TOWIE - after the cull

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

I suspect they didn’t swing the hatchet enough. One our two have really been there too long.

I reckon that the ones who survived have had that much filler that the hatchet simply bounced off…

Not looking at anyone in particular sistas

Some shocking sights here:
www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-10296307/Amber-Turner-Chloe-Brockett-pull-fashion-stops-TOWIE-Christmas-special.html

Where do they get these clothes? Is this what young people are wearing now? The Sims sister who isn't Chloe or Demi appears to have come out in pyjamas. Could at least have run a steamer over those terrible trousers. I also could do without seeing Diags holding hands with his child bride.

The sistas are a fright. All three of them look shocking.

Cheesey’s squeeze is doing a Gutsby’s squeeze. I can’t help but think they are either a story line or it is a way of getting on the show.

I think Amber and. LCB look ok. In fact if there weren’t two overboobages on that jumpsuit it would look grand. The colour looks stunning on her. I’m just not a fan of the wallopers being so prominent.

The sistas do the same. I feel their norks are reaching for the sun though. They live in a hell of a lot of shadow their lips and lashes keep them in darkness.

The rest however have been doing a rummage in the dressing up box.

Kindly provided by Christmas sale rack c&a,circa 1985.

I think Chloe b looks like Pete b

Pete burns

Those lips

And wow at those boobs. If only a little smaller amber would be stunning

LCB on slebs go dating. Word.

I am bored of Gutsby and Dani.

Drama follows them round like a stink.

Court n Chlo need to keep well away from Gutsby. The man is a farkin tube. Can his family keep him when he goes away for Christmas?

Taking a back seat from Towie is the best thing for those girls. It must be lovely being able to keep their own faces.

Ame’s Harry looks like a 1970s vampire character.

Still not buying the cheesy love. That sight of that kiss sealed my lulu shut. It probably sealed hers shut too.

Sistas fiddling with the cauldron. No surprise there.

And the Dani flounce? Them that smelt it dealt it. Or them that kissed it felt it.

No one cares.

Seen e1

Does t matter who leaned in

So dani and Roman snogged. A few times

Does gatsby know or not

Once.

Twice.

Multiple times

Depending on who you believe blondes

He does know. You would wonder just how much he knows…

I’m thinking along the lines of ‘I did not have relations with that fella’ type vibe.

Multiple kisses on multiple occasions? And no shilly-shallying/fumbling?

Nah.

Yet he’s still with dani

Why

Ans he so can’t sing. At the beginning of Xmas e1 he was sooooooo tone deaf

So how does he have A record coming out

Tho equally it was March and tech she wasn’t gats girlfriend then

Took 6mths of seeing each other to be a couple

Oh his singing was painful.

It is worse than my singing. And that says a lot.

I don’t buy the relationship. I don’t buy that relationship of cheesyD.

I won’t be buying Gutsby’s record either.

Thank God Brockett pointed out the weirdness of Dani and Roman being like faaaaaaamlee but also having snogged... someone needed to say it.

Not sure which of Amy's children I feel more sorry for, "Pops" who constantly gets wheeled out for the cameras (including playing happy families with the boyfriend who's been in the picture), or her little son whose sensible dad won't let him do any meeja appearances - hope he doesn't get forgotten given that he can't be monetised. I have visions of him being shut in a cupboard somewhere.

Talking of meeja why do they always talk about things having happened on "socials" rather than name the platform? I don't have time to go trawling instagram, twitter etc for the drama, I just want to know where to look.

oops, meant to say with [Amy's] boyfriend who's been in the picture about 10 minutes...

Yes the one she will marry

Hmmmmm that won’t last

She thought the last bloke Tim I think, was the perfect bf

LCB has it right about the faaaaarmlee.

I hope Amy’s new chap is the one.

She said so so he must be.