Never Gonna Kyiv You Up: Grand Final Eurovision 2017

[SuffolkNWhat]

Welcome one and all to the Grand Final thread!

Put up a chair, grab your blue cocktail and join us for an evening of dancing gorillas and loads of red and white outfits.

The running order of the Grand Final of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest:

1. Israel: Eye Candy
2. Poland: First Aid Kit Dress
3. Belarus: Boat Wind Machine and Sticky Back Plastic Guitar
4. Austria: Lee Ryan in Dreamworks
5. Armenia: Hyundai Bollywood Dancers
6. The Netherlands: Talent Contest Rejects
7. Moldova: Epic Sax Guy Solo
8. Hungary: Sgt Pepper's Rapping Gypsies
9. Italy: Dancing Gorilla

10. Denmark: "Danish" Traitor with a Massive Gin and Red Dress 11. Portugal: Singing Werewolf in his Dad's Suit 12. Azerbaijan: Goth, Ladders and scary Horseman 13. Croatia: Go Compare Pavarotti Man 14. Australia: Bush don't come cheap, buy him some socks 15. Greece: Wet Underwear in a Paddling Pool 16. Spain 17. Norway: Darth Punk 18. United Kingdom: Whole Lotta Gold 19. Cyprus: Fair Isle Sequins and Gravity 20. Romania: Yodelling Taylor Swift and Her Massive Glittery Cannons 21. Germany: They really don't want to win 22. Ukraine 23. Belgium: All Alone in the Rabbit Headlight Zone 24. Sweden: TopMan ad. Too Frikkin Beautiful to be Dr Evil 25. Bulgaria: Bieber Untouchable Child 26. France: it'll be in French.

A huge thanks to RedToothBrush for the summaries on the last thread and GinSwigmore for the thread title.

Is he singing in English, Italian or both?

I think they tipped themselves to win.

Whaaaat?

The wiggles are doing back up!!!

Ha ha! Dd said the same!

Wait. This was supposed to be a favourite? He looks like a bad gigolo.

Was about to say Hungrynsounded quite Bollywood, and then he started rapping!

Italy reminds me of the Bucks Fizz type of Eurovision song.

Fuck.

Got distracted on the dog thread.
Is that a gorilla onstage?

Well at least it's not a ballad

Id say this is very eurovision - reasonably catchy, gimmick, dance, crowd singing along

I love this. A gorilla, wtf?

Well the audience seem to love it.

BUT WHY!?

WHY A FUCKING GORILLA?!

Also checked out the Italian's English translation - it's no more comprehensible.

All I can think is how hot the guy in the gorilla outfit must be

Doh. Julie Andrews not Mary Poppins. Ah, here comes Italy. Me likely. I know, I know but c'mon. A . Dancing. Gorilla.
Seeing as this has gone platinum, is it not a shoe-in?

The audience obv has no taste.

That's a shot downed for the guy in the gorilla suit 😂😂

I want a blow up monkey.

A bit of cultural appropriation...

thats the worst gorilla costume I've ever seen.

Car seat covers !

It's got that everyone, feel good factor thing to appeal to the voters.