I live in leggings

[SwappawS]

Since having kids my size and shape have changed a lot and I'm at a loss as to how to dress now. Before kids I was a size 12 with a pear shape/hourglass figure. Now, I'm a size 16 with a huge bum, tights and a mum tum following 2 C-sections. The clothes I used to wear just wouldn't look good on me anymore but I don't want to wear leggings and jumpers/long baggy tops all the time. I'm 5'7 and 40 years old. Please help!

I wear thick leggings because they hold it all in, and they show how good my legs are. If I wore wide legged trousers I’d look bigger.

I’m catching up on the Great Pottery Throwdown just now, and I keep thinking how well-dressed Siobhan McSweeney is and how good she always looks.
I don’t actually know if she’s a similar shape or size to you, but maybe have a look and see if anything she wears inspires you?

You’re not alone. Have a look here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5276904-where-to-even-start?reply=142255474

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5264174-is-this-dress-a-bit-dated?reply=141781290

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5275109-is-there-a-mum-uniform-where-you-live?reply=142190431

Siobhan McSweeney is probably a good bit bigger than a size 16? Unless she's very petite. She looks to be about a 22/24

Size 16 isn't really that big op when you're on the taller side. Try instagram for size 16 (size 12 in american speak) fashion influencers

I also had a c section with my last baby and had a bit of a tummy which looks a lot worse if I'm bloated. I wear a lot of dresses, skirts and wide leg trousers

changing Styles is really hard 😘😘
it’s took me about 3 years to finally move on from skinny jeans even though they aren’t fashionable any more because when I tried on mom style ones I felt they looked strange and didn’t suit me after a decade of wearing skinny’s! Now I think they actually do but it just took some getting used to.

I would:
go shopping with a friend , aiming to get at least one daytime outfit and one date night outfit
try on lots of pairs of jeans, skirts (so handy that long ones are in!) , dresses
re look at my leggings, I don’t think leggings are inherently bad but saggy, thin (usually cheap) leggings generally don’t last well/ look good. So maybe treat yourself to a pair of really high quality leggings (again I didn’t used to see the point but they 100 % make a diference) I love Lululemon ones. Think about how you style them, chunky sports socks and a nice sweater will take you from drab to effortlessly cute.

try and work on your self esteem. We are similar ages and unfortunately from
a generation with made women so paranoid about normal adult women figures, think Paris, Tyra etc. I look at younger generation maybe a size 16-18 wearing a belly top confidently and think they look great but I would never wear it at a size 12 which is such a shame.

post some updates!

Thanks all. Self esteem is a big issue! I also see a lot of women who are much bigger than me wearing clothes that they look great in, but I wouldn't personally wear the same. It's more my shape that I dislike/am struggling with than the extra weight (although I could undoubtedly do with shifting some). I feel that nothing sits well on me. A line dresses are about the only thing that look good but they're not a day-to-day, nursery run wear.

The belly is my biggest issue, I feel I have to dress around it as I want to hide it as much as possible. My youngest is almost 3 and I'm still struggling to accept my new body.

I've contemplated a decent pair of shape wear leggings but am hesitant to spent £80 on something that might not live up to the hype. Thanks for the Lulu Lemon recommendation.

I don't enjoy wearing posh sports leggings. They aren't designed for everyday wear really and I find them a bit uncomfortable? Just me maybe.

I totally sympathise op. My belly changed so much after my c-section. I would go with wide leg trousers or jeans unless you're particularly keen to show off your legs. Or dresses over leggings if you need to be crawling around on the floor with a toddler etc.

Mine did get a bit better on its own - my belly I mean. It isnt perfect or flat by a long shot, but it is better than it was for a few years after my youngest was born

I mean there is no rule that says a line dresses aren’t for nursery runs! I’ve recently also started to just wear dresses for no reason as otherwise they don’t get worn as I do school runs and wfh !

could u book a personal stylist appt to get some Inspo?

