Support thread for parents of multiple teenagers.

[alistron1]

I have 3 teenagers, they are 13 (boy) 14.5 (girl) and 15.5 (girl) I shall mostly be talking about:

Food - how much do they sodding eat?

The fact that they are sullen introverted beasts whenever you want to go somewhere or do something - but as SOON as you sit down to watch something that YOU would like to see on YOUR tv they rock up and witter at you nonstop about various fascinating topics ( "Have you heard about X who's got this amazing youtube channel, it's hilarious..." "You know my friends neighbours aunts cousins daughter, well she....." "I made this awesome axe on minecraft....")

The constant sneering derision about my life/clothes/interests but if my stuff isn't nailed down it gets 'borrowed'.

The many and varied prima donna moments over the most trivial of things " Where are the black tights, I HATE you, you're controlling and you've got me under house arrest..."

Their pits aka bedrooms aka health hazards

The fact that if I need a charger for something or my headphones they have been appropriated

And finally, that unlike toddlers they are in your face until nearly bloody midnight!!

And with 3 of them there is a non stop caravan of hormones, drama, requests for cash, hormones, tantrums, hormones.

I think that's about it for now.

Abandoned horrid teens today- absolutely had enough of their tantrums interspersed with patronising lectures on how weird/middle aged/unlike every other mum in the world (except seemingly, you lot). Spent afternoon at beach, evening at pub, just booked into anonymous room for the night. Turned off wifi before I left and put away tv remotes.

Highly recommend this course of action.

Run away Mary!

It's only a one night run away. And the first in 19 years. Why are they so horrible when we love them so much.

I came home today to find

No milk, somehow 2 teens got through 4 pints of milk
4 wet towels on the bathroom floor, yes 4, for 2 people
A disgusting smell of lynx and some sickly sweet body shop body spray
Ghd straightners plugged in, left on, and abandoned

As soon as I walked in ds1 was whining about his fucking hollister hoody being covered in tissue and apparently ruined for life
Dd couldn't find her phone charger and her life was clearly over because her phone had died and she couldn't bbm anyone
The party they want to go to is now the worst place ever because they can't go to the same place??
And ds1 has a football tour BUT CAN'T FIND A BAG TO TAKE!!!!!

i don't care

leave me alone

You will always be wrong maryz
Always.

My dd swears blind I promised to upgrade her phone at the weekend.
She didn't even ask me.

But she went to DH this morning and said "mum promised to upgrade my phone but she has been too busy, can you please do it"
Like an idiot he upgrades the phone, pays £59 for it cos apparently I said that was ok and gets a more expensive contract.

And then rings me up and tells me after he had done it
And asked my why I forgot.
And refused to believe I hadn't actually forgot, she never flipping asked me in the first place.

But no, I am in the wrong.
FFS

I wish my dd was a cow. She could live in a field and I could take her hay now and then. That would be good.
Don't apologize Mary. I apologized to dd for bringing her up to be such a totally spoilt brat. Didn't help.

I have decided there is no point.

From now on, I will just nod my head. yes I'm a terrible mother no I don't care about you at all yes it's my fault your life is over yes it's a disgrace that all your friends are allowed out until 4am and you are not yes it's embarrassing that you have to be home at a decent time yes it's so sad that you are not allowed to have your tongue pierced no clearly I don't love you as I am not packing your bag for football

I think it may be easier than having to get a teenager to listen to a rational argument.

I am the worlds worst mother.

good

now we have agreed on that, you don't need to expect anything from me

now go away until you get a job

I say that. Ring Childline I beg, and explain your awful situation (at present caused by you dyeing your hair 3 times in two weeks which was obviously all my fault.)

At least I'm doing the parenting thing on my own with no heckling any more.

Does anyone else survey a fridge apparently still containing plenty of cartons of this and that, cupboard with plenty of cereal boxes, bathroom stocked with tampons, and head out shopping only to come home and find that the containers and boxes were all put back empty into the fridge and cupboards, like the set of an old western..

mathanxiety, I feel your pain. "She wont notice that we have eaten 27 penguin bars in less than 24 hours if we cunningly leave the empty packet in the cupboard."

My eldest is now a complete brat. SHe was grounded for a week after deliberately seeking out her brother and inflicting serious injury to his already injured arm. 14 fecking weeks of physio, hospital visits, Xrays, high dose pain killers etc....and she wrenches his arm behind his back.

