Sixy Tixting and Why I'm Still Single at Fifty: Rancid Trolls and Crappy Rapping, Skateboarding Sex Pests and Boys' Night Banter - How They Revived the Badger Badges Industry Worldwide . . .

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

This is, obviously, the proposed title for my thesis in support of my Diploma in Expertness . . .

Ellen is looking very uncomfortable

All those women you humped and dumped, Thumbface - that's how THEY felt, you scarmy bar-steward!

@NowYouListenToMeFella

Ellen is looking very uncomfortable

I cannot unsee it!

Poor Blair has been shafted by Sean AND the editing team, I keep forgetting she exists. Was she there last night? She doesn't look happy about Tracey and Sean at all

Omg someone needs to produce a phone so we can see these messages

Haha you're not such the innocent victim now are you, Trace?

Ooooh!

This is keeping communication going?

Swapping sixy tixts, and sending underwear piccies?

I want to see the texts, too!

So Tracey has just lost the moral high ground here hasn't she?!

Somewhat!

Talk about playing into DanviNa's hands - she'll be crooning

Think the swelling choral music might be a touch over the top here

She would walk through fire to make this work but she can't move to Perth?! Why not? She doesn't have kids like he does !

How, how have Sarah and Telv not worked. Not a single solitary couple are still together by the sounds of it.

Schaden and Rinder ye will surely do a better job. Picking couples out of a hat might have better odds than the Aussie ixperts

Well - that was pretty vomit-making.

And I feel very sorry for Blair. Poor girl might as well not have been there.

@SchadenfreudePersonified

And I feel very sorry for Blair. Poor girl might as well not have been there.

On the plus side she can probably potter around wherever she lives and not be recognised.

Right, now I can go and read all the gossip columns without fear of spoilers!!

@NowYouListenToMeFella

Schaden and Rinder ye will surely do a better job. Picking couples out of a hat might have better odds than the Aussie ixperts

Oh we use much more sophisticated methods than that, don't we Rinder

We use SCIENCE and PSYCHOLOGY and SCIENTIFIC PSYCHOLOGY and PSYCHOLOGOCAL SCIENCE

[PM to RINDER - Private and Confidential - Help me out here, Rind]

Apparently Ryan does standup?! I would watch that!

@riotlady

Right, now I can go and read all the gossip columns without fear of spoilers!!

I think the producers have responsibility to do programmes at 3 month intervals for the rest of the contestants' lives, so we can all see what's happening

""My sexuality is a private matter," Nasser told Woman's Day during a visit to New Zealand in May. "I'm still looking for a woman, but maybe you could say I'm dabbling. I live in a gay community, and I love that my neighbours bake me scones and give me the best perfume advice. If people are going to say I'm gay, so be it.""

WE KNEW IT

www.nowtolove.co.nz/celebrity/mafs/mafs-australia-2018-stars-where-are-they-now-38504 (spoilers, obv)

"Dean says God helped steer him in the right direction when it came to his notorious partner-swapping scandal with co-star Davina Rankin.
"I took guidance from Him about what the right thing to do was – and he said it was to stay with Tracey," says Dean.
"That's a big reason why I stayed, to try and make it work.""

... sure dude

Hi everyone - what an episode! We're emotionally wrung out from all the excitement and the horror of a HUGE spider appearing in the sitting room and then hiding 😱
Omg, Troy and Carly doing their Laverne and Shirley montage??? That was genuinely horrendous. Her stroking his hairy chest and his hand disappearing under the covers? I bet Mortricia was getting professionally excited at that little treat! I finally, finally give up my Troy badge. I am keeping my badger one though for posterity.
What are we going to do now? I'm going to miss you guys so much if we disband

@riotlady

"Dean says God helped steer him in the right direction when it came to his notorious partner-swapping scandal with co-star Davina Rankin. "I took guidance from Him about what the right thing to do was – and he said it was to stay with Tracey," says Dean. "That's a big reason why I stayed, to try and make it work.""

... sure dude

I thought God was a bit dubious about coveting the neighbour's wife, Dean What a tool. And I mean that with love and peace.

*thy! Stupid autocarrot.