Professor White and the line dancing surfers eat cold turkey

[serialtester]

Welcome to the surfboard!

Oh you found us cleaning, I thought you were tucked up in bed with your flu and would wake up and find we'd all fucked off to a new thread Hope you're a bit better.

I didn't think about the book launch party... How to indoctrinate yourself to the way of the surf sounds catchy or maybe Idiot's guide to not taking cocaine as an abridged version.

Idiots Guide to Not Taking Cocaine - Chapter 1: How to Sew up your nostrils and other embroidery techniques. Pictures available via Pinterest.

Chapter 2: The basic acupuncture method of nailing your hands to the table on Friday evenings.

Chapter 3: Living in a cashless society so that you can't roll up £20 notes.

Chapter 4: Gluing bubble wrap to any smooth flat surfaces in your house with pritstick.

Chapter 5: Living in a totally money free society involving bartering and trade so that you don't have a debit/credit/loyalty card that might chop things up. Or cash (see chapter 3)

Te he, this book is making me very amused
Chapter 6: How to choose a dealer that can only speak Mandarin, rendering it impossible to order anything due to an impenetrable language barrier.

Chapter 6 how to engage your dealer in your rehabilitation process....in Mandarin

Chapter 7: Languages. How to unlearn mandarin Chinese after a desperate night when you needed a cheeky line.

Oops sorry that was chapter 7

We can expand chapter 7!

Chapter 8: Advanced electronics and computing. How to delete, retrieve whilst pissed, and delete again all details of all dealers ever across all platforms.

Chapter 8: Moving to a monastery in the middle of a jungle, cut off from all signs of civilisation.

Lost, then we can write book 2 "jungle rehab" and there will be a film! We'll be rich and famous. What will we spend our money on?!

Ahhhh you two are too funny as they say

I think we've written a book. We'll leave the finer details for Cleaning to sort out.
Thanks guys I think that's distracted me tonight. This time next year we'll be millionaires.

Imagine us on coke though flat! Can't speak for lost but I am UNBEARABLE!

Until tomorrow surfers!

you make me laugh!
Ok so had a weekend away booked with the usual crowd, always on the cards?
Managed to drastically control quantity, this is mega for me. Nickname Mrs Greedy and that's compared to the blokes standard, so there.must be brownie points there for me??

Hard going day at work on the Monday and a miserable Tuesday.
Hoping we have a large surfboard for tomorrow night??
Off to bed now after a lovely soak!

You know what it would be a disaster for us all, but I would SO love to do it one day.

Have spent the evening sorting laundry, then had a cigarette and some whisky to take the edge off.....its kinda worked...going to get into bed now where it's safe and read a little more on poor Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, feels so sad for her.

Damage control is good Costa. Sounds like you're having a tough week. Fridays are difficult for me too so hopefully we can help each other.
(I'm hooked on baths too )

See you all in the stormy waters aka Friday.

Yes poor Tara . There but for the grace of God go I.

Costa you and me both, I can out snort most of the guys no problem! Oh what a sad accolade...is this really going to be my only legacy to the world?

Well done on reigning it in though, that's a great first step

Hi guys im back. Was lying in bed and was sure I could smell Charlie and it made me think of you all 😂

Spun glad you are feeling a bit better, your blow out was entirely understandable!

Witty, hi, my husbands my biggest problem actually. When he was working abroad a lot last year it never entered my head. Even nights I say we aren't doing it tonight he will already have it ordered.

I'm feeling good about this weekend. No cravings, not going to be drinking (although we know this can change) dh is away Sunday for the week with work so Saturday isn't a danger zone just tomorrow to get through!

Cleaning, flat, lost, serial you are all doing amazingly well! Flat are you away this weekend again? Can't believe how nice your dealer was 😂 Ours messages practically every week to see if we want an order 😡

Welcome back Got Sounds like you're full of good resolve for the weekend.
Come on here if you're struggling later and we'll try to help.

Morning all, feeling quite virtuous today although that could change as darkness falls. Flat Are you away this weekend or braving it at home?