Deep empathy for flight attendants - giving gifts to balance things out?

[gentlegee1976]

Hi everyone,
I want to show some appreciation to the flight attendants on an upcoming trip. This is country number 11 that I am going to visit, and over my travels, I've developed a deep personal empathy for public service workers.

I have prepared four £10 Starbucks gift vouchers (one for each crew member on a short-haul flight) to hand over.

This will be done from BHX whenever my finances allow me to. Along with the gift cards, I’ve written a note to explain why I'm doing this. This is the exact text of the note:

"Hi, please accept these Starbucks gift vouchers as a small gesture of my appreciation. There's one for each of you (4 in total).
I spent 10 years as a Birmingham bus driver, during which time I was spat at, punched in the face and headbutted, not to mention the endless disrespect and abuse that public service workers have to endure.
Although (as you already know) the overwhelming majority of people are polite and respectful, it's the small minority that can really ruin your day.
I'm just trying to balance things out a bit and maybe brighten your shift up a little. I truly understand the problems that you face, and the fact that they're only getting worse.
Unfortunately, 12-hour+ workdays are all too familiar to me as well. Please buy yourselves a nice breakfast, you deserve it. I appreciate your hard work, and recognise that you do a difficult and demanding job."

My question for the board is: will this small gesture do to try and balance out the endless problems that they have to deal with?

Has anyone done something similar, or do we have any cabin crew on here who can advise? They'll be given to the first attendant I see in an envelope (discreetly) when first boarding. They'll understand when they open it.
Thanks in advance.

A bad cup of coffee won’t make up for a bad day!(Starbucks coffee is muck)
Just say thank you FFS

Also, bits of your op make no sense. You start by saying you want to show some appreciation on an upcoming trip, and that this is country no 11 you are visiting - suggesting you have a trip booked.

You go on to say you HAVE prepared 4 x £10 gift vouchers.

Next though, you say you will do it “whenever finances allow”.

So which is it? Have you already got a trip booked and have bought the vouchers, or are you waiting til you can afford it? If the latter, is it the trip of the vouchers you are waiting to see if you can afford? If it’s the vouchers, you cannot afford to do this. If you can’t afford a one off payment of £40 without waiting until your finances allow, that suggests you aren’t in a position to spare that sort of money. There’s no shame in that - but you most definitely shouldn’t be spending £40 you really can’t spare for strangers doing what they are paid to do.

This is so weird.

Its a bot performiative and like your compensating for something missing in you

This is the most “I’ve used AI” post I’ve seen in a while. The bit about I’m about to fly to my 11th country was particularly special. On the very slight chance this is genuine just email the airline afterwards and name the crew who gave good service. That will be much more effective than a crappy Starbucks gift voucher.

Like a bus driver, a flight attendant is locked in a tight enclosure with lots of strangers, dealing with the exact same challenges, but amplified by the unique pressures of aviation.

But they don't have the "exact same challenges", do they? The flight staff aren't driving the bus, dealing with traffic, dealing with queries about where the plane goes, having to stop every few minutes to take more passengers on and let others off, dealing with people complaining about the bus being late or not being able to get their buggy on. The bus driver isn't making sure people do up seatbelts, serving out meals and drinks, dealing with passengers who are sick or scared, doing the safety demonstrations etc, but conversely isn't regularly being taken abroad with stopovers in hotels paid for by the company and doesn't get perks like cheap or free plane travel.

If you want to help people with shitty public facing jobs, it's not hard to think of more obvious candidates, to be honest.

I think the intention behind this gesture is good. I would make the note shorter because crews are time pressured, and also to avoid awkwardness mention upfront that if company policy means they cannot accept gifts, that’s ok.

Also give them after the flight so it doesn’t look as though you are angling for special treatment.

you understandably seem traumised by your past job. I think you might want to speak to someone to help you process things.
there are lots of jobs working with the public, other bus drivers, train drivers, medical staff etc. I am sorry but I would assume the air host or hostess might think you are hitting on them if you give that note. especially in the beginning before they have even started work. They might avoid you during the flight.

