Middle aged women (aka you lot) please desist form following crimes against fashion

[moondog]

1. Dying your hair a matte brown or black. So ageing and unattractive especially when also sporting bed flattened crown at which white roots are visible.

1. Long skirt, jaunty jerkin and medium helled boot ensemble (this particular species' natural habitat is M&S).

1. Not getting your teeth scaled and polished on a regular basis.

1. Wearing too many gold rings at once.

Oh and please stop dragging your sheepish looking dhs with you around the lingerie dept. Haven't they got shelves ot put up or lawns to mow?

But I was in Canada one winter and I did see some fairly unpleasant footwear

lol allnew.

I like the polo player tops. I am a twat, aren't I.

Query: if one is not middle aged may one do all of the above? I particularly want to wear lots of gold rings with a long skirt, jaunty jerkin, medium heeled boots (tan, with black tights natch!) to go with my statement specs and dyed black hair?

Oh shit!!! What am I allowed to wear then?

Will a large sack by acceptable?

I have a fleece but it's from Uniqlo, does that make it sort of ok in a slightly cool way? Or not. I don't have anything from Joules although I do own some kind of wacko shirt from Boden which was a mistake

getorf - I confess to owning such a polo shirt

I only wear it round the house

I think my specs are a bit statement-y. What sort of glasses should I be wearing?

They do look nice.

Only thing stopping me from ordering it is the sneer on my teenage dd's face

pcworld - lol at the wacko shirt. Personally I think fleece ok if keeping warm on a cold day walking or something. Not for going to shops etc though........unless you're in the lake district or something.........

ah - a teenage dd, yes, that must complicate things!

lol at 'fairly unpleasant footwear'
Frakk, g'wan embrace yer inner old trout.

Actually I feel like I am now 'old' not middle-aged so entering purple hat territory. So stuff the lot of yeh!

OK. Get this. I also have a padded coat thing, and it is brown. Is that ok for the shops in outer London, would you say, or is that also a bit "Lake District" Yes, the fleece I normally keep for shambling about the house in.

I can't win - if she thinks my clothes are vile, she mocks mercilessly, if she likes them they get swiped.

If we go shoppinh she pleads 'mum please don't make small talk with the assistants in Top Shop' as if I am some social misfit. I think I have turned into Bridget Jones's mother.

I am only in my thirties fgs

I love padded body warmers! I have just bought a new navy one from Gap with my 30% off voucher.
Shirts over a polo neck are a particular hate of mine.

Jajas - not the bonfire. Too much light. People will see.

Ooooh shirts over a polo neck. Very vicar's wife.

I never do that.

Dexter - Do you mean shirts over polo necks with all the buttons undone? I do agree that's vile.

With the collar turned up.

Worn with specs with chains.

and don't wear frickin brown

or oatmeal

or beige

or camel

you get the picture

stop it right now

eye thenk ewe