So...day 3 of grounding - she sneaks out of the house at tea time, and buggers off to a friend to go to a teen night club. Her father phones her (he is away), says I should go get her (from 30 mins away). I decline - she got herself there, she must make her own way home. Plus other brother is out, so I cannot just leave the house.

She has no key to get in. She blags a lift from a friend who now has to make a 50 minute round trip journey to bring her home. She spins the tale about her unreasonable and uncaring mum to all her friends, making me look like the ugly step mother to her Cinderella.

I am so very pissed off.

oh oh oh...the empty packets

and this past week it's been Not Emptying The Dishwasher BUT Stack All Dirty Plates On The Top....because of course I am totally appreciative of the fact that we have not a single clean plate in the fucking house but at least they are all piled up.

Oh and forgetting to wash your filthy work clothes on friday and then arriving home on Sunday with a friend and shoving it in ahead of my bed linen that i want washed and dried before bedtime was not your best plan. And now the friend is actually a bit afraid of me, as he witnessed Catsmamma Going Off On One, whereas normally I am Nice Mamma of friend.

whoops!

AND btw where are all my teaspoons, i had sixteen that matched the rest of my cutlery, now I have one
And I bought a dozen super cheapo ones to replace them, I have three left

from twentyfuckingeight teaspoons I have four.

jesuswept.

and it is still exam result day, dd has a face like a slapped arse, i suppose I ought to be grateful she is up. ??

I have no teaspoons. None. At. All.

I also have 3 small plates out of 12 and 2 glasses. And 3 cups.

Where is all my crockery, you ask?

I have no idea. I know it is not in the dishwasher which apparently does not get used all day whilst I am at work. No, instead the dirty plates etc are piled on the counter.
I asked ds1 why he hadn't loaded the dishwasher.
He said because it was full of stuff
Yes, clean plates ds1, that's what's normally in there.
but I didn't know what to do with them

Really? REALLY?
It's your job during term time to unload the dishwasher before school. But now it's the holidays you don't know what to do??

And the empty packets......why??

And dd who has to get a new shampoo bottle out of the cupboard if there is less than a quarter in the old one meaning the bathroom is full of shampoo bottles in varying degrees of emptiness, why??

Tantrums....I have a cunning plan for all the odd shampoo ends.

Keep a "fancy expensive" shampoo bottle and decant all the odd bits into there, I use one of the Aussie types cos they are not see through.

Point out to all who use the bathroom that this is YOUR special, expensive, exclusively for your use ONLY, shampoo. It'll be used up in a trice.

Mwhahaahah

PS:Exam results are in...Phew is all I can say! :D

Nice one cats will try that.

So, exam results all good?

'Does anyone else survey a fridge apparently still containing plenty of cartons of this and that, cupboard with plenty of cereal boxes, bathroom stocked with tampons, and head out shopping only to come home and find that the containers and boxes were all put back empty into the fridge and cupboards, like the set of an old western.'

Oh yes! That's a DS thing, not a DD thing.
DD is wonderful and I'd flatshare with her anytime. We'd need two bathrooms as she appears to be amphibious.
The truly weird thing is that DS eats specific things that I don't, so by putting back the empties, the only person he's pissing off is himself.
I buy what's on the shopping list that is available to all, pinned up on the noticeboard. When you open the last of something, it goes on the list.
If it's not on the list, I don't buy it. I keep the list as evidence.
I'm veggie, do I give a shit if we are out of bacon?

maryz they are lying. Well behaved, polite teenagers are an urban myth

And if I hear its her/his turn to do xyz once more I will hurt someone.

You cannot drink tea out of a glass because its her turn to do the dishwasher
Rinse out a mug FFS.

And my DS has developed a habit of not wearing clothes now, which means every 3 seconds I have to say put on a tshirt put on shorts
stop sitting at my table in an open dressing gown and boxer shorts

I mean honestly, you may have been to the gym but I can assure you that no one wants to see your non existent 6 pack.

JUST GET DRESSED.

Oh yes, the winter. The rain. The snow.

And dd going to school in a short sleeved shirt and ballet pumps.

I'd forgotten that joy. The very expensive coat she never wears.