Neighbours - off with Jacks head, the well is too good for him

[SleepingStandingUp]

Here

Summer Bay is like Baghdad compared with Erinsborough where the most heinous crimes are shoebecueing and spunk theft.

Oh and Pauly done some murders but he's misunderstood.

Mornings you forgot Tyler and his crimes against hair. Oh and the more minor issue of murdering Hamish.

Also, after Mumbles and Tiny Tanaka got it awn, did anyone else realise they’d been assuming that Leo and David slept in bunk beds in a kids room that opens off the living room in the penthouse. I mean, I know that Paul had knocked through into another flat or something (which makes no sense as I thought that the point of a penthouse was that it took up the whole of the top floor of the building, hence the exclusivity and personal lift etc) but in my mind they had some sort of ‘recapturing their missed childhood with Paul’ room with bunk beds and robot wallpaper and funky toy storage.

Oh and the more minor issue of murdering Hamish

It had slipped my mind, overshadowed by the hair.

I'm surprised Tiny and Mumbles didn't start another Lassiters fire by rubbing their wooden bits together. In fairness they're being praised by the Pink Times for doing proper, full-on kissing instead of a chaste Aaron Brennan peck on the cheek.

Yeh, Tiny Tanaka is whiny and wooden but he has at least elevated the portrayal of gay men’s relationships beyond the awkward bro hugs and cheek kissing of the Chris/Nate/Aaron days!

I do NOT understand why anyone is attracted to tiny Tanaka, he is so ridiculous in every single way.

Maybe his penis is disproportionately huge

Like Pinocchio's nose.

😂 nepotism makes it grow bigger

Surely Mumbles and Tiny can’t be a long term thing? I’m not sure I can cope with endless scenes with Tiny yapping away and Mumbles looking confused.

Tiny only does well because of the strict ‘2 gays, plus a nurse from Erinsborough hospital to cause trouble’ rule.

I'm finding the endless gay snogs a bit irritating now. Seven year old Dgs was half-watching last week, and said, "It's all just men kissin', i'nt it?"

I want Izzy to not be pregnant and piss off, I’m not sure that’s going to happen … far too over invested

Did everyone else interpret that as she's pregnant? Poor Susan, she was so convincing driving in tears.

I reckon Susan was crying because she knew what time the stick peeing was and Duffus was a mix of relieved and gutted.

Honestly a. Isnt it too early to check? b. How effectively can you pour a tub or sperm into your own vagina in the confines of a small hotel bathroom c. Who actually waits 3 minutes???

They also do it on the advert, so must be true

So, verdict, pregnant or not?

I'm voting pregnant but loses it later on.

Voting not pregnant but they will drag it out over a whole episode making it look as if she is. And that ridiculous storyline where Izzy has gone from having forty one million to being penniless in one hour!

Well she was lawyered by Toadie!

Toady really must be some kind of superlawyer given that he has managed to draft a document disposing of a multimillion dollar contentious probate issue in another jurisdiction in the space of an afternoon, much of which was spent gossiping with the (admittedly fairly invested) neighbours or striding purposefully into hotel rooms (by the way I’m sure he called Izzy ‘Elly’ by mistake). Said document was apparently so unbelievably lawtastic and amazing that the lay client was bowled over by it to the extent that she now wants him to work for in her gazillion dollar business despite only looking at it for precisely long enough to establish that a) he’d got the date right, and b) hadn’t written the whole thing in Comic Sans.

True!

I’m voting not pregnant by the way.

The overly devastated acting was clearly a Neighbours double bluff.

I don't get Ben is leaving. His girlfriend I'd stunning and he's clearly punching above his weight. He lives with a Grandmother who clearly needs at least one maturing man in the house (so not Karl then) and its ask for an apprenticeship to be a mechanic which are surely plentiful given Poirier are throwing them at him

Did Toady not even get naked for her? What's the world coming to?

If I were Ben my decision would be based solely on having Holly back in Erinsborough because I'd rather have her for a week than a fortnight.

I'm also voting not pregnant. Karl is so vain, im sure he'd have loved his super sperm to have knocked Izzy up. Don't forget with the neighbours time warp she'll be able to tell, if it's positive she'll prob have a scan next week!

Tiny Tanaka and mumbles getting it in was the least sexy thing I've ever seen, I could barely watch, it's was so wooden and uncomfortable!