Pilling the cat: 100 easy steps

[Supersimpkin]

No.

Ollie has just shoved Paws off the windowsill

Baby wipes will do the trick.

If Paws took his demotion to the floor - not the Throne of Sill - he's a gent and they'll get on.

She's vanished now of course. We'll give it a go with a flannel in the morning. (We are madly green types who don't do single use wipes).

No scrapping but Ollie just lifted his paw, pushed him out the window and watched him fall with a face of "oops"

Ollie's establishing House Rules. MA Sill.

Well done on the flannel. I only use wipes on Mr C in extremis - he loves them, won't go near my bath sponge.

He's definitely in a mood. I just rescued him from standing on the pavement where he was screaming at another poor cat who was just sat in its own driveway, minding its business
Ollie was all "wah wah wah" at it

It's his house and his Queen, you can see why he's got the arse.

Maybe explain about the housing crisis and the need to take in the homeless :)

If he calms down a bit & Paws isn't a threat, you might be ok. If not, poor Paws will have to go to rescue.

Paws was lying outside the door this morning
He came in, Ollie didn't seem fussed, he was too busy shouting at me that breakfast was unacceptable

Poor Paws. What was wrong with Breakfast I?

Mr C had a Ham Dream and woke me up chewing and purring.

Who knows. It was acceptable yesterday but not this morning. He did eat meatballs with cheese last night so maybe he was full

Paws just tried to catch a wasp and Ollie is sat on his bum in the garden with his back legs in front of him "I sit like hooman"
I don't attract the brightest of cats

She is back to her usual clean self this morning so I hope she does not get sick.
Hanging round the washing machine waiting for yet another mouse to come out.

Yeah you’ve got visitors.

The mice will be out of there soon.

Olli is very gifted and talented, says Mr C.

It will be about the fifth this week if she did catch it.

Love the pics you’ve put on Facebook Queen. 😂

For the second time in 10 days Mr C has done the Unforgivable.

Hassling me relentlessly for food, he jumped up onto a hot stove, and into a hot pan. Boiling oil, twice, of course

Yes, he knows. We are both still alive and unburnt.

He's being locked out of the flat next time I cook.

Oh shit, you are going to have a dog crate to contain him for both your safety.

I'm out collecting a neglected cat

Fluffy Yep. He's behaving OK now, but this particular crazy isn't ok.

Have you got a crate for asbo? I've found one online but I'm going to try the lock-out first. Might get the message through.

No asbo appears just as my bum hits the chair to eat dinner.

I have a fluffy black cat asleep in my bathroom

How long is it staying with you?.

Hm. Has Olli been on FB doing those teen party invitations again?

Ollie is FUMING. It's a v thin, incredible friendly older cat. V hungry and is now fast asleep purring on the cooling mat after being kicked out it's home