TOWIE S26. Starts tonight SUNDAY 13th sept - itvbe 9/10pm

[Blondeshavemorefun]

Whoop

My trashy towie is back 😍😍

I liked the 10yr last week

Let’s see how they coped after lockdown and from tomorrow filming will be harder as no paaaaaaaaaarties

There can be no kick in the ultraviolettes when you have chins like desperate dan shielding said shinies.

You would break your feet.

I could be wrong but it looks like Someone has been colouring in.

Yup. Done looking at you HarryLego. For someone with such a strong determined hairline, there seems to be an anti-Brazilian on the top of yer bonce. Own it dude. Don’t fill it in wiv felt tip blud.

They are certainly turning back time with poundies Cher. A kiddy party. Everyone else gets a ball, a castle party, a Bollywood shindig. Poundies Cher gets jelly and ice cream at a country pile. With diags. Meow.

Gutsby and his bang bang bang.

No bangy bangy for you.
Because it is shite shite shite.
And simsistas in the video? As the blow up sex dolls that go pop pop pop when he goes bang bang bang?

The big chinners need personalities to match their mandibles.

I don't get why nobody like amber, I wasn't keen on her at first after the shushing chloe m but now I actually quite like her. She was bang on about cleo or whatever the hell her name is and Nicole's personality. I can't stand the 2 of them. This Nicole is a nasty little c...t and I have absolutely no idea who she is but would constantly see her commenting on absolutely everyones instagram pictures if ever I clicked any being up there arse trying to get her name out there or something she is massively irrelevant.

I have to fast forward when gatsby is on he bores me to absolute tears.

I’m with you myrtle

I’ve warmed to her.

I’ll not warm to the beefing Nichole and Cletus though.

It must be pure miserable being in a room with them two.

Time for a towie cull I think. Starting with those two.

They might get a consolation advert job for chewing gum or summat. What with them great big jaws and all...

And couldn’t agree more about Gutsby.

Time for Mummy to summon him back to the States or wherever she went.

Flouncing about like a poundies Tony Manero. And in a Ken doll staying alive costume to boot.

An ad job beckons for I can’t believe he’s its not butter.

You might not believe it but you’d believe he would feel like it.

Gatsy is worth about 2 million 🙀🙀🙀

I still wouldn’t. Or couldn’t.

It would be like knobbing lard.

And I have no right to be picky.

Gatsby 100% believes his own hype! He’s one of those men who thinks he should be with a 10/10 when he’s struggling to hit a 4/10!

Can’t stand clelia and Nicole, beyond irrelevant. If clelia isn’t crying she’s stood silent..boring!

Didn’t know Harry and frank had split, I’d read Bobby and his fella have. Saff is getting a lot of screen time this series, are they trying to use her to fill the GC gap?

@stillsomewhatsheldonesque

And couldn’t agree more about Gutsby.

Time for Mummy to summon him back to the States or wherever she went.

Flouncing about like a poundies Tony Manero. And in a Ken doll staying alive costume to boot.

An ad job beckons for I can’t believe he’s its not butter.

You might not believe it but you’d believe he would feel like it.

🤣🤣 mummy definitely needs to come and collect him. I feel myself tensing in utter cringe as soon as he appears that I just can't watch him anymore.

Cletus (I think that's what I will refer to as her now) seemed like she was waiting for a punch up. I don't think we've seen Nicole crack even a hint of a smile yet.

Oh that is a shame about Bobbybobbobs if that is true. Surely to god there won’t be a return to Harry now.

No surprise about Frankie n t’other Harry. All of that family tagging along in everything would be wearing.

You can just see them sat on the ottoman at the end of the bed giving a critique after each coupling.

I quite like Saff but I think she has too much to say about things that aren’t her business (Ella/Kelsey/LCB) sometimes.

I’m buggered if I would be boasting about being Queen of the crabs. It is like giving a big up for Being laden with the pox or celebrating a suppurating foof.

@Brieminewine

Gatsby 100% believes his own hype! He’s one of those men who thinks he should be with a 10/10 when he’s struggling to hit a 4/10!

Can’t stand clelia and Nicole, beyond irrelevant. If clelia isn’t crying she’s stood silent..boring!

Didn’t know Harry and frank had split, I’d read Bobby and his fella have. Saff is getting a lot of screen time this series, are they trying to use her to fill the GC gap?

I said last series she was the new gc

Hope Bobby hasn’t split :(

He says he has split blondes

Shame. It was nice seeing him all happy.

Plus for Saff though. No more lonely nights.

You would wonder how much bitching Yawnz did about Amber to Nichole for There to be so much beef.

Plus towie Years again

Last week was mark

This week e3 arg and e4 JOEY

I’m fast forwarding Joey Essex.

My remote is the nuts.

