Deep empathy for flight attendants - giving gifts to balance things out?

[gentlegee1976]

Hi everyone,
I want to show some appreciation to the flight attendants on an upcoming trip. This is country number 11 that I am going to visit, and over my travels, I've developed a deep personal empathy for public service workers.

I have prepared four £10 Starbucks gift vouchers (one for each crew member on a short-haul flight) to hand over.

This will be done from BHX whenever my finances allow me to. Along with the gift cards, I’ve written a note to explain why I'm doing this. This is the exact text of the note:

"Hi, please accept these Starbucks gift vouchers as a small gesture of my appreciation. There's one for each of you (4 in total).
I spent 10 years as a Birmingham bus driver, during which time I was spat at, punched in the face and headbutted, not to mention the endless disrespect and abuse that public service workers have to endure.
Although (as you already know) the overwhelming majority of people are polite and respectful, it's the small minority that can really ruin your day.
I'm just trying to balance things out a bit and maybe brighten your shift up a little. I truly understand the problems that you face, and the fact that they're only getting worse.
Unfortunately, 12-hour+ workdays are all too familiar to me as well. Please buy yourselves a nice breakfast, you deserve it. I appreciate your hard work, and recognise that you do a difficult and demanding job."

My question for the board is: will this small gesture do to try and balance out the endless problems that they have to deal with?

Has anyone done something similar, or do we have any cabin crew on here who can advise? They'll be given to the first attendant I see in an envelope (discreetly) when first boarding. They'll understand when they open it.
Thanks in advance.

Don’t do it. They’ll think you’re a lunatic.

2 things stand out for me. 1) cabin crew aren’t public service workers, yes they work with the public (as do a lot of people), so why them? 2) the message is not good, buy yourself a nice breakfast at Starbucks? They get food provided at the hotels they stay at

I agree it feels performative and more about you then about them.

Once a bus driver called me a whore and gave me the finger because I wouldn’t give him my phone number.

The jobs of many millions of people can absolutely be unbearable at times, it seems a bit odd to single out flight attendants above everyone else. Also as others have mentioned they might not be allowed to accept gifts.

Just thank them in the normal way.

All kinds of weird. They are not public service workers. And it’s clearly all about you.

You might have some unresolved issues about your hideous job, and who could blame you. I’d concentrate on that rather than doing a Lord Bountiful on cabin crew.

This is really odd behaviour, though obviously wellmeaning.

The over-sharing in the note would make me feel deeply uncomfortable. You seem traumatised by your experiences as a bus driver. Gently, have you considered speaking to someone.

It’s a nice idea so although it seems a bit weird to me, I wouldn’t want to put you off doing a nice thing.

The long rambling note really isn’t needed though. You could convey your recognition of the difficulties of the job and your appreciation in two sentences.

They’re not working in a sweat shop or doing 12 hour shifts in a call centre. 😂

They will think you’re a complete weirdo, I’m afraid.

It’s a bit patronising , a gift voucher is nice but it’s £10 you don’t need to make it sound like you are paying their mortgage off for them .
im a nurse so actually public sector and can’t stand people treating you like a martyr it’s a job I’m paid and skilled to do, gifts are kind but not when they come loaded with pity about how shit your job is .

Total rot and virtue signalling nonsense. What’s all this “this is country number II am going to visit” and …..? Do you only fly very short haul on Ryan Air, because what about all the rest of the cabin crew on a long haul plane, how do you know that the first person you meet on the plane won’t pocket them all?

if I were cabin crew, the greatest gift to me would be for the passengers to sit in their seats when they’re meant to, not get pissed and say please and thank you. A Starbucks voucher to me if I’m lucky, and my colleagues if I’m stood at the wrong end of the plane, is a joke.

Are you okay, OP? People who claim deep empathy seem to be more likely to be struggling mentally, ime. It does seem like you had a really rough time as a bus driver, and sometimes these experiences stay with you far longer than is really healthy.
The gift card is fine if you feel the need, but the note makes you seem a bit unwell, and it might well be unnerving to receive something like that from a stranger.

Also, why flight attendants specifically?

Because sometimes they have the ability to upgrade you. Which is why OP wants to give this grand gesture while boarding. It used to be a thing.

This is all virtue signalling and nauseating.

Posters on here understand that flight attendance (and any other customer facing roles) deal with idiots. But what you are doing does seem odd, a bit self indulgent as
though you are projecting beef you have from from your job onto their job.

Were you also planning to post about your good deed on social media after?

If you really want to do it, forget the note or just write “thank you” and give it to ground crew to pass over anonymously - feels very odd to hand it over in person on your way through when you have never met them before.

It’s over the top. Just be really polite when receiving their service and thank them when disembarking as many people don’t bother to even do that. Making their job easier by being polite and considerate is what they really appreciate,

He’s going on a short-haul flight. Maybe with EasyJet or the like, so only one cabin.

Now being cabin crew on EasyJet probably is a bit shite, but I’d still not want to be patronised by this virtue-signaller.

Can't you just say 'please' and 'thank you'?

Nice gesture but the note is a bit weird. You don't have to give your life story, just say thanks for your hard work and give it to them.

What performative bullshit. This is not deep empathy and selflessness, it’s all about you. So weird and so disingenuous.

If you want to give them a tip, go ahead. But that note is navel gazing nonsense. If you handed me that, I’d be very wary of you for the rest of the flight. I’d be expecting pitying smiles, little pats on the arm and questions on “how I’m doing” whilst watching you sit there smugly about how deeply empathetic you are, and better than all the other customers when you’re probably quite annoying.

Giving a tip is about them, not about you. That note is just attention seeking. You aren’t writing to someone who has gone through some great ordeal which you share with them, where maybe a note like that is needed and means something. You were a bus driver. Get over yourself.

There's a trend??

This has saviour complex vibes, sorry

But you’re not a public service worker, and neither are cabin crew unless directly employed by a state airline! Do you mean ‘public-facing’ workers?

Do you feel sorry for them? Certainly comes across this way with your 'deep empathy' comment. Your gesture is misjudged.