Never Gonna Kyiv You Up: Grand Final Eurovision 2017

[SuffolkNWhat]

Welcome one and all to the Grand Final thread!

Put up a chair, grab your blue cocktail and join us for an evening of dancing gorillas and loads of red and white outfits.

The running order of the Grand Final of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest:

1. Israel: Eye Candy
2. Poland: First Aid Kit Dress
3. Belarus: Boat Wind Machine and Sticky Back Plastic Guitar
4. Austria: Lee Ryan in Dreamworks
5. Armenia: Hyundai Bollywood Dancers
6. The Netherlands: Talent Contest Rejects
7. Moldova: Epic Sax Guy Solo
8. Hungary: Sgt Pepper's Rapping Gypsies
9. Italy: Dancing Gorilla

10. Denmark: "Danish" Traitor with a Massive Gin and Red Dress 11. Portugal: Singing Werewolf in his Dad's Suit 12. Azerbaijan: Goth, Ladders and scary Horseman 13. Croatia: Go Compare Pavarotti Man 14. Australia: Bush don't come cheap, buy him some socks 15. Greece: Wet Underwear in a Paddling Pool 16. Spain 17. Norway: Darth Punk 18. United Kingdom: Whole Lotta Gold 19. Cyprus: Fair Isle Sequins and Gravity 20. Romania: Yodelling Taylor Swift and Her Massive Glittery Cannons 21. Germany: They really don't want to win 22. Ukraine 23. Belgium: All Alone in the Rabbit Headlight Zone 24. Sweden: TopMan ad. Too Frikkin Beautiful to be Dr Evil 25. Bulgaria: Bieber Untouchable Child 26. France: it'll be in French.

A huge thanks to RedToothBrush for the summaries on the last thread and GinSwigmore for the thread title.

Hmmm not brilliant not that it matters coz nobody votes for us anyway

The sound seems muted

Love Lucy. Really beatiful.

Europe don't give up on the UK.

Please.

Those of us watching from the UK are the Europhiles.

This has got to be one of the best UK entries in a long while.

Nice voice, ok song, horrid dress - she looks like a ferrero Roche

We should win

Didn't this lass used to be on X Factor? Epic fail right from the off!

Hmm...she could've made an effort in the wardrobe department.

First impressions: I like her. The song is whiny.

She's better than your 2015 entry.

I can imagine her being better out of this setting.

The staging does look amazing.

I won't give up on EU

A bit screechy perhaps...?

Enjoying this song but have a feeling if if were anyone but the UK I'd be calling it boring!!

I can see this being a good song either as more rock or more Kate Bush.

Excuse my posts. My keyboard hates me, and the vodka has found it's spot.

It is a bit meandering, but i lie the tone of her voice, it's not a forced shouty Bond voice like some.

Even though I like the song, i think it would b better with a bit more of a dance beat behind it

She's emoting well

She has unfortunate facial expressions.

Well my dd's have just come through and are dancing to the UK entry. So a vote from them

Boring

"I won't give up on EU"

Great response from the crowd

Channeling Conchita Wurst. Pretty staging , singing is brilliant. Love it!

Well that isn't a winner! Nice try though...