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How can I wean my mother off the Damart catalogue

217 replies

KassandraOfSparta · Yesterday 17:44

OK, she is 80. She also does not "do" online shopping and cannot use the internet so is limited in choice to mail order or what shops exist in her town which sell clothes (small M&S, TK Maxx, Tesco, Morrisons, New Look, Matalan). She is not short of cash.

Visited today and she was wearing the most godawful old lady mint green, acyrlic, zippy up cardigan. I said "Oh that's new mum, haven't seen that before" and she announces it's from the Damart catalogue. If you've ever wondered who buys the "comfortable slacks" and similar items advertised in the national trust magazine, that's my mum.

I don't expect her to be high fashion. Sibling and I often buy clothes for her for birthdays and Christmas, sibling recently bought her a striped breton cotton top which she appears to like. She obviously wants to be comfortable and I do get that. But there is comfortable... and there is the Damart catalogue.

I bumped into a friend of hers recently - similar age - wearing Adidas trainers, black trousers, lambswool jumper. Nothing high fashion or out there. My mum has very odd ideas about clothes and appearance (people over 40 shouldn't wear jeans, women over 30 shouldn't have long hair, if you were meant to have holes in your earlobes you'd be born with them, pop socks are a perfectly acceptable item of clothing) and weaning her off this abomination of a catalogue is going to be tough. Any ideas?

OP posts:
MeowDoku · Yesterday 19:19

My dad as he is approaching 80 has started shopping almost exclusively at the army navy surplus store (and Skechers) , DS has started making jokes about not being able to see him because he's camouflaged 😂
I know my dad has some lovely clothes in his wardrobe that still fit him, but it's his choice!

Cardomomle · Yesterday 19:20

Good grief, you have a horrible attitude. She's 80, let her wear what she wants. What's with the "old lady cardigan"? How unpleasant.
Do you think everyone who sees you thinks you look chic and stylish? I doubt it.
Live and let live.

likelysuspect · Yesterday 19:20

KassandraOfSparta · Yesterday 17:44

OK, she is 80. She also does not "do" online shopping and cannot use the internet so is limited in choice to mail order or what shops exist in her town which sell clothes (small M&S, TK Maxx, Tesco, Morrisons, New Look, Matalan). She is not short of cash.

Visited today and she was wearing the most godawful old lady mint green, acyrlic, zippy up cardigan. I said "Oh that's new mum, haven't seen that before" and she announces it's from the Damart catalogue. If you've ever wondered who buys the "comfortable slacks" and similar items advertised in the national trust magazine, that's my mum.

I don't expect her to be high fashion. Sibling and I often buy clothes for her for birthdays and Christmas, sibling recently bought her a striped breton cotton top which she appears to like. She obviously wants to be comfortable and I do get that. But there is comfortable... and there is the Damart catalogue.

I bumped into a friend of hers recently - similar age - wearing Adidas trainers, black trousers, lambswool jumper. Nothing high fashion or out there. My mum has very odd ideas about clothes and appearance (people over 40 shouldn't wear jeans, women over 30 shouldn't have long hair, if you were meant to have holes in your earlobes you'd be born with them, pop socks are a perfectly acceptable item of clothing) and weaning her off this abomination of a catalogue is going to be tough. Any ideas?

I get that this is fairly lighthearted but am laughing a lot at your 'my mum has odd ideas about what people should or shouldnt wear' and then you go on to be exactly the same about a godawful zippy up cardie, comfy slacks and pop socks

You're just like your mum

Get ordering from the catalogue OP!!

Cardomomle · Yesterday 19:22

OrneryWorld · Yesterday 19:06

Start carefully removing the pages with the worst items. You'll have to play the long game. Do too many at once and she'll notice 😁

EDIT - typo

Edited

What the OP may think are the worst items and what others do may differ.
The OP may actually have terrible taste!

grinandslothit · Yesterday 19:23

This is a very much a cashed up wealthy white woman issue. She has 80 she is allowed to wear what she wants to wear don't you think?

Cardomomle · Yesterday 19:25

KassandraOfSparta · Yesterday 18:45

Why can’t she use the internet out of interest?

@myladyjane it's as much won't as can't. She is an avowed technophobe. She worked in a public sector role where computers were not used, they were only starting to be introduced when she took early retirement around 1998. When my dad was alive he was quite interested in tech, had a laptop, facebook account, email address, booked flights etc online. Mum has no interest and a deep suspicion of anything online. It's all fake, all scammers and all pornography. And is very judgy of people glued to their devices (even when they're not).

She's in Tesco every week for her shopping. They have much nicer things in there than the catalogue.

....and you're very judgy of what she wears!
I bet you look alike as well.

AgentPidge · Yesterday 19:25

YABU. Not everyone thinks looking stylish is important.

likelysuspect · Yesterday 19:26

sweetpickle2 · Yesterday 19:04

This has to be some sort of stealth marketing to get people on the Damart website.

