Never Gonna Kyiv You Up: Grand Final Eurovision 2017

[SuffolkNWhat]

Welcome one and all to the Grand Final thread!

Put up a chair, grab your blue cocktail and join us for an evening of dancing gorillas and loads of red and white outfits.

The running order of the Grand Final of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest:

1. Israel: Eye Candy
2. Poland: First Aid Kit Dress
3. Belarus: Boat Wind Machine and Sticky Back Plastic Guitar
4. Austria: Lee Ryan in Dreamworks
5. Armenia: Hyundai Bollywood Dancers
6. The Netherlands: Talent Contest Rejects
7. Moldova: Epic Sax Guy Solo
8. Hungary: Sgt Pepper's Rapping Gypsies
9. Italy: Dancing Gorilla

10. Denmark: "Danish" Traitor with a Massive Gin and Red Dress 11. Portugal: Singing Werewolf in his Dad's Suit 12. Azerbaijan: Goth, Ladders and scary Horseman 13. Croatia: Go Compare Pavarotti Man 14. Australia: Bush don't come cheap, buy him some socks 15. Greece: Wet Underwear in a Paddling Pool 16. Spain 17. Norway: Darth Punk 18. United Kingdom: Whole Lotta Gold 19. Cyprus: Fair Isle Sequins and Gravity 20. Romania: Yodelling Taylor Swift and Her Massive Glittery Cannons 21. Germany: They really don't want to win 22. Ukraine 23. Belgium: All Alone in the Rabbit Headlight Zone 24. Sweden: TopMan ad. Too Frikkin Beautiful to be Dr Evil 25. Bulgaria: Bieber Untouchable Child 26. France: it'll be in French.

A huge thanks to RedToothBrush for the summaries on the last thread and GinSwigmore for the thread title.

Is she having a personal moment on that box?

Already better than the others..

Azerbaijan's Sia

Thought Fanta had got a cheeky little advert in then until she moved hah

amazed by thorn jeans????

Oh Lordy, Azerbaijan is a gcse art installation... and the horse man is terrifying 😱

It is fortunately still quite light. And I am still quite sober. Because that horse is fucking scary.

I don't like this one.

Oh um no

The horse up the ladder is freaking me out.

Azerbaijan could have added Sasha Baron Cohen.

Actually, it sounds a bit Madonna.

Well this is.... disturbing.

surrounded by thorn jeans?

wtf ? I don't get the lyrics.

First we have gorilla dancing now we have a horse on a ladder only on eurovision

It does remind me of A level Theatre Studies, we did a lot of Kafka inspired shit

And I so wanted them to set fire to the ladders

Man in horses head!!! She's dh's idea of a pervy, goth school teacher. He's just said this is his favourite.

Don't forget the rats. :)

At last one that is more music than fingernails down a blackboard.
Ds and I are scoring on the app, he keeps giving ten to the ones I've given a zero or one to so all his favourites are winning.

This is odd. Not in a good way.

Strange couldn't understand her then I put the subtitles on and suddenly could here the English, is there a way to get the English subtitles of foreign songs?

Is this a song that made sense in its original language??

Man with horse head on a ladder? WTF?

Snigger. The ladder, the horse!!!

Did no-one tell Azerbaijan's raincoat flashers that you are supposed to be naked under your raincoat?

The inflatable smiley monkeys make it all less scary.