Expectations vs Reality?

[KatharinaRosalie]

Can we have another expectations vs reality thread?
Went to hairdresser. I asked for a Claire Dunphy messy cut: https://www.hairstyles.my.id/2018/04/julie-bowen-hairstyles-modern-family.html

Just walked past a mirror and though oooh I really do look like someone famous.
Yes, yes indeed. : https://www.udiscovermusic.com/artist/rod-stewart/

Thank you so much for this image 😄

Me too <weeps>. Actually, I only wish my hair was as thick as his.

🤣🤣

I got my hair curled and put up in a half-do for my niece’s wedding. It was the first time it had ever been long enough.
Feeling feminine for once, I thought sod it, and went for heels too.

Given the fact I was a size sixteen generous 14 at the time, and a good five inches taller than most of my family even without the heels, I looked more like this. The photos haunt me.

It made me laugh too!

I love the whole lagenlook thing. I see it on other women similar to my build. They look great, a bit boho librarian or similar.

I look as though I don't know anything about how to put on a piece of clothing. Or how buttons work.

I weep. I JUST WANT TO LOOK LIKE A COOL ART TEACHER!

I’ve always thought Hattie Jaques was rather sexy in reality. She certainly had a colourful romantic life.

Face highlighter.

At home: Thought some dabbed on my cheekbones and down centre of my nose would give a dewy, youthful, sun kissed, contoured effect.

Arriving at work: Was asked if I knew I had glitter all over my face and pretended my toddler daubed it on and it wouldn't come off.

A very good answer

I have the figure of Aubrey Plaza and like vintage clothes. Problem is, I'm more than a decade older than her and shop windows rudely remind me that I look more like Dot Cotton.

Ah well.

Oh god, yes. Also eyeshadow above the crease. They make it look so easy on Tik-Tok. On me, it's

Once saw a otherwise chic mid 50's woman in a pale coloured romper. Honestly she looked like a toddler in it, she really did

The other one is the ‘sweatshirt and leggings’ combo that seems to be everywhere on instagram. Usually perfect hair in a messy bun, sunglasses, holding an iced latte and perfecting the ‘I just did a workout and I’m glowing’.

Me, again, Miss Trunchbull

Oh god highlighters and contouring.
Expectation - chiseled cheekbones with dewy complexion.
Reality, despite my efforts - face painted by Picasso.

😂 comments here are hilarious! Thank you for making us laugh!

I recently had my longish wavy hair chopped into a curly jaw-length bob. Ooh I thought I will be Ines de la Fressange with my straight jeans and nonchalent tousled crop. In fact I look exactly like Fran Lebowitz.

Belted trenchs are definitely a lie as above. From the same Book of Style Myths as crisp white shirts and comfortable stilletos.

I bet you looked amazing, Heidi!

I have two:

Brightly coloured jumpsuit from Lucy & Yak:
Expectation: on jumpsuit trend, with a hint of fun and summer colour
Reality: Mr. Tumble

Haircut with 'French girl' fringe with bob:
Expectation: chic; emphasised eyes; Audrey Hepburn/Tatou vibe
Reality: Richard III

Hideous.

Reality: Richard III

😆

Oh my people.

I, in theory, should be easy to dress. Long legs, size 10, proportional...

However. This is absolutely not the case.

My legs ARE long...which means that mini skirts are either micro mini on me or cut off on the muscle that wraps around my thigh and onto my knee at some weird length, which makes my normally perfectly average thighs, are suddenly thunderous and a hexagonal shape.

Maxi length is too short.
Midi...just no.
Knee length....I look like I've been cut off at my knees. My calves are not good. Stupid calves

My body, seems to have very random pockets of loose wobbly fat ...so fitted shirts at the wrong angle make me look like a sausage..... A very undercooked anemic sausage.

Loose flowy clothing - should suit me, everyone tries to put me in them. I acquiesce to the demands occasionally and always get

"Oh. ... Well....maybe a belt? Maybe ...yeah no. Not that outfit at all"

Richard III.....I am absolutely dying! 🤣🤣🤣

chin length Bob and tried sexy boho beach curls… more layers than I though and I wear glasses so more of a mrs brown boys

The classic fucking trench.

I try it roughly once every ten years, hoping I’ve matured into it.

Last time, I walked into work and my friend went, ‘Doodle oodle oo, Inspector Gadget…’

Only another seven years until I try again…

I laughed out loud at doodle oodle ooo😂

last summer- I thought I would wear a maxi dress with some pretty sandals to go into town, and look effortlessly cool in a boho chic sort of a way. Nope, caught a glimpse in a shop window of myself and I looked like someone had rolled a squashed tomato in a curtain, as I hobbled up the high street red faced and sweating profusely from the effort of walking with blisters from my rarely worn sandals.

I have the classic trench. An actual photo of me wearing it: