Never Gonna Kyiv You Up: Grand Final Eurovision 2017

[SuffolkNWhat]

Welcome one and all to the Grand Final thread!

Put up a chair, grab your blue cocktail and join us for an evening of dancing gorillas and loads of red and white outfits.

The running order of the Grand Final of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest:

1. Israel: Eye Candy
2. Poland: First Aid Kit Dress
3. Belarus: Boat Wind Machine and Sticky Back Plastic Guitar
4. Austria: Lee Ryan in Dreamworks
5. Armenia: Hyundai Bollywood Dancers
6. The Netherlands: Talent Contest Rejects
7. Moldova: Epic Sax Guy Solo
8. Hungary: Sgt Pepper's Rapping Gypsies
9. Italy: Dancing Gorilla

10. Denmark: "Danish" Traitor with a Massive Gin and Red Dress 11. Portugal: Singing Werewolf in his Dad's Suit 12. Azerbaijan: Goth, Ladders and scary Horseman 13. Croatia: Go Compare Pavarotti Man 14. Australia: Bush don't come cheap, buy him some socks 15. Greece: Wet Underwear in a Paddling Pool 16. Spain 17. Norway: Darth Punk 18. United Kingdom: Whole Lotta Gold 19. Cyprus: Fair Isle Sequins and Gravity 20. Romania: Yodelling Taylor Swift and Her Massive Glittery Cannons 21. Germany: They really don't want to win 22. Ukraine 23. Belgium: All Alone in the Rabbit Headlight Zone 24. Sweden: TopMan ad. Too Frikkin Beautiful to be Dr Evil 25. Bulgaria: Bieber Untouchable Child 26. France: it'll be in French.

A huge thanks to RedToothBrush for the summaries on the last thread and GinSwigmore for the thread title.

5 points on the app just for the dancing gorilla from the kids

Here comes tits and teeth

She's like Anneka Rice.

Carseat covers,!

Well we liked it! But we have been singing it for weeks - it grows on you!

Suffolk

At least it's not a ballad

Yes, there is that.

Like this shit.

The only thing i heard was 'sex appeal' which he has none of

Oh look it's Australia Part 2.

She was better in the semi?

Anna kornokova.

I think the gorilla was supposed to represent human evolution? WTAF?
If the result was the singer in that costume...

Can't understand a word

It's gone double platinum over Europe apparently.

Oh look - a red dress. Did she not get the memo about the monochrome theme?

Because she can speak English?

Hair like a Timoteo as.

You're in Ukraine, love.

Yep. We've started planting people in other countries to up our chance of winning.

What app are you looking at?

A gorilla will can only improve this performance.

double platinum

Really? Surely you mean the hair?

This is teeth and boobs and that's as interesting as it gets.

Not very feminist.

Shouty.