Deep empathy for flight attendants - giving gifts to balance things out?

[gentlegee1976]

Hi everyone,
I want to show some appreciation to the flight attendants on an upcoming trip. This is country number 11 that I am going to visit, and over my travels, I've developed a deep personal empathy for public service workers.

I have prepared four £10 Starbucks gift vouchers (one for each crew member on a short-haul flight) to hand over.

This will be done from BHX whenever my finances allow me to. Along with the gift cards, I’ve written a note to explain why I'm doing this. This is the exact text of the note:

"Hi, please accept these Starbucks gift vouchers as a small gesture of my appreciation. There's one for each of you (4 in total).
I spent 10 years as a Birmingham bus driver, during which time I was spat at, punched in the face and headbutted, not to mention the endless disrespect and abuse that public service workers have to endure.
Although (as you already know) the overwhelming majority of people are polite and respectful, it's the small minority that can really ruin your day.
I'm just trying to balance things out a bit and maybe brighten your shift up a little. I truly understand the problems that you face, and the fact that they're only getting worse.
Unfortunately, 12-hour+ workdays are all too familiar to me as well. Please buy yourselves a nice breakfast, you deserve it. I appreciate your hard work, and recognise that you do a difficult and demanding job."

My question for the board is: will this small gesture do to try and balance out the endless problems that they have to deal with?

Has anyone done something similar, or do we have any cabin crew on here who can advise? They'll be given to the first attendant I see in an envelope (discreetly) when first boarding. They'll understand when they open it.
Thanks in advance.

Why not give these cards to bus drivers then? I feel a lot more sympathy for our bus drivers than for flight attendants. Bus drivers that have unruly teens fighting or drunk men threatening them etc.
I just think it’s a nice idea you’ve got but the wrong group of people.

You drove a bus, you weren't down the mines ffs. Get a grip and stop being such an absolute drama llama.

I have only ever seen this once in real life on an internal flight in the US, there was an announcement on the speakerphone thingy to say there were two returning servicemen on the flight so there was a round of applause, next thing this man was thanking the cabin crew and his wife had a basket with cellophane and ribbon, no idea what was inside and I don't remember seeing it before we boarded. There was a whole awkward speech about them saving America, looking after people, fighting terrorism (this was 2014), before he asked everyone to clap and show their appreciation whilst his wife presented this basket. It felt very uncomfortable and awkward.

Oh no please dont do this, especially the note 😩

Well this is a little odd op; cabin crew aren’t to be pitied.

It’s pretty competitive to train as cabin crew. Many love their jobs. Just thank them. I can think of far better targets for your ‘charity’!

Sorry but it sounds a bit desperate, like you're desperate to be seen and acknowledged by the crew.
Just be a polite, well behaved passenger.

I think this is absolutely lovely and really not odd - it's a sad inditement of our society that so many of you think it is. I think people are misreading public service as public sector when you just mean they're also in a service role dealing with the general public, which is often horrific. I only ever did customer service by phone/email but it changes how you interact with other service workers, trust me! (Also to all those people saying the crew are paid to be there, so is everyone who works in the public sector, what's your point?) Though I guess if multiple people respond from the industry saying the note is too much then listen to them. I agree with giving it at the end but definitely not doling out individually like someone suggested

Also I'm very sorry that was your experience working as a bus driver, it's important work which should be better rewarded and appreciated.

Your note is very me me me.
And surely you would be dishing out vouchers to the bus drivers too?

Its nice to thank people, but the letter misses the mark as its all about you and your projection. Para1 and the final para from 'please buy...' are fine. But I'd lose the rest.
If you want to make an impact, note their names and write to the airline about them commenting on their good customer service and professionalism with examples. If you're worried about their T&Cs, then write expressing your concern, again with examples.
But again, make it about them rather than you as that dilutes what you're trying to achieve.

I’ve seen this on social media. It is really
odd as whenever I get on a plane you’d be holding up the line to hand these over and explain what they were.

maybe the trend came from people
with babies handing out small gifts to passengers and staff with a note written ‘from the baby’ saying they are
x months old, might cry etc etc This is also weird and unnecessary.

I think the note is too much and makes it about you not them. A short, thank you, I appreciate your work would suffice.

