The Further Adventures Of Newboy

[RubbishMantra]

I don't think anyone's begun a new thread yet?

Hope you don't mind Cozie. Newboy's Fairy God(cat)mothers love hearing about his progress.

Soot wart was a real disease that chimney sweeps got Lana, it's a scrotal cancer caused by the carcinogens in the soot.
Phossy jaw was a particularly nasty type of bone decay caused by the phosphorus used to make matches.
Poor little cats

Just looked up Dickens' cat Edward out if curiosity and discovered that another of his cats, Bob, had his paw made into a letter opener after death

Oh God, poor Balls with scrotal cancer.

I knew about phossy jaw, ewww. Still, at least they're not on the game.

Yet.

They'll turn to gin for a little comfort, the keep the chill, icy winds out of their delicate little bones.
They'll end up in the vice dens of wherever olivander lives. Gin is the the start of a slippery slope.

you will be pleased to know I gave the ferals a toy mouse. Boy kitten immediately killed it while girl cat looked on with disdain

She's going to make him do all the work when they get released
Still no sign of original stablecat?

No sign at all
Little miss just sits reclining at the back of the crate and spits if you try to go near her
Boy is still wary but more playful

I was just about to look up soot wart & then you told me what it was. Nearly as good as googling skin diseases.

Hemingway had 49 cats. The family (cats, not humans) still live at home, which is now a national museum. All his cats had too many fingers; H was evidently a toe-bean enthusiast.

Oh dear, the paw letter-opener. Mr C does that alive. And smashes keyboards and slaps my hands while typing. p;[----------'''''-----'''''''''''''''

sorry cat after ham - cats and writers are a long and irritating literary tradition. No wonder Dickens composed hos books out loud.

"This is a mouse? An I am here to kill them?"

Oh ......if it was real, the scene would be different.

I'm scared for the mice after seeing how he was with the toy one
Pouncing and then battering it against the crate bars!

If there are a great many rodents, you'll need to keep them ever so slightly hungry.

Yep usually they will have constant access to some dry food and wet food about 3 times a week when I give them some

When I gave Mr C a windup rat he freaked. It was really pricy, a hyper-real one from the Science Museum. A mistake.

He ran away shooting me piteous looks. Apparently mothers (ono, ie me or you) are supposed to teach kittens how to kill them. Mr C was properly at a loss and desperate for me to show him what to do.

I spent ages 'killing it' operatically with a wooden spoon and binned it, loudly took the bin out. Told him we'd move if we ever saw a real one.

A rat? I'm not surprised. A full grown specimen would give many cats pause for thought.

He ate all of his breakfast this morning. (Mind you, this was after being THOROUGHLY sick last night.)

Poor little lad. Poor you with the cif spray as well, at the climax of fave telly programme no doubt.Sounds like a one off attack tho'.

Mr C nicked a packet of ham in the night. Very affectionate today.

Unfortunately, I can't groom him so I guess there are bound to be sicks. Hey Ho.

You're very laid back about the ham!

I bought two packets. :)

Ah. So he knew one was for him anyway.

I've been out all day for the first time in ages. Ollie is delighted I'm home and keeps head butting me and shouting ma-ma
I asked for a normal cat

Hermione the evil elf sends Christmas greetings to New Boy.

Can also provide hints on tinsel bungy jumping

Lordy, she's a pretty girl.

Please don't mention tinsel by the way. I'm conscious that I should be putting the tree up next weekend but I have no idea how he'll react. I'm a bit sweer about the whole endeavour.

The sweetness and emotional beauty of Olli and Hermione!!! Newboy has first Xmas card from a gorgeous gal, not bad going.

Sweer? Is that what a nesh Southerner would call lairy (= wary and a bit fighty)?

Maybe pay Dbro to do it??