Never Gonna Kyiv You Up: Grand Final Eurovision 2017

[SuffolkNWhat]

Welcome one and all to the Grand Final thread!

Put up a chair, grab your blue cocktail and join us for an evening of dancing gorillas and loads of red and white outfits.

The running order of the Grand Final of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest:

1. Israel: Eye Candy
2. Poland: First Aid Kit Dress
3. Belarus: Boat Wind Machine and Sticky Back Plastic Guitar
4. Austria: Lee Ryan in Dreamworks
5. Armenia: Hyundai Bollywood Dancers
6. The Netherlands: Talent Contest Rejects
7. Moldova: Epic Sax Guy Solo
8. Hungary: Sgt Pepper's Rapping Gypsies
9. Italy: Dancing Gorilla

10. Denmark: "Danish" Traitor with a Massive Gin and Red Dress 11. Portugal: Singing Werewolf in his Dad's Suit 12. Azerbaijan: Goth, Ladders and scary Horseman 13. Croatia: Go Compare Pavarotti Man 14. Australia: Bush don't come cheap, buy him some socks 15. Greece: Wet Underwear in a Paddling Pool 16. Spain 17. Norway: Darth Punk 18. United Kingdom: Whole Lotta Gold 19. Cyprus: Fair Isle Sequins and Gravity 20. Romania: Yodelling Taylor Swift and Her Massive Glittery Cannons 21. Germany: They really don't want to win 22. Ukraine 23. Belgium: All Alone in the Rabbit Headlight Zone 24. Sweden: TopMan ad. Too Frikkin Beautiful to be Dr Evil 25. Bulgaria: Bieber Untouchable Child 26. France: it'll be in French.

A huge thanks to RedToothBrush for the summaries on the last thread and GinSwigmore for the thread title.

Daughter just gave me the "WTF" face

Oh. Shut your eyes and Portugal is sn old woman singing - Edith from allo also maybe?

No, he definitely represented Ireland.

This isn't good time for
Loo break

miming Ratatouille Rat

You are not wrong.

He looks like he woke up in a skip this morning

Is!!

Oh, she is Australian born to Danish parents. I could have sworn they said Austrian in semi finals.

This will win won't it.

West Side Story in Portuguese. But at least no ballad/shite in English.

Not sure what he's doing with his hands mind.

And Anja Nissen is def Australian. She lives down the road from my cousin, literally.

Oooh I've found you. I LOVED MOLDOVA!!!

I must be going deaf coz I cant hear this bugger.

He's a bit like a drunk tramp who's lost his shoes.

Sounds like a lullaby in a Disney film to me. It's quite quiet.

Just need to get to half time for a patented Suffolk fag break yes I say every year I'll give up

Hellohello! Late to the party. May I join in? Have just surprised myself by loving Portugal. Such a lovely, old-fashioned voice.

Not loving Portugal. Denmark too hungry- looking - like a vampire.

So much better if you're not watching him. Portuguese is so beautiful.

celine dijon once upon a time started for swizerland.

Sounds like a lullaby in a Disney film to me.

Funny you should mention that.

There's a clip somewhere.

Oh turin sorry didn't mean to outright contradict you!!

My dutch friend loves it... says its 'honest'