It worked, because I found the top OP is on about and it’s absolutely fine https://www.damart.co.uk/thermolactyl-hooded-zip-up-fleece-73990.html?color_filterable=49716

If this is real, then your poor mum!

Looks cosy

And good value too

These canny 80 year olds, no flies on them!

Lomonald · Yesterday 19:27

sittingonabeach · Yesterday 19:14

What’s wrong with letting her wear what she wants?

A word of caution, if you have an elderly relative who doesn’t use the internet it isn’t always a good idea to encourage them to start. When their cognitive levels start to decline you might find them ordering all sorts and multiple times, forgetting passwords, getting caught in scams etc.

A family member had to close accounts for her parent because they were getting confused on the Internet and with their online banking, the parent is in their 80s and yes in cognitive decline,

KassandraOfSparta · Yesterday 19:28

sweetpickle2 · Yesterday 19:04

This has to be some sort of stealth marketing to get people on the Damart website.

It worked, because I found the top OP is on about and it’s absolutely fine https://www.damart.co.uk/thermolactyl-hooded-zip-up-fleece-73990.html?color_filterable=49716

If this is real, then your poor mum!

That is not it. It had cable bits and pattern up the front.

OP posts:
likelysuspect · Yesterday 19:28

Yellowsubmarine55 · Yesterday 19:19

If she's happy then leave her be, my dad is parading around in chums trousers but he's happy! You could influence if you want like a different catalogue. Freeman's is one that hasn't been mentioned, you could say you're ordering something and does she want to browse to save on postage.

Oh Chums, yes my dad laughs that all his clothes now come from Chums. I dont even know what it is

He's 89 next month.

CaptainMyCaptain · Yesterday 19:29

Let her wear what she wants.

CharlotteStreetW1 · Yesterday 19:30

SirChenjins · Yesterday 17:56

She has reached an age she has no fucks left to give - let her embrace the Damart look if she wants.

Yep. Reminds me of my lovely late MIL who was Damart personified with a short "practical" haircut. She died last year and we were going through loads of old photos. Up until the 1970s (her 40s) she was incredibly stylish. I wonder what made her stop caring....

Cardomomle · Yesterday 19:30

KassandraOfSparta · Yesterday 19:28

That is not it. It had cable bits and pattern up the front.

Why are you assuming that her taste is worse than yours? What are you wearing today?

Cardomomle · Yesterday 19:30

CharlotteStreetW1 · Yesterday 19:30

Yep. Reminds me of my lovely late MIL who was Damart personified with a short "practical" haircut. She died last year and we were going through loads of old photos. Up until the 1970s (her 40s) she was incredibly stylish. I wonder what made her stop caring....

Edited

She couldn't be arsed.

Topseyt123 · Yesterday 19:31

I just took a glance at Damart. 😃

It doesn't look too bad to me (I'm 60) though I don't have any. I prefer M & S.

If she's comfortable with it then let her be.

Yetone · Yesterday 19:31

OP, I do agree with you. Damart is awful and I am only 6 years behind your mother.
However, I was far more surprised that an 80 year old doesn’t want to go online.

Cardomomle · Yesterday 19:32

Yetone · Yesterday 19:31

OP, I do agree with you. Damart is awful and I am only 6 years behind your mother.
However, I was far more surprised that an 80 year old doesn’t want to go online.

So? Her choice, both in clothing and internet use.

Cardomomle · Yesterday 19:33

Perhaps you will be faced with the judgment of your own children one day!
Perhaps they judge you now.

suburburban · Yesterday 19:33

I think it looks fine

Ladidahdi · Yesterday 19:36

Ohdearwhatsthisthen · Yesterday 19:17

I'm glad it's not just me 😂 I'd never heard of it....I've been looking for a pair of stretchy trousers for work....

I have Damart trousers for work. Navy blue with piping on, unless you look closely they don’t look too dissimilar to NHS issue trousers but they’re MUCH more comfy. And they were a fiver on Vinted. Second hand damart 😂

OP posts:
Cardomomle · Yesterday 19:40

I don't understand, why shouldn't she wear this if she wants to?

Lomonald · Yesterday 19:40

CharlotteStreetW1 · Yesterday 19:30

Yep. Reminds me of my lovely late MIL who was Damart personified with a short "practical" haircut. She died last year and we were going through loads of old photos. Up until the 1970s (her 40s) she was incredibly stylish. I wonder what made her stop caring....

Edited

Why do you think she didn't care? Being 40 and 80 is poles apart maybe she just wanted to be comfortable in her clothes. Maybe she was done with being "stylish "

Cardomomle · Yesterday 19:41

Lomonald · Yesterday 19:40

Why do you think she didn't care? Being 40 and 80 is poles apart maybe she just wanted to be comfortable in her clothes. Maybe she was done with being "stylish "

I agree. Not everyone is into fashion. It's not a crime.

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