Never Gonna Kyiv You Up: Grand Final Eurovision 2017

[SuffolkNWhat]

Welcome one and all to the Grand Final thread!

Put up a chair, grab your blue cocktail and join us for an evening of dancing gorillas and loads of red and white outfits.

The running order of the Grand Final of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest:

1. Israel: Eye Candy
2. Poland: First Aid Kit Dress
3. Belarus: Boat Wind Machine and Sticky Back Plastic Guitar
4. Austria: Lee Ryan in Dreamworks
5. Armenia: Hyundai Bollywood Dancers
6. The Netherlands: Talent Contest Rejects
7. Moldova: Epic Sax Guy Solo
8. Hungary: Sgt Pepper's Rapping Gypsies
9. Italy: Dancing Gorilla

10. Denmark: "Danish" Traitor with a Massive Gin and Red Dress 11. Portugal: Singing Werewolf in his Dad's Suit 12. Azerbaijan: Goth, Ladders and scary Horseman 13. Croatia: Go Compare Pavarotti Man 14. Australia: Bush don't come cheap, buy him some socks 15. Greece: Wet Underwear in a Paddling Pool 16. Spain 17. Norway: Darth Punk 18. United Kingdom: Whole Lotta Gold 19. Cyprus: Fair Isle Sequins and Gravity 20. Romania: Yodelling Taylor Swift and Her Massive Glittery Cannons 21. Germany: They really don't want to win 22. Ukraine 23. Belgium: All Alone in the Rabbit Headlight Zone 24. Sweden: TopMan ad. Too Frikkin Beautiful to be Dr Evil 25. Bulgaria: Bieber Untouchable Child 26. France: it'll be in French.

A huge thanks to RedToothBrush for the summaries on the last thread and GinSwigmore for the thread title.

It's Peter Andre! Actually Is he not Greek or Cypriot irl? He would be ideal for Eurovision!

Cyprus Sounds out of tune to me.

Europe won't be voting for UK

What is it with short trousers and no socks?

He can represent his home country of Australia and leave the UK alone thank you

Oh dear, it looks like Mr Cyprus had an accident in his pants. Let's hope it doesn't spill all over the stage.

I'd have laughed if they dropped him.

It is the Orange one but avoid the cheese being chucked at you if you suggest it

I like the UK entry a lot

Rag and Bone Man rip off!

Cyprus - best laugh I've had for ages. Make dancers...hilarious!

Peter Andre crossed with Chico

What is the cut off point where cropped jeans just bacons Capri pants?

His singing is flat
That's deliberate - it's the gravity .

The tune sounds like a danced up version of rag n bone mans human.

At least the lyrics make semse

Become not bacons!

I think Graham is being unfair to Cyprus, I don't think it will get forgotten after lucie, sadly, it is really quite catchy.

I think there is a serious sock shortage in Ukraine.

This guy i like not so much

Pesto

Intro is like Human.
That said, my other half played me a song very similar to the Belgian one today.
Looking forward to Sweden.
Do have a soft spot for Norway's kendo masked man though.

I like this. I feel dirty now as it's a bit mysoginstic. Spell corrected came up with 'my dogs instincts'!

Yodelling is coming!!!!