Op when I was that size, and I’m your height, I found skirts to be my friend, longer, midi length, bias cut. They hide a multitude of sins, and either a top that doesn’t cling and not tight, but is fairly close to the body (as in not baggy) or a woollen jumper.

I stoopidly missed the OP's height. Apparently SMcS is 5' 6".
I mean, whatever her size she looks great. I'm a very different size and shape (tall and lanky) but would love some of her clothes.

See it just goes to show how tastes differ. I love Siobhan, I think she’s excellent, however I am genuinely surprised anyone finds her dress sense aspirational. I have seldom seen her in an outfit I find nice and often think wtf is she wearing. I do like it’s part of her personality and in that way suits her.

hoever I go for muted colours, navy, tan, black, charcoal, berry, etc no patterns, streamlined clothing, so the bold and out there look is never going to be something I think looks good. I’m sure she’d think the same of me and how I dress.

TBH I tend to go for more muted colours and simple lines too! I don't think her clothes would suit me, unless maybe I had a very good stylist. I just love how she often wears unusual combinations of colour and print. The cut and proportions of her clothes are often surprising and original-feeling too. And I think her jewellery, hair, make-up etc all contribute to it.
I don't think it's surprising that people might find her dress sense aspirational – if someone felt encouraged to express their personality, and/or wanted a push to try different colours etc, it may well resonate with them.

That’s true, she makes it work for her, that quirky out there look.

but I am not sure the op wants that. She just doesn’t wish to live in leggings.

I love siobhan too. I lived in NI in the late 80s and all through the 90s, so it's the law that I have to love Derry Girls 😂. But I just thought it was a slightly leftfield suggestion based on op saying she is 40yo and a size 16. Wouldn't have been my first thought, but I guess if you've just seen her on tv she was more in your mind.

Sure, but it was just a suggestion, to be taken or left.
I'm not sure it's even that 'out there', TBH.

I know, I did say I missed the info on the OP's size due to skim-reading too fast.
Siobhan McS is 45, so not a million miles away from the OP at all.
And yes, I'm bingeing the Throwdown a bit just now, so I suppose she is quite prominent in my mind.
I just think her look is so original and striking. If someone is in a rut it might at least give them a shake-up to look at her style.

I think the risk is it comes across as oh you’re a bit fat why don’t you dress like this other lady whose a bit fat, I can’t as I’m oh so thin.

Not arguing with anyone, but just a thing I realised - a size 16, 40yo is about as close in age and dress size to Taylor Swift as to Siobhan McSweeney (TS is a size 10 apparently and 35yo)! I likely wouldn't emulate either celebrity style as both are too showbiz for my tastes.

I think look on social media for more everyday styles for mums of young dcs.

That's a bit uncalled-for. When did I say I was oh so thin? It's just true that I'm a different size and shape.
It was the OP who graphically (and probably very harshly) described herself as having 'a huge bum' and 'a mum tum'.

I'll say this part yet again: I didn't see the OP had given her height, and so didn't compute her and Siobhan McS's relative sizes and proportions. Mea culpa.
I'll also repeat that, totally separately from her size and shape, I think her look is original and striking and I admire it.

I'm a very different size and shape (tall and lanky) but would love some of her clothes.

lanky means thin, what does it mean to you?

It means oddly long, gangly limbs, but not skinny; I have meat on my bones.
But anyway, my comments seem to have made you quite annoyed and I don’t quite know why. I’ve tried to explain my thinking but I’ve had enough now.

According to the dictionary

lanky
/ˈlaŋki/

adjective

(of a person) ungracefully thin and tall.

im not annoyed, I think you’re projecting as it is clearly you are.

Fuck me.
So what is the exact problem? I don't know what lanky means? (see my previous post where I gave you what I think of as the definition).
Or I DO know and I'm lying about it and stealth-boasting about my body?
I don't know why you've conceived such a fixation and an issue with me but frankly it's really odd.

This is a picture of me on a recent holiday. I don't have one where you can see my stomach as I purposefully avoid full body photographs, but this gives an idea of my shape.

No suggestions, but just to say you look lovely! I really don't think you need to be hiding away in leggings all the time