Never Gonna Kyiv You Up: Grand Final Eurovision 2017

[SuffolkNWhat]

Welcome one and all to the Grand Final thread!

Put up a chair, grab your blue cocktail and join us for an evening of dancing gorillas and loads of red and white outfits.

The running order of the Grand Final of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest:

1. Israel: Eye Candy
2. Poland: First Aid Kit Dress
3. Belarus: Boat Wind Machine and Sticky Back Plastic Guitar
4. Austria: Lee Ryan in Dreamworks
5. Armenia: Hyundai Bollywood Dancers
6. The Netherlands: Talent Contest Rejects
7. Moldova: Epic Sax Guy Solo
8. Hungary: Sgt Pepper's Rapping Gypsies
9. Italy: Dancing Gorilla

10. Denmark: "Danish" Traitor with a Massive Gin and Red Dress 11. Portugal: Singing Werewolf in his Dad's Suit 12. Azerbaijan: Goth, Ladders and scary Horseman 13. Croatia: Go Compare Pavarotti Man 14. Australia: Bush don't come cheap, buy him some socks 15. Greece: Wet Underwear in a Paddling Pool 16. Spain 17. Norway: Darth Punk 18. United Kingdom: Whole Lotta Gold 19. Cyprus: Fair Isle Sequins and Gravity 20. Romania: Yodelling Taylor Swift and Her Massive Glittery Cannons 21. Germany: They really don't want to win 22. Ukraine 23. Belgium: All Alone in the Rabbit Headlight Zone 24. Sweden: TopMan ad. Too Frikkin Beautiful to be Dr Evil 25. Bulgaria: Bieber Untouchable Child 26. France: it'll be in French.

A huge thanks to RedToothBrush for the summaries on the last thread and GinSwigmore for the thread title.

Good luck, UK!

Followed by Romania I believe - do not have a look break whilst they are on

(i think this is where some countries get an ad break)

Can I just state now I am 50/50 British / German and torn already (as per usual)

the Scottish I wondered that too

Lweji, me too.It's the Eurovision effect!

Really hope everyone is able to calm themselves down after this hysterical sketch before Lucy goes on...

A loo break obs

Come on Lucy!

Oooh, v pretty

I do love this song regardless

Yay it's the UK come on Lucie do is proud

How do we vote?

I do thin she deserves to well. But I hope he doesn't do the claw hands.

Stop building it up Graham. We haven't a cat in hell's chance

I saw Lucie in RENT in October. Absolutely fantastic singer and actress. I hope she does well tonight :)

I do not like this song, it just doesn't go anywhere.

This years theme is diversity.

This is why virtually all the acts are white, the presenters are male and the Italians had a fucking gorilla.

Its the perfect thing for 2017.

Ohhhhh Poms it's ya girl

Here's UK, she was good on X factor, I hope she's in tune, I saw her rehearsal clip and it wasn't good.

Come on Lucy. I mean, we have no chance no matter how good the song obvs, but I hope she sings well

Nice to se Mans again.

I don't think we can vote for ourselves can we ?

Goldfinger?