How can I wean my mother off the Damart catalogue

[KassandraOfSparta]

OK, she is 80. She also does not "do" online shopping and cannot use the internet so is limited in choice to mail order or what shops exist in her town which sell clothes (small M&S, TK Maxx, Tesco, Morrisons, New Look, Matalan). She is not short of cash.

Visited today and she was wearing the most godawful old lady mint green, acyrlic, zippy up cardigan. I said "Oh that's new mum, haven't seen that before" and she announces it's from the Damart catalogue. If you've ever wondered who buys the "comfortable slacks" and similar items advertised in the national trust magazine, that's my mum.

I don't expect her to be high fashion. Sibling and I often buy clothes for her for birthdays and Christmas, sibling recently bought her a striped breton cotton top which she appears to like. She obviously wants to be comfortable and I do get that. But there is comfortable... and there is the Damart catalogue.

I bumped into a friend of hers recently - similar age - wearing Adidas trainers, black trousers, lambswool jumper. Nothing high fashion or out there. My mum has very odd ideas about clothes and appearance (people over 40 shouldn't wear jeans, women over 30 shouldn't have long hair, if you were meant to have holes in your earlobes you'd be born with them, pop socks are a perfectly acceptable item of clothing) and weaning her off this abomination of a catalogue is going to be tough. Any ideas?

I went into the one at Westfield W London last week and lost the will to live. How does anyone find anything in there without devoting hours to it? I'll devote hours to some things but shopping isn't one of them.

I prefer to do it like a commando raid - identify target (what do I want), home in on target (does the shop have it?), achieve objective (check size, price, and colour), finalise raid (pay and out).

But then, no-one ever comes to me for style tips.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain I like your style 😀

So your mum has fixed ideas about what people should wear, but you also seem to have fixed ideas about what she should or shouldn’t wear. Leave her be.

I'd pop her on a mailing list for Cotton Traders, Lands End, Seasalt and Ambrose Wilson. At least it's still catalogues and she'll have a bit more choice.

My Dad was 83 when he died and spent his last 10 years in t shirts, joggers and a fleece. Even if we took him out, and he put everything he needed in a battered Tesco bag for life. I used to want to hide them all from him, but he placed comfort above style, love him.

Good lord, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Her ideas about clothes are fixed, yet you’re the one convincing a plan to tempt her away from Damart?

Damart is fine. If she’s comfortable and happy that’s fine. If she has an epiphany in new look and starts dressing entirely in nylon leopard print, that’s also fine.

Fucking hell, even when I make it to 80 I still won't be safe from the fashion police?

I’m wondering if they’ve any normal length tops as I’ve been in M&S tonight and there’s hardly anything that would come anywhere close to meeting my waistband!

At what age are women just allowed to do, be, wear what they want. The woman is 80, for the love of God just let her be.

Sometimes I think when it comes to shopping I'm actually a man (except for books).

This has to be some sort of stealth marketing to get people on the Damart website.

It worked, because I found the top OP is on about and it’s absolutely fine https://www.damart.co.uk/thermolactyl-hooded-zip-up-fleece-73990.html?color_filterable=49716

If this is real, then your poor mum!

Get a load of catalogues sent to her house. She probably enjoys leafing through and picking stuff. Different catalogues, greater range of stuff. If she likes something and it’s only online just say you’ll order it. Although my mum is 90 and frankly if it made her happy to dress in a neon pink onesie, I’d say go for it. Once you’ve hit 80 and beyond, are well into retirement, surely dressing exactly how you please is one of the perks.

Hopefully this is a wind up 🙄 even if your mum was 55 it’s none of your bloody business where she gets her clothes from. I think it’s a wind up though as otherwise if I was such a cow to my mum I would be far too embarrassed to post about it online .

Bloody hell at eighty years old can’t she just wear what she likes?

Nothing wrong with Damart. You sound not particularly nice.

Those full briefs with the rosebud design are very comfortable I'll have you know.

Oooh, they have fleece joggers! I need some more for winter.

Start carefully removing the pages with the worst items. You'll have to play the long game. Do too many at once and she'll notice 😁

EDIT - typo

Oh ! tbf i am an in and out sort of woman or a click and collect i love a click and collect i wonder if Damart do a C&C 😂

Ive just looked at damart and it’s perfectly nice! Not like it’s shein on temu. I guess it’s just simple style?
Then again I own a mint green zip up fleece I love so…

Honestly who cares what she wears?! It's so odd. She sounds clean, smart and comfortable. What on earth is the issue?!

My version is much brighter but Im mis thirties and think it looks perfectly nice and practical 😳
Is it weird this thread has made me want to sit and leaf through a catalogue?
also bloody love the Aldi/lidl middle aisle ones.

Leave her alone. She’s comfortable as she is.

What’s wrong with letting her wear what she wants?

A word of caution, if you have an elderly relative who doesn’t use the internet it isn’t always a good idea to encourage them to start. When their cognitive levels start to decline you might find them ordering all sorts and multiple times, forgetting passwords, getting caught in scams etc.

I'm glad it's not just me 😂 I'd never heard of it....I've been looking for a pair of stretchy trousers for work....

If she's happy then leave her be, my dad is parading around in chums trousers but he's happy! You could influence if you want like a different catalogue. Freeman's is one that hasn't been mentioned, you could say you're ordering something and does she want to browse to save on postage.