Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Would you let your 14yr old wear thongs?

119 replies

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 15/11/2025 20:34

I don’t want to, but I noticed last week when she was getting out of the car that when she’s wearing leggings, she is wearing her knickers wedged up her bum so as not to have a VPL, and it looks ridiculous as you can see the fabric bunched up at the top of her bum. She hasn’t asked for thongs but I’d rather she be comfortable, it can’t be comfy walking around with your knickers wedged up your bum all day! There’s no point telling her not to do it as she’d just put it back as soon as she was able to. Teenagers 🙄

On the one hand I’m like, “Thongs at 14?? No way!”
But on the other hand… it’s just knickers and no-one should be seeing them so it shouldn’t matter.
But still, 14 😬

OP posts:
veryunsure2025 · 15/11/2025 20:35

I really don't think it's a big deal, she may or may not want to wear thongs but you could ask if you want to and see what she thinks?

fruitbrewhaha · 15/11/2025 20:35

Yeah, mine did. She bought them herself on a shopping trip with friends.

Rosesanddaffs · 15/11/2025 20:36

I think 14 is too young and thongs aren’t comfortable.

I prefer my granny pants and don’t care who sees them 😂

AmyDuPlantier · 15/11/2025 20:37

They’re just pants 🤷‍♀️ why on earth would it matter, and what is ‘too young’ for a style of pants if she finds them comfortable?

Sprig1 · 15/11/2025 20:37

Why on earth wouldn't you? I only wear thongs as they are the most comfy shape knickers for my shape bum.

MrsApplepants · 15/11/2025 20:37

I think fine, they’re just knickers. Buy some plain cotton ones for her.

GotSomeChipsAhoyIfYoureHungry · 15/11/2025 20:38

I've been wearing them since I was 13. I prefer them. I hate the feeling of chunky underwear and always have done. Can't feel them, they're not uncomfortable unless you buy ones too small. Let her, she can have autonomy on what underwear she feels comfortable in!

Whatabouterytoutery · 15/11/2025 20:40

My DD bought herself some at 15. She was all about boy shorts before then. I have never thought about it for 5 seconds. However I wouldn’t have been suggesting what underwear she should choose because she is obviously going to have her own personal feelings on underwear.

Greenwitchart · 15/11/2025 20:40

Thongs are hideous, uncomfortable and vulgar.

No idea why a 14 year old would need to wear them.

I think the people who are posted to say this is fine should remember that they are supposed to be parents, not friends to their kids.

OP you are perfectly right to want to tell her that this not appropriate for her.

tinaabbot · 15/11/2025 20:41

I either wear thongs or boy shorts type, anything else is uncomfortable. Buy her some thongs to wear under leggings.
When you think about, is it not more modest than advertising the shape of your pants? 😆

Original poster
AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 15/11/2025 20:43

Greenwitchart · 15/11/2025 20:40

Thongs are hideous, uncomfortable and vulgar.

No idea why a 14 year old would need to wear them.

I think the people who are posted to say this is fine should remember that they are supposed to be parents, not friends to their kids.

OP you are perfectly right to want to tell her that this not appropriate for her.

Yeah but surely wearing her full coverage knickers yanked up her bum crack is more uncomfortable than a thong that’s made for it? She’s not going to pay the slightest bit of attention if I tell her not give herself a wedgie, realistically.

OP posts:
Whatabouterytoutery · 15/11/2025 20:44

I think the people who are posted to say this is fine should remember that they are supposed to be parents, not friends to their kids.

You do you but I’m a parent to pretty successful by any standards adults and teens and I have never been anything but their parent (not their friend) but dictating their underwear is not really a necessary part of my job. Our way is tried and tested and definitely works as I’m sure yours does for you.

TalulahJP · 15/11/2025 20:45

There was some scientific thing done which proved that there was more bacteria on a thong, because it’s up your crack presumably more than other styles of pants, and that the bacteria could migrate causing uti infections.

For that reason i tend not to wear thongs!
And if I had a 14 year old daughter I’d tell her that too, but if she decides to bunch her pants up her crack that’ll cause it too, so if she wanted a thong for wearing wirh certain clothes I’d consider it but all clothing these days is far too sexualised at the best of times and health is more important than fashion.…

Beekman · 15/11/2025 20:45

Why are thongs vulgar?

SparklyBlueDress · 15/11/2025 20:48

Mine has a bottom that gobbles up normal pants and so finds thongs much more comfy. I’m pretty strict about lots of things but underwear that no one is going to see is not a hill I’m going to die on.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 15/11/2025 20:48

Greenwitchart · 15/11/2025 20:40

Thongs are hideous, uncomfortable and vulgar.

No idea why a 14 year old would need to wear them.

I think the people who are posted to say this is fine should remember that they are supposed to be parents, not friends to their kids.

OP you are perfectly right to want to tell her that this not appropriate for her.

Why isn’t it appropriate - it’s just a form of underwear?

LarryIsMyRomanEmpire · 15/11/2025 20:50

Yes, it's a thong, nothing to get worked up about.

Sesame2011 · 15/11/2025 20:51

Yes I would, and I started wearing them at 14 too.

Those who say no because they are uncomfortable, fair enough they are uncomfortable to you but anything other than a thong is uncomfortable to me!

OP, ask her and buy some plain cotton ones (i like m&s). Don't do what my parents did and ignore it until I bought myself a a red lacy one from Topshop 😂

MyAcornWood · 15/11/2025 20:51

They’re just pants 🤷🏼‍♀️ personally I despise the feeling of full pants and only ever wear thongs, have done for many years, probably a similar age when I started. I find it so weird when people give a blanket ‘they’re uncomfortable!’ statement… well for you, maybe, but not for everyone. It’s not a big deal!

Seawolves · 15/11/2025 20:54

I did with my 14 year old, she grew up to be a decent human being so the vulgarity of them didn't affect her too much.

TippledPink · 15/11/2025 20:54

I wore them at that age- my girls also did. They are well rounded individuals who I get complimented on regularly. There was no conversation about it though they just bought their own from Primark.

Personally I can't wear them now too uncomfortable!

Otterdrunk · 15/11/2025 20:58

Invisible No VPL Brazilian Knickers from M&S might be worth a try? They’re super soft & thin so pretty much invisible. Plain & in neutral colours. If your bum is bigger h’ever, the lack of elastic means they can ride up a bit. It’s still more comfortable than wearing a thong or having thicker pants doing a wedgie though. But being young your DD might not have this trouble!

veryunsure2025 · 15/11/2025 21:00

Why cant a parent suggest some better fitting underwear to a child? I don't often tell my friends to wear thongs

Agree I wear the seamless ones from M&S and have no issues with comfort

tattychicken · 15/11/2025 21:14

Having spent most of my adult years riding and playing rugby, I found thongs the most comfy and most practical. They don't rub, they don't wrinkle, they don't fall down. Now I'm older I do wear granny knickers but my teenage daughters who are very active have worn thongs for years. They're not sexy or vulgar, they are a practical pair of pants. If you don't like them, don't wear them.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/11/2025 21:15

My dd bought herself some at about this age. And it seems they all bought them at this age and not to attract a bf/gf.