What do you wear to look understated sexy in your 40s?

[SoledOut]

I knew how to look sexy with no effort when I was younger, and I've always been one to dress down not up (London influence)
But now my body is a bit more lumpy and I don't like getting my arms or legs out, how can I look like I've made the effort to dress up without looking like a try hard?
I'm single again after many years in a LTR and although the pubs and bars aren't open yet, they will be and I want to go on the pull (I realise that might not be allowed anytime this year, but I'm an optimist!)

Following. To be honest my going out is a version of what I have always worn out, heels, black jeans, a top and a leather jacket. For smarter a dress. Plus a good haircut.

Expensive clothes in nice fabrics. Eg silk vest under slouchy cashmere jumper.

I am not sexy, understated or otherwise, but Nigella would be my role model if that was my goal.

I think being feminine in style and confident in manner seems to achieve it.

@OutOfBread

Following. To be honest my going out is a version of what I have always worn out, heels, black jeans, a top and a leather jacket. For smarter a dress. Plus a good haircut.

I wish I could do heels, my feet have been in trainers for 20 years and they will not accept heels

I think sexy is more of an attitude; feeling good about yourself and what you have on. I like plush, soft fabrics in an outfit that shows off my silhouette.

I will usually pick sexy on top or bottom if that makes sense so a shorter skirt with a looser top.

Whenever we do go out I'll be wearing one of these new bodysuits I've got and probably black pleather jogger style trousers but with flat boots definitely no heels!

These are the trousers I'm planning to wear whenever we are let out.

I'm also a big fan of jumpsuits and have some that can be dressed up or down.

Placemarking

Skinny jeans with a silk shirt, half tucked. Make sure you wear colours that suit you

Just thought of another one op my DH thinks that a woman in a suit jacket done up to show a peak of cleavage or bra is very sexy.

I don't like the look personally and feel like I've just forgotten to get dressed for work properly and I always think it must be quite hot and you can't exactly take the jacket off...well you could but then it would be a full blown sexy outfit rather than understated sexy. so it doesn't make me feel sexy but might work for you.

I don't think it can be achieved when you're not a fit young thing anymore. Over 40, you have to make an effort. Wear good underwear, silk,cashmere, and make sure it flatters your body. Skin must be in good condition, scrub off any dead skin cells, moisturise and fake tan. Make sure nails are manicured, hair is in good condition and cut well, not too much makeup.

I wear... big earrings, a haughty expression, and jersey or knitted long sleeve crew neck body con midi dresses. Everything is covered, and relatively demure, apart from the curvy hourglass which never fails to turn heads. va-va-voom.

shiny pvc pencil skirts and fishnet tights always works, too, but it's hardly 'understated'. (haha).

Slouchy off the shoulder knitwear, lovely bra strap or silky camisole showing. Ponchos are very forgiving, understated and can be quite glamorous with glossy hair, the right earrings and a bit of collar bone showing. This kind of vibe:

https://www.woolovers.com/womens/poncho/womens-cashmere-merino-blend-button-poncho-black-16024?gclid=Cj0KCQiA3smABhCjARIsAKtrg6Lmcf1tH-3SznGwVJtkFymk8-QTMQHlZMV5KjjnoI45YcQfH3cEIoaAvPUEALww_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Pick a part of your body that you think is sexy and show it off. I love long sleeved, wide leg jumpsuits, with side splits up to slightly above the knee. I also feel sexy in slimmer cut tops as I love my boobs and waist but don’t like my tummy and hips so pair them with floaty skirts or close fitting high waisted shorts.

Pointed flats make me feel sexy too. I can’t wear heels though.

Thanks for all the ideas, anyone recommend any shops/brands which are aimed at our age group but are not Toast etc?

I'm just 50. I'm not sure anyone would call me sexy but people seem to find me attractive. I go for comfortable things I can have fun in. There is nothing less sexy than a woman who can't move properly in her tight clothes and high heels imo.

A typical casual pub outfit for me would be a body skimming jersey dress and trainers or coated jeans, flat chunky boots and a flowy top.

@Sickoffamilydrama That’s a look that I would class as sexy, it looks great. I would go with tuxedo trousers with that look

Focus on how you think, move and feel rather than what you’re wearing - in other words feel sexy inside and exude that sexy vibe.

Beyond that I agree with others, I love a silk top and trousers or skirt. Dresses are lovely too. Heels if you want, but not too high.

I agree with pp, covered up is much more sexy. Mystique is a big part of it.

Re question about which brands for over 40s I like Madeleine and phase eight.

Oh forgot to say I think jumpsuits are very sexy. I like my sexiness to be elegant & sophisticated.

Just thought of another one op my DH thinks that a woman in a suit jacket done up to show a peak of cleavage or bra is very sexy

That’s a really dated look, very eighties. Is he in his fifties or sixties by any chance?

Op, sexy and elegant tends to be well fitted clothes that you feel good in.

We are all different, for me it’s something like straight indigo jeans, heeled suede boots, ans a silk sleeveless round neck top, or something similar to this kind of look. But we all have different looks. For example I am not a fan of dresses, or anything low cut or too short. It’s all about what suits your individual body shape and what you like.

The only thing I’d caution against is trying too hard.

I'm in my 30s but think a lot of the advice given is not that understated or sexy or fashionable.

Prime example a suit jacket with a peek doesn't have to be 80s and personally I think trouser suits can look amazing.

I’m not particularly fashionable but my partner seems to like me in wrap dresses. My arms are covered, they emphasise my waist and I usually wear v necks or cowl necks as I have big boobs.

I think the keys things are good grooming not overly so but clean, moisturised skin, tidy hair etc. Clothes that fit your body shape but not too tight.
Texture so silk shirts, leather, wool etc.
Trainers can work too

@Sickoffamilydrama
I love those bodysuits, where are they from? I think you seem very stylish