That was a song with Gemma and Charlie

Didn’t he end up being gay ?

I have a feeling he came out on this morning/some day time telly show but I am probably wrong.

I’m just astounded how badly the guys are coming across.

It meant nothing (but meant enough to pop me little man in it)

I was drunk.

Idiot. Mad. Nasty. Vicious. All thrown by JE (them apples haven’t fallen far from the Sims tree) to Sam. And then he says he was trying to be nice and hadn’t come for an argument.

I can’t understand why JAA and his gobbo best mate were followed by the girlies. What horrors.

I wonder how life would have been for Lauren if she’d taken the Dubai job.

Snog not song

And so many proposals

Mark Lauren
Lucy mario
Joey sam

None made it to marriage

I HATED Charlie. He was horrible to Gemma, Bobby, and Jasmine. He was a smug, patronising little twerp. Ricky was vile too. The men on this show really are bloody hideous.
I've never been a fan of Amber Turner but Nicole and Clelia are desperately trying to paint her as a villain. Nicole never smiles. She's miserable all the time and doesn't stop complaining. I'm not surprised Yaz spends more time with Amber.

Yaz and Amber have unfollowed eachother - whatever that means in real life. You chose wrong Yaz.

But LCB has this on their Twitter. I nearly broke myself.

Who put 50p in Nicola and cleliwho? Rolling on the floor laughing #TOWIE

Genius. Pure genius.

Curious it is said as Nicola (thought I’d heard wrong when Yaz called her that too) and it is coming out as NicHole for Twitter and the telly box.

No matter. She is a soorfaced hooer as we say up here.

Vilest rudest nastiest bitchiest Amber?

Jesus. Have ye looked at yourself Nicole? Clelia? When you talk it is just a mindless noise.

So away back to your potato printing lassies. You’ve both found your level there the pair of you.

And take Yaz with you because despite all the zen and happy clappyness claims, she is making it worse. And remind her to take her other face with her.

Amber hands down has a gob only her like me, but she is absolutely not to blame here.

The sistas are hoofing their great big beaks in other folks’ business again. And yet they don’t like it done back. Hmm.

The lip drills with all those fillers were never gonna happen.

And what is with all the fecking meowing? There was enough of that pish with the coven last week.

And Gutsby wants to dip his hand in his millions to pay for some acting lessons. The tantrum at winning/losing was painful.

Give it a rest Ella. Life isn’t all about you. Kelsey’s got enough on her plate as it is. Yet another one who is spending far too much time with the sistas.

No need for the spews either thanks.

Looking forward to Petite Pete’s declaration next week.

Bet he is going down on one knee.

To give mamasims his Cubans.

Gob on her like me that should have said...

Yah wants it all. Amber and Nicole

Not gonna happen

Surly pete won’t propose

Not sur show behind we are. Gues when we see Bobby cry we will know he’s split. Wonder why they did

Petit Pete has been a changed man since licking that sims. He so was more snidey but I guess the bitterness rubs off. Like on a poisoned toad.

Dan and amber need to take a step back from them. With all the beef he got from those two though, I’d laugh my lurks off if he started saying ‘at least I was with her when she could close her mouth’ or similar. But I’m a bastard.

I think Cletus and Nichole are the 2020s version of Mickey Love off the league of gentlemen. Except I enjoy watching Mickey Love and quite like him. Those two? Not so much.

What has stopped Cletus getting what she wants? Palling about with Nichole would do it...

Ohh. Bobbybobbobs looks like he may be considering a prenup. Wonder if that was the straw that broke the camel?

Aw. Diags did not fall far from his maw’s tree.

Oh fook off mamasims. You are making on that dan took advantage/lied/laid it on ye. Gie’s peace. Ye were bleating on that you loved him for aaaaaaages. I’m channelling my inner Maeva and I’m saying you are an exaggerating goat. Beh beh beeeeeeeeeheeeeeeehhhhh. Sake.

The tap dance. And the woman with the neck brace. Kept her jaw from dropping though.

And gutsby. Channelling elvis. The 1976 version. Quick someone hurry up and get him a pb, jelly and bacon monster butty. Might shut him up.

Aw Joe - fuck Ella off. She’s a tit. But Ella I hope you listened to Joe because his little self spoke sense.

The Positive Circle did not need an old foof hanging out in it. Take that how you will. It wasn’t positive for me.

Little Frank getting all heartfelt. SO WHAT WENT SO WRONG???

Petit Pete is a pussy. Or little kitten. Not owning that he has been bitching. He has gone right down in my opinion. Well about 12”of Cuban heel down.

It’s over for those bitches? Classy. Just as classy as walloping your lettuce around in public.

Oh is Dan digging Amber out next week. Get bent mate. Don’t take your mama pish out on her.