How can I wean my mother off the Damart catalogue

[KassandraOfSparta]

OK, she is 80. She also does not "do" online shopping and cannot use the internet so is limited in choice to mail order or what shops exist in her town which sell clothes (small M&S, TK Maxx, Tesco, Morrisons, New Look, Matalan). She is not short of cash.

Visited today and she was wearing the most godawful old lady mint green, acyrlic, zippy up cardigan. I said "Oh that's new mum, haven't seen that before" and she announces it's from the Damart catalogue. If you've ever wondered who buys the "comfortable slacks" and similar items advertised in the national trust magazine, that's my mum.

I don't expect her to be high fashion. Sibling and I often buy clothes for her for birthdays and Christmas, sibling recently bought her a striped breton cotton top which she appears to like. She obviously wants to be comfortable and I do get that. But there is comfortable... and there is the Damart catalogue.

I bumped into a friend of hers recently - similar age - wearing Adidas trainers, black trousers, lambswool jumper. Nothing high fashion or out there. My mum has very odd ideas about clothes and appearance (people over 40 shouldn't wear jeans, women over 30 shouldn't have long hair, if you were meant to have holes in your earlobes you'd be born with them, pop socks are a perfectly acceptable item of clothing) and weaning her off this abomination of a catalogue is going to be tough. Any ideas?

Let her be. If she’s happy what business of yours is it what she choses to wear?

I mean, she's free to wear what she likes, but if you want her to have more choice then why not have a browse around online for the sort of things she might like and get the leaflets sent to her house? Cotton Traders are very popular (and I quite like some of their stuff too). At least then she'd have other choices, although she might swing right back to Damart anyway.

And, according to my friend who can't use the internet, you can order Cotton Trader clothes by post or over the phone too.

Leave her alone. Buying clothing as an older person can be really difficult. Honestly, comfort becomes more important.

Her style isn’t yours
get over yourself

She's 80, not 30, so I wouldn't imagine she would want to wear anything that younger people are wearing. Just leave her to it? I thought when the title said how to wean her off the Damart catalogue, she was buying a lot, but you've only seen her wear one item from there?

Land End have lovely catalogues and take orders over the phone

let the woman wear what she likes and has chosen for herself.

I was going to suggestion Cotton Traders. They also seem really keen to post discounts.

I think Damart still do ordering by phone, which is good for older folk who are wary of the internet. Why don’t you have a look at their website with her, suggest some pieces she might like and she can order them in the way she likes.

But please do it gently. It’d be wrong of you to make her feel bad about her clothing choices.

The reason my mums wardrobe is mainly from damart is because they are easy to put on, comfortable and wash well.

How would you feel if she criticised your clothing choices?

Is your mum happy with her clothing or has she expressed a wish to have more choice or change her style?

Why are you so desperate to change her when she’s happy with how she is?

She has reached an age she has no fucks left to give - let her embrace the Damart look if she wants.

If she is happy with her choice and she’s maintaining her independence by choosing and ordering herself that is something to be encouraged. I agree with PP to get her a Cotton Traders brochure to give her more choice and she can still order for herself.

Up to her what she wears.

she is warm cosy and comfortable cannot see the problem in that

Ooooo are they still going? I used to have their vests as a child and the highlight of winter was turning the lights off before removing the vest. Lovely blue lightening show with lots of crackle!! We also had their flannelette bedding which was lovely 😍

I like the sound of the acrylic green zippy up cardigan. I can't wear wool. Damart you say?

I would say, provided she can afford it leave her to buy them.

My mum & MIL are both mid-70s. Mum is good-looking, slim. She dresses in the same old stuff, Clearance rack finds, hand-me-downs from her older sisters… She pops a cheap neon pink raincoat over everything. Cuts her own hair. No make-up.

MIL is very stylish, but not in an older lady way. She’s understated elegance, add quite modern in her tastes. Cashmere, good denim, smart coat. Invests in linens, interesting footwear, expensive but not designer leather handbag. Regular hair & nails. No face work.

Both are comfortable within their own look.

As a suggestion, if finances are fine then she might want to take a look at The Able Label.
They cater for older people/ people who find dressing fiddly, and make their clothing so it is easier to put on and take off.
Used them before for my late mother. Who liked them. They were always good for deliveries and nice and helpful to phone.

I mean it sounds like she has access to plenty of shops that sell reasonable clothes of she wanted them. You could try taking round another catalogue (landsend, seasalt etc) and see if anything takes her fancy but frankly at 80 if she is happy with her choices I would leave her to it.

My auntie (92) loves her Damart catalogue. I called round today and she was ordering two skirts. She can't go shopping easily any more and she can afford to treat herself, so why not? I wouldn't be so patronising as to think I could tell her what to spend her money on. She's capable of deciding for herself.

Woolovers do a catalogue with some nicer stuff- or sea salt?

If I get to 80 I'll wear whatever the fuck I want. Leave your mum alone.