Middle aged women (aka you lot) please desist form following crimes against fashion

[moondog]

1. Dying your hair a matte brown or black. So ageing and unattractive especially when also sporting bed flattened crown at which white roots are visible.

1. Long skirt, jaunty jerkin and medium helled boot ensemble (this particular species' natural habitat is M&S).

1. Not getting your teeth scaled and polished on a regular basis.

1. Wearing too many gold rings at once.

Oh and please stop dragging your sheepish looking dhs with you around the lingerie dept. Haven't they got shelves ot put up or lawns to mow?

had outgrown them

no it's ok I'd put who'd

Yes you're right - I have two pairs of jeans from Per Una which do fit really well. I'd forgotten about those.

They're good for muffin tops and have a bit of give.

D'you know, one of the really weird things about getting older is that you do suddenly develop significant norkage.

I never had a cleavage (until I was pregnant/breastfeeding). But suddenly I can create something rather magnificent.

The only shame of it is that it's not as taut as it could be!

I was skinny before dss but have curves now. I prefer the curves just need to tone although I've been saying that for years.

It may have been me that was spotted in the tan boots and black tights combo, but I was wearing them with this dress Was that wrong? Dress is black with orangey/tan flowers. What should I have done?

So what should we do with our hair????

Hair should be a shiny, clean, well-cut and polished version of natural for as long as the natural colour is acceptable. If it is too grey and minging to bear, you have to dye it and highlight it (this costs a fortune and you will have to rejig your household budget accordingly).

If you use Elgydium toothpaste and an electric toothbrush, and you floss/use interdental brushes daily, you do not need to have your teeth professionally cleaned.

Thank you Bonsoir
Nice clear answers, that's what we need.

But you all know that [[http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/05/22/article-0-050A9D30000005DC-873_468x502.jpg this] is what Bonsoir really looks like, don't you?

Gah! this

That's a personal attack and not allowed on MN .

Oh Riven, I never wear nail varnish or hair spray! Your image is miles off the mark!

I'm wearing a brown fleece right now

Then I suggest you take it off and place it in the nearest recycling bin, and order a nice brightly-coloured cashmere sweater instead

God, you have just described the school run uniform. Except the gold rings and the teeth that is.

I am going to struggle to keep a straight face at pick up this afternoon.

Leave Anna on her pedestal. I think she should have her own slot on Mumsnet TV.