Middle aged women (aka you lot) please desist form following crimes against fashion

[moondog]

1. Dying your hair a matte brown or black. So ageing and unattractive especially when also sporting bed flattened crown at which white roots are visible.

1. Long skirt, jaunty jerkin and medium helled boot ensemble (this particular species' natural habitat is M&S).

1. Not getting your teeth scaled and polished on a regular basis.

1. Wearing too many gold rings at once.

Oh and please stop dragging your sheepish looking dhs with you around the lingerie dept. Haven't they got shelves ot put up or lawns to mow?

Just because you can fit into those size 10 jeans and can do the zip up doesn't actually mean they fit. You have a 2 inch ring of flab peeking over the waistband.

What the flipping heck is a jaunty jerkin? I don't think I have one of those in my wardrobe so I must be okay.

It isusually chocolate brown and made of fake sheepskin.
Often teamed with cream poloneck/

Steady Getorf...

god it sounds rough where oyu live

please do not wear crocs over the age of 4

fleeces are crap

do not display your horned feet, chipped and broken toenails

please do not wear vest-tops that highlight your humungous bingo-wings

I've got a minty merkin- does that count?

OR the padded puffa type gilets (oh I hate that word) bought from Joules.

Actually, all clothing from Joules. It's up there with the 'jaunty' boden frocks.

Bootcut jeans which are a mite too short.

Lady of a certain age red hair dye a la Shirley Maclaine.

Lady of a certain age spikey feisty hairdos a la Sharon Osbourne or that nutjob Loose Woman who used to be married to Reg Holdsworth.

Breathing a sigh of relief. No crimes yet, but then the list of charges isn't very long.

Lol at spikey feisty hairdo! So true!!!

OMFG, I have a minty coloured Puffa affair from Boden. I am doomed.

I had a good snoop around Per Una today for a cheap laugh.

Is everything they do either purple or sage green?

Don't wear 'statement' specs and have them perched half way down your snout. You are not Jenni Murray.

Moondog - minty coloured....

I would like to report a crime against fashion. Didn't see her face, so don't know whether she was middle-aged or not, but she was wearing tan leather heeled knee boots with thick black tights. And it was so very wrong.

Oh. Are purple and sage green clothing also crimes against fashion? Even if they don't come from Per Una?

Jenni Murray is poss. the most irritating woman on planet.

Nah, sage green and purple ok, thus douse yer torch.Not every day thoguh.

I have a fleece. I'm wearing it now. It's nice and cosy and it washes beautifully.

I'm happy to be a fashion outlaw. It gives me a frisson.

Crap. That was me.

Feisty or jaunty anything really.

Oh dear - are you confessing to me JM? Maybe there's different rules in Canada?

Phew.

jajas - haha, me too

madbad - no, purple clothes are acceptable imho (i hope so anyway!)

so the only crime i have committed is to have a joules top - it's nice, honest!

I was kidding .

I have just been to Joules website to find clothes to link to and take the piss, but actually there are some lovely things and am thinking of buying a jumper.

Am officially Old And Past It.

getorfmoiland - so long as you don't stand in a field in your joules top drinking tea you'll be fine