Support thread for parents of multiple teenagers.

[alistron1]

I have 3 teenagers, they are 13 (boy) 14.5 (girl) and 15.5 (girl) I shall mostly be talking about:

Food - how much do they sodding eat?

The fact that they are sullen introverted beasts whenever you want to go somewhere or do something - but as SOON as you sit down to watch something that YOU would like to see on YOUR tv they rock up and witter at you nonstop about various fascinating topics ( "Have you heard about X who's got this amazing youtube channel, it's hilarious..." "You know my friends neighbours aunts cousins daughter, well she....." "I made this awesome axe on minecraft....")

The constant sneering derision about my life/clothes/interests but if my stuff isn't nailed down it gets 'borrowed'.

The many and varied prima donna moments over the most trivial of things " Where are the black tights, I HATE you, you're controlling and you've got me under house arrest..."

Their pits aka bedrooms aka health hazards

The fact that if I need a charger for something or my headphones they have been appropriated

And finally, that unlike toddlers they are in your face until nearly bloody midnight!!

And with 3 of them there is a non stop caravan of hormones, drama, requests for cash, hormones, tantrums, hormones.

I think that's about it for now.

Yeah, I think you've got it covered :o

Only boys here so none of the drama. However the fascinating minecraft axe/ you-tube channel I feel your pain. Oh and the food. The constant snacking and fixation on when the next meal will be.

Yip, sounds just like here.

Food just melts away in minutes here.

The state of the bathroom

When you do the laundry and come across loads of your clothes, all dirty. You have not worn them, DD has.

Where are all the towels? And teaspoons? And cups/glassses?

Oh yes, the disappearing crockery. I just love that. My daughters room is a magnet for it.

My favourite thing to do, when they annoy me, is to change the password on the wifi oh the weeping and wailing!!

Yes to the food! I genuinely could keep a small army with my weekly shop. They said cluster feeding was a phase... They lied (disclaimer: I am not still breast feeding!)

There are no glasses downstairs here too. Kirbies, hair gel, hair spray... my god.

And results day is coming up soon, so three of them are on pins.

What do they do with the cutlery?
Top tip: Asda smart price 16 piece cutlery
Set is under 2 pounds :-)

The shoes. Everywhere. Despite them taking them off at the door. How do they mutate so quickly?

Tea spoons? I think I've forgotten what they are!

The blindness to washing up and dirty clothes is impressive. "Have you brought all the dirty plates/clothes out of your room?" I ask optimistically. "Oh yes," I am assured. And then I have a look in there! And wonder when their next eye tests are due ...

glasses what do they do with them I suspect eat them or do science experiments with them , I have teen tension at the moment eldest is at the tail end of her teens but still pouts like a 14 yr old mixed with her 14 yr old sister it has been fraught today sigh

oh shoes my livingroom looks like barrats most days It doesnt matter how many times i tell them they dont move them, I once threw one across the room in temper after i fell over it she moved it then after loony mum exploded in

I've just had a strop at DD.

My beautifully deep-cleaned, fluffed-up-towel of wonder bathroom is now a war zone. It's like river island, boots and the body shop mutated, then exploded. There is a shoe? in the shower.

She's going out tonight if she lives that long

The mess - one of mine can drop her school bag literally in the middle of the sitting room doorway, and would apparently be happy to detour round it for ever rather than move it three feet to somewhere less intrusive.

The fact that they always run out of vital things, such as deodorant or tampons, the very evening of the day I've been shopping, apparently with no idea at all that such a thing could have been imminent.

I never have any cash any more - every time I get some out there are entirely valid but unexpected reasons why they need it all.

The assumption that any plans or commitments I may have are primarily arranged with the intention of interfering with any plans or commitments they may have, and may need driving to or picking up from.

And oh yes, I do agree re the triviality of their obsessions. And the randomness of their questions: "If you had magic trickling out of one of your orifices, which do you think it would be least disgusting for it to trickle out of?" (DD2, 14), or "How do you think Britain would be different today if Germany had won the last war?" (DD1, 17.) I don't know. I'm trying to write a shopping list or do the washing up.

They bleach all my beautiful deep purple towels with their spot cream.

No cheap kiddies meals when we go out any more. Not only are they on the best steak, DS1 has now started ordering off the wine list. Okay he is 20 now so not technically a teenager but it adds £££s to the final bill now they are no longer on soft drinks.

oh the food....

the towels...

the mess....

the coffee

and yes twostepsback the restaurant bills!! Dh and I went out the other day, bottle of wine, starters, mains, afters, no stinting but I thought they had forgotten to put half the stuff on the bill cos it's normally a fucking fortune.

Teaspoons ? I remember teaspoons.
I remember dishes too.
I think I had some teaplates once.

Squirrels - it's my ds who is the drama "queen", always has been, dd is MUCH calmer.

Not long ago I was unloading my trolley onto the conveyor belt at the supermarket (loads of litres of fruit juice coming out first) and the girl on the till asked me if I ran a cafe . 'twas only a week's supply for ds and his mates.

Oh yes, the mates......you have to feed the mates as well.

I was asked if we were having a party when buying the foodstuff for christmas

...i said yes, to save explaining, and dh said no, the assistant just looked at us.

@ Cats.

I bet the assistant thought you were going to have a domestic.

dd2 drops her school bag and P E bag just as she walks in the door and towels jeezus drive me insane, I am week 9 of dd 1s college holidays I am loosing the will to live now she is just hanging about like a bad smell

Red hair dye and the shower looks like a prop from Psycho.
Not lots of shoes, but huge and heavy boots.
Ability to eat own body weight on a daily basis.
Picking me up for a hug when I'm washing up with headphones in, just to make me jump.

Today one of mine had a strop....apparently I should consult her before I organise any family camping holiday as she is not a child and she has plans and so we will have to work around them. (I don't think so)

And we have NO food in the house (that she wants to eat)

Oh and the drama and gnashing of teeth when we ask her to come to the table for a meal, take her elbows of the table, eat with her mouth closed and wear clothes to the table in the first place (she has a huge wardrobe full, but prefers to wear her dressing gown.) Why does it matter and who cares, apparently. That would be Me and Me.

Child No. 2 is a hormonal wreck, on the cusp of teenager-hood. He is vile and argumentative one minute and desiring cuddles the next.

I love the teenage selfishness....you come down in the morning to make sandwiches for lunch and they've eaten all the ham and the cheese. Then the kick off because they don't want jam/marmite sandwiches (me neither!) and somehow I should know that they will raid the fridge at 11pm and somehow manage to drive to a 24hr shop overnight to get more ham/cheese, which they will no doubt eat for breakfast before I have time to make the sodding sandwiches.

I am a hideous mother until such time as they want money or they want a lift for them and their mates. HIDEOUS. Thats me.

A dressing gown? I'd love for there to be a dressing gown all year round instead of when the temperature plummets. I'm just pleased he wears pj bottoms now.

Oh, if you consume the last of something important and don't replace it, then you are booted out to buy it.
Especially if it's milk and I come home after work and can't have a cup of coffee. That only happened once, and they were amazed at the difference between a teenage strop and a full-on adult ragestorm. Oh Yes.

My towels. My beautiful Egyptian cotton towels. Covered in bloody Maybelline Great Lash. It is not coming off.