Yes, the flight attendants will surely cheer up and feel your deep empathy after reading about you being headbutted. Really, OP?

The best way in which to show your appreciation for their work is to behave like a normal, decent person during the flight.

The fact you have visited 10 countries has nothing to do with your learning to value the work of customer facing personnel. A person should know that regardless of how many planes they’ve stepped on.

Will you be checking the exact aircraft model you’re flying on, the morning of, as for certain narrow bodies you do get more than 4 cabin crew working it? After a certain number of passengers they must add a member of crew, so you could have 5 or 6 even on a short haul flight - think A321s etc, which are slightly larger. Oh, and since you seem so knowledgeable after your 10 holidays abroad - perhaps you can use “cabin crew” instead of flight attendants going forward, as that is the correct name for their position.

I don’t know if you know this op, but you can say thank you to someone and give them a gift/tip WITHOUT having to post online and tell people all about how generous you are.

This ⬆️
It's weird and the note is way too much, but if that's what you want to do then just do it. To post on SM that you are doing this and adding the gushing note smacks of you looking for praise and admiration and, tbh, is giving off narcissistic vibes.

As to whether there are more ‘worthy’ recipients, there probably are, but in the same way that we can donate to the cause of our choice, it’s up to the OP. It’s her money.

So have I. It was weird then and weird now.

Just give them all a tenner and be done with it. It all seems a bit dramatic.

Weird and Eye-rolly.

I’ve done similar, not the weird note, that’s a definite no, but I’ve given money to people as a gesture of thanks and appreciation before. It doesn’t go down well, I think it makes them feel like a charity case. I’d find another way to show your thanks. Short (emphasis on short) email after the flight sounds like a decent plan.

As an aside, your empathy may not be as deep as you think if you can’t see how this would be awkward for them. Empathy means being able to put yourself in others’ shoes and understand things from their perspective, it isn’t the same as sympathy.

YAB Unusual.

I don’t think they’ll get a ‘nice breakfast’ for £10 anywhere. Definitely not in Starbucks.

What is the relevance of ‘this is country number 11’? Would the tip be bigger if you’d been to more countries?

I used to clean aeroplanes at Gatwick for a short time. We worked very hard. We didn’t have to deal directly with the public but we had to clean up the mess they’d made which was at times mind-boggling and hazardous to health. We got paid significantly less than cabin crew and we didn’t even get to go anywhere! 🙄 Will you give tips for the desk staff, baggage handlers and cleaners too? They work very hard to help make your holiday happen.

"this is country number 11"

Im dying from second hand cringe. Talk to me when you're over 50 countries, you wild jet-setter, you

This makes me deeply unconfortable and I'm not quite sure why.

The note very much reads as if you are doing this for some personal gain/satisfaction (me, me, me) even though on the surface it is a selfess if grandiose gesture.

I agree with all of that but would go further in the first paragraph, try to give discreetly and, if possible, anonymously..

The second paragraph is spot on.

My sister is a flight attendant and says that hate people who do this. It’s an online trend to try and get upgrades and freebies.

I really wouldn’t.

I don’t think you need be any more than extremely polite and considerate, good humoured and very grateful for whatever they do whilst you are on board. There are so many links in the transport chain of people we don’t even see that to single out those who actually fly with you is unfair. What about the person operating the scanner who ensures that your suitcase (knickers and frizzy hair cream) get to Marbs with you? Far more important that the duty free on board person.

The gift cards are a nice idea but the note is frankly odd and agree with others, if you really have to do this, do it when you get off not on

The Americanisms need sorting on AI. It’s so clear

I remember, years ago, when using the local bus, a Woman, who was a regular, used to give the bus driver a small package that she had made up. I could make out that it contained a couple of chocolates, a mars bar, kit kat type. I thought that it was a nice thing to do, although it is something that would not cross my mind to do it myself.

Make sure you take a photo for Facebook, you don't want any good deeds going unnoticed.