Professor White and the line dancing surfers eat cold turkey

[serialtester]

Welcome to the surfboard!

Witty, it sounds harsh and I'm in now way suggesting you do the same, but I left my OH because he was such a bad influence. Before getting with him the only drugs I had ever done was one pull on a joint when I was 17!! We started using coke 3-4 times a week, I got pregnant and actually have it up cold turkey for 6 months. But as soon as my DS was born I was back on it, and I justified it as I needed that break, right? I did all the night feeds, I was knackered, I needed that pick me up, that few hours to be myself again and not just a mother, to chill out and relax and have a giggle.

He's still a bad influence now and we're not even together, although we still get on. He's getting a large payout soon, and I asked him today what's the first thing hes going to do, and he said 'get a little something for us to enjoy with a few bottles of prosecco'

Spun it's not harsh at all. I have already thought that potentially that is the only answer. I would have no access to it without him and would never have the guts to find a dealer. But the thought of that makes me so sad I just can't contemplate it at the moment.

Spun, glad you are back on here. Hope you are ok?

Witty welcome on board. Your story sounds scarily similar to mine. Though I started doing coke almost 20yrs ago now. But it was only ever a four times a year thing until last year. We had a chunk of money in our account for building works we were doing, couldn't go out much as we had a toddler and a dealer who delivered in ten minutes, it was the perfect storm! We have been doing it pretty much every weekend since last March. I have cancelled on so many friends and family, the kids have had numerous pyjama days and the comedowns have got steadily worse, to the point where i have had some very dark thoughts and can only cope by hiding under the duvet till the worst of it passes.

After lots of reading and soul searching, my conclusion is that: it matters not one jot what my unconscious motivations are for doing coke. If I want to stop I need to stop (or significantly curtail) my access to it and I need to find a way to surf the cravings. That's it, simple really, yet so bloody hard

I thought about leaving (or at least separating from DH) but I know that isn't the answer for me. I bloody love him and as bad as coke comedowns make me feel, I reckon living life without him would make me feel a whole lot worse. Having said that I do think it's important to discuss where you are both at with the coke and for him to know you really want to stop (cut down)

Serial you ok? You said it was choppy waters for you tonight.

All this talk of coke is making me edgy

Sorry - you're all doing so well and I'm only just at the start of this (only thinking about the start really). I don't want to scupper everyone's efforts with my posts.

No no not at all witty! We talk about it all the time on this thread (obvs), sometimes it helps to get it out of my system, sometimes it doesn't. That's my problem, not yours. Please stick around

witty we're here if you need the support. I have a surf board ready . Living with a partner in crime is extremely difficult I know.
Start with getting really honest with him and putting all your cards on the table and he might surprise you. Please let us know how you're getting on, good or bad!

Hello spun pleased your feeling more upbeat. It's just going to take time. You've had such a lot happen in a short time.

I'm ok Flat. Think I've surfed the worst of it tonight.

We don't live together which is good because it does limit the opportunity. Although I think it also makes the temptation worse at the weekend as its easy to think it's only once/twice per week. I know there's some in the house now but I have no desire to take it when I'm here by myself.

Love your theories on things, flat we are definitely going to write a book. )

How are you feeling? I wonder if it's become a bit like the forbidden fruit in your mind now you've cut all ties, so it's big in your head? Hopefully that will pass.

Don't be silly Witty, I could be kept in isolation for 6 months and still want it!! You keep posting my child!

We should so write a book. Imagine the launch party?!

Hello hello! Don't forget your granite-scrubbing friend over here

Doing well over here. The cravings seem to have sailed away... for now at least

The bible of the surfboard. By Prof White. Foreword by the Archbishop of the Church of Cocainism. Appendices by Dr Lost. Editing and Granite expertise by Dr Cleaning.

Editor! Yes! I'm sure I have undiagnosed OCD

I knew you were the one for that job clean!!

I'm watching Hyacinthe Bucket profess the therapeutic qualities of cleaning! Yes girl!!!!

I don't think she was referring to Class A somehow 😂

I'm really admiring you saying there's some in the house now, but I have no desire to take it
You're actually in a really good position to knock it on the head altogether if you feel like this now.

I would be like a bee to a honeypot I'm afraid

Oh Lordy...the launch party! Half of us wouldn't trust ourselves out, and would have to do it via Skype, the other half would be nipping to the bathroom to powder our noses rather too often..,,,

Cleaning, welcome back

Ditto about the bee to the honeypot

Lost it's more because I'm scared of something bad happening rather than any kind of self control. Plus who would I talk nonsense to

I'm alive and kicking! And the danger zone isn't scaring me! Hurrah!

Witty, I admire your self control. For me a lone gram + whisky + fags = a very nice time!

Cleaning - love your attitude tonight!