Never Gonna Kyiv You Up: Grand Final Eurovision 2017

[SuffolkNWhat]

Welcome one and all to the Grand Final thread!

Put up a chair, grab your blue cocktail and join us for an evening of dancing gorillas and loads of red and white outfits.

The running order of the Grand Final of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest:

1. Israel: Eye Candy
2. Poland: First Aid Kit Dress
3. Belarus: Boat Wind Machine and Sticky Back Plastic Guitar
4. Austria: Lee Ryan in Dreamworks
5. Armenia: Hyundai Bollywood Dancers
6. The Netherlands: Talent Contest Rejects
7. Moldova: Epic Sax Guy Solo
8. Hungary: Sgt Pepper's Rapping Gypsies
9. Italy: Dancing Gorilla

10. Denmark: "Danish" Traitor with a Massive Gin and Red Dress 11. Portugal: Singing Werewolf in his Dad's Suit 12. Azerbaijan: Goth, Ladders and scary Horseman 13. Croatia: Go Compare Pavarotti Man 14. Australia: Bush don't come cheap, buy him some socks 15. Greece: Wet Underwear in a Paddling Pool 16. Spain 17. Norway: Darth Punk 18. United Kingdom: Whole Lotta Gold 19. Cyprus: Fair Isle Sequins and Gravity 20. Romania: Yodelling Taylor Swift and Her Massive Glittery Cannons 21. Germany: They really don't want to win 22. Ukraine 23. Belgium: All Alone in the Rabbit Headlight Zone 24. Sweden: TopMan ad. Too Frikkin Beautiful to be Dr Evil 25. Bulgaria: Bieber Untouchable Child 26. France: it'll be in French.

A huge thanks to RedToothBrush for the summaries on the last thread and GinSwigmore for the thread title.

All the Spanish singers look really short...

And somehow I ended up with some chocolate as well.
Dog is still out in the hall.

Those are some cheek bones.

Its the Spanish version of Busted.

I'm going to stick my neck out and predict this doesn't get into double figures.

EL Spanson!

It's Owen Wilson's younger brother!

I quite like Spain - reminds me of that 'heaven is a half pipe' song

Spain aren't in it for the win, then.

Do what exactly?

I'd like my lover to take out the bins personally

They are the love children of Busted & Hanson.

Not everyone in Italy is broke. A shop near me is selling tshirts for 2 year olds for 300 euros.

Loving 🇪🇸 Spain

What are we doing for our lovers?

Putting the bins out...

JUST PUT THE FUCKING BINS OUT

"El Spanson"

Quite jaunty, I don't mind this one.

Oh SHITTTTT that note

New depths now...do it for your lover

I'm not not sure waht we're supposed to be doing. it involves surf boards ?

Took a loo break. Sang about Paper again (shame that one didn't get through)
Jaysus Christ. The Spanish entry is cheese in ears awful.

A lot of non northern Spanish blokes are short.

Ooooh I'm liking Spain back atcha.

Drink for a wink on this one is going well

Dd: it's a little bit boring.

I quite liked the Greek song, in that it was very Eurovision.

This one, on the other hand is utter shite, in my humble opinion. It's like they're having a stab at being Bruno Mars and failing miserably.