Captain V, Paws, catnip or dreamies?

[QueenOllie]

New thread

Wanna be my friend Mr Pidge?

What is going on there? World’s coolest or most stupid pigeon?

Is it a baby?.

Is it the new Amazon delivery man?

It was resting on top of the catio. The catproofed catio . Apparently not so cat proofed after all. He trotted around the garden with it and then lost interest without ripping it to shreds. He's not the most intelligent of Savannah's....

He's not the most intelligent of Savannah's....

But intelligent enough to get out of a catproof catio 😱

He's a lover not a fighter.

Ollie is horrified. Why have a pigeon when you can have mamas pen?

The Manager at his desk!!! I bet the customer on the receiving end of that letter will be thrilled.

Paws was here at 7.30am. Not as prepared for work, he's a breakfast first kinda guy

Is he on flexitime? I hope you and Big O have knocked off now. Is Ollie making you call him Sir?

I think a day in the life of Ollie would be like Samuel Pepys' Diary.

"Up betimes and supped with my Lady. Thence I walked to my office in MA BUSH, where I did sleep for some time. The child of my neighbour did come and disport with me, and that I very much enjoyed. After noon I met with Milord Paws and we discoursed about the state of affairs. Thence we went to watch the execution of a mouse at No. 79. It was a gruesome affair and the mouse did bewail its fate mightily. I requested the company of Milord Paws at dinner after which we did play together. And so to bed with my Lady and we did converse together for some time."

@TheLongRider that made me snort laughing which has much displeased Ollie
How his day actually went
Shout at mama for food
Eat
Outside, inside, outside, inside
Shout at mama it's too cold and where is the second breakfast
Eat
Sleep for 7hrs
Scream loudly down mamas phone
Eat
Nap on mamas lap
Eat
Bed

Thanks! Mind you, Pepys lived through a fire and plague and had numerous health problems, I think the comparison is apt.

Just found paws sat patiently on the windowsill waiting for me to spot him (I was running a bath)
Ollie has one eye open lazily watching him

You must be up and down like a yo yo, Queen. He seems to turn up very late some nights and very early some mornings. He must come sometimes and you don’t realise because you’re asleep.
It really would be better for all concerned if he just moved in!

Yeah some mornings I get up and he's straight in at 7.30, sometimes he doesn't turn up until after lunch. Evenings can be any time!
I have the window open all day so Ollie can wander so that's ok. Just evenings I have to let him in. Luckily he uses the window by the sofa

@TheLongRider

I think a day in the life of Ollie would be like Samuel Pepys' Diary.

"Up betimes and supped with my Lady. Thence I walked to my office in MA BUSH, where I did sleep for some time. The child of my neighbour did come and disport with me, and that I very much enjoyed. After noon I met with Milord Paws and we discoursed about the state of affairs. Thence we went to watch the execution of a mouse at No. 79. It was a gruesome affair and the mouse did bewail its fate mightily. I requested the company of Milord Paws at dinner after which we did play together. And so to bed with my Lady and we did converse together for some time."

Omg TheLongRider, that is totally brilliant! I think Ollie would be quite pleased with the Samuel Pepys comparison. I imagine Paws trying to get Nell Gwynne to give him free oranges.

Paws should be called rascal. I can leave Ollie with lit candles, a bag of dreamies open... anything
Paws needs a padded room. If I ever hear a giant crash and find them both looking innocent (my poor glass fairy lights) I can guarantee it's Paws. He seems to cause chaos just by existing

@TheLongRider, you are the first feline literary genius. Awarded the inaugural 2020 Litter Tray Dreamie Medal for services to world writing.

True story: when I asked the Royal Literary Fund for a grant to finish off a book, they made me apply, sending a wedge of paper that took about 2 days to hack through. Within 5 min of sending the massive form in a woman rang back saying 'We've amazon-ed you and we only support LITERATURE'.

I am still delighted to this day by how rude, the quality insult cheered me up way more than any teeny cheque. Jolly old Rupert Murdoch coughed up in the end, bless him.

Here's one book that will never be written: the cat version of Diary of A Nobody. We must apply for a grant....

I read it to Ollie as a bedtime story, I think he approved

I think @Justonedayatatime11 brood would have to be written in the style of Malory Towers or some sort of boarding school novel.

@TheLongRider

I think *@Justonedayatatime11* brood would have to be written in the style of Malory Towers or some sort of boarding school novel.

More like St Trinians 😉

I see Leroy and DS as the joint heroes of a new genre, the pet romance where the cat-walker gets the girl. Smash hit novel of the year 2021.

@YesItsMeIDontCare after the movie rights are sold in a frenzied bidding auction, eight different Leroys are cast while DS is played by Harry Styles, who everyone agrees is not a patch on DS IRL.

In the name of research, female lead Beyonce insists on accompanying DS on walks for months, while Leroy wees in Jay-Z's Porsche every chance he gets.

Harry Styles as DS

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤦🏼‍♀️

I'm not 100% sure he'd approve of that!

Leroy said no-one, no-one could portray his beauty accurately on screen so may be better off taking on the role himself. I've pointed out it involves getting off his fat furry arse and doing as he's told so he's gone off that idea....

I think Paws could take on the role of Flash Harry for Just's St Trinians lot 😁