Never Gonna Kyiv You Up: Grand Final Eurovision 2017

[SuffolkNWhat]

Welcome one and all to the Grand Final thread!

Put up a chair, grab your blue cocktail and join us for an evening of dancing gorillas and loads of red and white outfits.

The running order of the Grand Final of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest:

1. Israel: Eye Candy
2. Poland: First Aid Kit Dress
3. Belarus: Boat Wind Machine and Sticky Back Plastic Guitar
4. Austria: Lee Ryan in Dreamworks
5. Armenia: Hyundai Bollywood Dancers
6. The Netherlands: Talent Contest Rejects
7. Moldova: Epic Sax Guy Solo
8. Hungary: Sgt Pepper's Rapping Gypsies
9. Italy: Dancing Gorilla

10. Denmark: "Danish" Traitor with a Massive Gin and Red Dress 11. Portugal: Singing Werewolf in his Dad's Suit 12. Azerbaijan: Goth, Ladders and scary Horseman 13. Croatia: Go Compare Pavarotti Man 14. Australia: Bush don't come cheap, buy him some socks 15. Greece: Wet Underwear in a Paddling Pool 16. Spain 17. Norway: Darth Punk 18. United Kingdom: Whole Lotta Gold 19. Cyprus: Fair Isle Sequins and Gravity 20. Romania: Yodelling Taylor Swift and Her Massive Glittery Cannons 21. Germany: They really don't want to win 22. Ukraine 23. Belgium: All Alone in the Rabbit Headlight Zone 24. Sweden: TopMan ad. Too Frikkin Beautiful to be Dr Evil 25. Bulgaria: Bieber Untouchable Child 26. France: it'll be in French.

A huge thanks to RedToothBrush for the summaries on the last thread and GinSwigmore for the thread title.

Wilson Philips.

Oh look I'm not the only one.

It's quite funny to read these threads back when sober hungover the next day

Auto cucumbers? Are there manual ones?

Hold on for one more day.....

I hate everything about this one.

I hope Juncker's not watching.

So much for the diminishing role of English. All but one songs so far in some version of English.

You couldn't sing along to this because I couldn't tell what the tune really was!

The audience seems to be a bit more lively tonight than it was previously.

I miss Ulrika on this. She was so good, with her barbed comments.

This was... planned...

Any hosts will seem shit after Sweden last year

I loved the Netherlands! DH thinks I'm.mad and I appear to be the only on here who likes them too. Oh well, so far they've got my vote!

I noted that as well Rhubarb very hard to follow, and it won't be the last one of such.

Bring back the singing - the hosts are dire.

I'm surprised they didn't all fall over like dominoes.

Lets go to the fans, what could possibly go wrong...

Wow the difference in sense of humour

I like the idea of an auto cucumber actually, would that be a cumcumber

Omg my favourites Moldova are up!!!!

Oh here's Moldova! Let's have some fun.

WOOOOOOOOO MOLDOVA.

time for the chicken dance!

Let's talk about sax baby