I would be worried about them thinking I was after special treatment on the cheap, that I was some sort of grandiose toff throwing crumbs to the little folk and expecting them to be grateful or just plain old bonkers.

If you do it at all do it after the flight and hopefully you will never see them again.

I don’t know if you know this op, but you can say thank you to someone and give them a gift/tip WITHOUT having to post online and tell people all about how generous you are.

This feels very much like you’ve posted purely to get people replying to tell you how wonderful and kind you are, what a great idea you’ve come up with and how the cabin crew will be overcome with your generosity. You probably won’t even actually do it, you just want the plaudits from strangers for thinking about doing it.

Your note is cringy AF. I think I threw up a little in my mouth as I read it. As others have said, you’ve made it all about YOU. If you’re genuinely planning to do this, it most definitely comes across as doing it for you rather than them. And I agree that giving it at the start of the flight feels calculated to try to get an upgrade/receive better service/have the crew fawn over you the entire flight.

I too wonder if you are male or female. Given the majority of cabin crew are female (70-75% apparently), if you are a man this looks like you are being a creep. I wouldn’t even be surprised if I found out you added your phone number to the note…

If this really isn’t about you and you’ve just come across badly here, I would do this - At the END of the flight, as you are leaving, hand the cards to one of the cabin crew WITHOUT the note. Simply say something like “thank you for a great flight. Please can you share these with the rest of the cabin crew” then leave. Don’t put your name or seat number on them anywhere. Don’t post about it online, or go around telling people what you did. If you think to yourself you don’t want to do it if you can’t post online to say you’ve done it, or because you can’t include your note, you should not do it at all because you are doing it for YOU and not for them.

That's incredibly patronising.

Do you think cabin crew leave school, shuffle to the job centre and get placed on planes against their will?

It's a sought after, multi-step-interview role that requires lots of dedication and comes with several perks.

I'm sure we all have good and bad aspects of our jobs. A client being decent, polite and thanking you for specific assistance is great. Having someone push £10 on you with a note explaining why they understand just how shitty your chosen career path is - not so much.

Are you in the spectrum OP?

As you’re quite new to flying / haven’t flown very much (11 flights) maybe it’s a bigger thing in your head about flight attendants? They are professional, well paid and trained.

It was very very kind though that you think of them and I would be glad of it, just thinking some might find it patronising though

It's odd.

Why not give gift cards to bus drivers?

I'm sure you mean well, but this smacks of "I was a little person like you once upon a time, and now I'm not. Here's some coffee money to soften the blow for you."

I don't know why they especially need a gift, but that's totally up to you. I don't see flight attendants as an especially put-upon demographic. We all meet idiots at work.

I’m sure there was someone on here before suggesting similar. Sorry OP, being polite and well behaved is all that’s needed.

As many people have pointed out, this is obviously all about you. You've posted three times and equated flight staff to bus drivers. They're not bus drivers, you were, and it's clearly left it's mark. Leave the flight staff alone.

Wow! I’ve never seen such a kind hearted gesture get such a negative response - how sad for the poster.
I’m ex-cabin crew. I’ve never received or know of any previous colleagues receiving monetary gifts like that. What we have had in the past is passengers buying a small bottle of baileys or a box of chocolates from the duty tree trolley onboard, and giving them to us at the front of the aircraft as they get off & saying thank you. We then take them back to the crew room after and share them while we debrief etc. For anyone that has been on a well behaved flight - lucky you! As most people know when they work with the public, it’s not easy. People are very rude & difficult and the only difference in the aircraft is that you can’t just walk away for a breather. Also, cabin crew pay is not close to a pilots wage lol We wish!
Poster you obviously have a very kind heart & empathy for other people that work with the public. You do whatever you want to do. I would hand it out at the end, as that’s what usually happens. Have a good flight x

You can’t get on a flight and hand cabin crew an envelope, that’s so weird. They’ll wonder what it is, you mentioned they’ll understand once they open it but when do you think they’re going to do that?
Cabin crew might even assume that the envelope contains some type of threat.

The gift card is a nice gesture but the note is purely for your own benefit and extremely condescending. Most of it talks about your experiences as a bus driver and seems written so they will empathise with you.

Give the gift cards at the end of the flight as a small thank you and leave it at that

This. And they are not public service workers either. They work for a private company. Totally different. Nice thought but dont do this. Give the cards to someone else.