Pilling the cat: 100 easy steps

[Supersimpkin]

No.

Boycat is hiding from me, thinks he's invisible in his cave...

He is just beautiful.

How can you tell? He's so well hidden there.....

We've had wandering onto the balcony - everyone's windows and balconies are open, it's hot - yowling, at a pitch and frequency ensuring all 120 flats are listening to the helpless shrieks of a starved and neglected animal - and sauntering back.

Not just yowling - M&S yowling.

Apparently the parrot next door has had a nervous breakdown and been sold. Isn't that awful. I don't blame Mr C, he was only trying to be friendly.

Is Boycat about to self i.d. as a tortoise?

No Weezol. It's very sad, he's self-ID'd as a panther but there are certain basic prerequisites he is missing & can't really replicate.

Yes he has a comparatively long snout, the right shaped body and looong tail, so his body shape is slightly more panther than most domestic cats. Unfortunately to be a true panther you need things like brains, agility and bravery and no amount of surgery or hormone therapy will give him those

You lot do make me laugh.
Matt and I luff our Litter Tray mates

But Boycat is a panther! A panther is simply any cat species that's black.

I thought it only applied to the large cats, but Leroy has informed me that I'm incorrect and he is definitely a panther.

To prove it, here's a picture of Leroy "panthering" in a local jungle.

We had a row about the definition of panthers once. Dhs side was “a black Jaguar is a leopard” or vice versa. It involved swearing, YouTube, google and a zoos website where they actually had a fucking black cat he said didn’t exist.

I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it.

We still can’t talk about it. I use term melanistic now, just for clarity. It’s really hard to get it into daily conversation though, there aren't any black cats in the street to use it on, Asbo beat them all up.

But Yes surely that's just melanistic bigotry! Who are you to tell say, Mr C or Thug Cat that they can't be a panther just because they aren't black?

In fact, Leroy must be a bigot too as he's trying to exclude cats who self-ID as black, on the grounds that Panther is a term to mean black. Maybe Boycat & Leroy should be called CIS-black?

When I was doing a v grown-up survey on attitudes to transpeople the other day I was asked for my sexuality. There were nine choices. All were made-up rubbish & wrong.

Where, precisely, was the tickbox for 'Spinster with pet?' While I was dithering Mr C pressed 'Two-spirit'. No idea what that is.

I am too scared to google 'two-spirit'.

Did they have a box for "given up, it's not worth it"?

Leroy must be a bigot too as he's trying to exclude cats who self-ID as black,

I can promise you Leroy is no bigot. His exclusions are totally random and change on a daily basis 😁.

I have no idea what our female is self ID-ing as . She's spent much of today in a Tesco Star Wars Bag-For-Life.

Nine Lives?
Shopping?
Princess Leila?
Chewbacca?

Leroy is totally Black Panthertastic.

He needs to star in a film about him and Boycat saving the world.

I see the Black Panthers and give you (metaphorically speaking) Tarot and Dexter .

Look at those eyes !
Makes mental notes not to let them cross my path on the stairs

The panther is snoozy

@70isaLimitNotaTarget : Tarot & Dexter have gorgeous eyes!

@YesQueen : Is Ollie back to his own purrsonal equivalent of normal now?

Well he's shouting at me and demanding food (both 24/7, he only stops shouting when he eats), and tutting disapproval out the window so he seems much better

Good news re The Black Prince.

Tarot & Dexter are hopelessly lovely. I see they are true superheroes when it comes to the Snack Stare. That glare would see off every comicbook villain in history. And terrify Fred West, to be honest

Mr C has just fallen off the sofa, but it hasn't stopped him asking for 7 types of dinner, all rejected. He's had a chew. On me now, noisy purring.

My sleep app not only recorded me snoring last night, apparently Ollie was also sat next to my head having an incredibly noisy wash. I was WTF is that noise on my app?!?

Lana I mis-read that by not seeing the full stop after "chew" so it read "He's had a chew on me now"

He needs to star in a film about him and Boycat saving the world

Boycat couldn't save himself, let alone the world. Now his smaller, more delicate looking sister is another matter..... Then again, she'd probably only save the world if she knew there was either Dreamies, Lik E Lix or tinned tuna in it for her"

And terrify Fred West, to be honest

Not sure about Fred but they're planning on scaring some John West tuna into submission and down their gullets tomorrow !