Never Gonna Kyiv You Up: Grand Final Eurovision 2017

[SuffolkNWhat]

Welcome one and all to the Grand Final thread!

Put up a chair, grab your blue cocktail and join us for an evening of dancing gorillas and loads of red and white outfits.

The running order of the Grand Final of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest:

1. Israel: Eye Candy
2. Poland: First Aid Kit Dress
3. Belarus: Boat Wind Machine and Sticky Back Plastic Guitar
4. Austria: Lee Ryan in Dreamworks
5. Armenia: Hyundai Bollywood Dancers
6. The Netherlands: Talent Contest Rejects
7. Moldova: Epic Sax Guy Solo
8. Hungary: Sgt Pepper's Rapping Gypsies
9. Italy: Dancing Gorilla

10. Denmark: "Danish" Traitor with a Massive Gin and Red Dress 11. Portugal: Singing Werewolf in his Dad's Suit 12. Azerbaijan: Goth, Ladders and scary Horseman 13. Croatia: Go Compare Pavarotti Man 14. Australia: Bush don't come cheap, buy him some socks 15. Greece: Wet Underwear in a Paddling Pool 16. Spain 17. Norway: Darth Punk 18. United Kingdom: Whole Lotta Gold 19. Cyprus: Fair Isle Sequins and Gravity 20. Romania: Yodelling Taylor Swift and Her Massive Glittery Cannons 21. Germany: They really don't want to win 22. Ukraine 23. Belgium: All Alone in the Rabbit Headlight Zone 24. Sweden: TopMan ad. Too Frikkin Beautiful to be Dr Evil 25. Bulgaria: Bieber Untouchable Child 26. France: it'll be in French.

A huge thanks to RedToothBrush for the summaries on the last thread and GinSwigmore for the thread title.

It was either monochrome or red in the semis.

Luckily the U.K. have stuck a middle finger up at that and gone for gold.

Isn't it cheating that they've got an Australian representing Denmark?

Don't beg. It's not classy.

Super can ye send one to Ireland?

Is it me or is this just boring?

Well she has some lungs I give her that

Boring.

Typical Eurovision big ballad. At least she's not wearing black.

She's Autrian not Australian Draylon.

Denmark is dull 😴

Just pick a note and stick to it. Any note will do.

The Danish Aussie.

Mind you, we can't say anything- Katrina (and the waves) was American. And wasn't Gina G an Aussie?

You're in Ukraine, love.

Now, the best song ever.

Come in Portugal!!!!

That was bland but my daughter liked it

Isn't it cheating that they've got an Australian representing Denmark?

Nope.

Jane

We sent Johnny Logan twice and he wrote the winning song another time! You can wait your turn now.

Johnny Logan sang for England and Ireland.

Just described this to DH as Remy from Ratatouille in a suit

I thought they said the other day she was Australian?

Oooh Portugal. The miming Ratatouille Rat

He's a bit odd. I know.

Is he the one that was ill?

At least Portugal can hold a note

its the incomprehensibly popular rat werewolf man

Suffolk that's so accurate!