What do you wear to look understated sexy in your 40s?

[SoledOut]

I knew how to look sexy with no effort when I was younger, and I've always been one to dress down not up (London influence)
But now my body is a bit more lumpy and I don't like getting my arms or legs out, how can I look like I've made the effort to dress up without looking like a try hard?
I'm single again after many years in a LTR and although the pubs and bars aren't open yet, they will be and I want to go on the pull (I realise that might not be allowed anytime this year, but I'm an optimist!)

I think men can have different ideas about what looks sexy. Dh is all about the obvious- a tight dress, short skirt, low top. But I was doing all that from the age of 16, so feels odd in my 40s. I am tall, and slim, so can carry off the Katherine Hepburn wide trousers and blouse look, with high heels. Dh would not see that as a sexy look, but I would. Now.

I just don't think a very short tight dress with heels would be understated sexy. It's more obvious.

@marbellamarc

I just don't think a very short tight dress with heels would be understated sexy. It's more obvious.

Yes, I agree with this. Tight dress with flats or trainers better for understated. I also think figure has a lot to do with it. If you're slight and slim tighter clothes can look less overt than if you are bigger.

I have a Rixo short dress which I love but I would only ever wear it with flats & minimal jewellery, make up, hair. I am 5ft 10 though which means things can be pretty short on me.

I also think figure has a lot to do with it. If you're slight and slim tighter clothes can look less overt than if you are bigger.

Agree

I love a bit of fashion, trying on new looks, keeping up with trends

Then on an off day, I wander around in an old Seasalt dress and DH raves about how sexy I look and a friend says to his wife: why do you never wear dresses like that

I mean honestly, why bother😂 ... seasalt!

The friend who’s DH like my floral dress is much more fashionable and looks amazing in All Saints and French labels

(ps don’t worry it caused no ruffled feathers, my friend knows she’s better dressed than me and very confident)

It just made me realise what men like and what women like are different things

High-waisted dress with flared skirt, high heels, opaque tights. Covers my big belly, but shows my good legs!

@marbellamarc

I just think the top looks very cheap.

I like Reformation but a rib dress is very hard to pull off at any age.

Well it is cheap! Will it be more acceptable if I find a version from Reiss?

It’s so interesting though, the differences in what men and women find sexy. It was the midst of summer, I had no makeup on and was wearing a tight t shirt and ankle length pleated skirt to work to try to keep cool. I thought I looked like an absolute state but I got hit on twice ( I’m very booby, maybe it’s them).

DP reckons you may attract a naice man by looking effortless (I said Reiss has nice stuff that you could wear to a job in the city then go for after work drinks in). He reckons that probably looks like an understated sexy (I’m. It a fan 😂).

Dh hates my pleated skirts I have a fair few and love how they swish. They probably also remind me of my mum in the 80s.

Well it is cheap! Will it be more acceptable if I find a version from Reiss?

You couldn't wear it near a candle! 🤣

@marbellamarc

Well it is cheap! Will it be more acceptable if I find a version from Reiss?

You couldn't wear it near a candle! 🤣

In your 20s you can wear it under the big bright lights. At my age the candle would probably be kinder, so good point.😁

My DH likes limited makeup, natural hair, combats and a vest top with boots. I'm happy with that.

Yes candlelight is 👌🏼

It's a cliche but men do like a fitted white tshirt & jeans & also floral dresses.

I remember wearing a floral style tea dress at an event & was really hit on. I looked crap, as was recovering from pneumonia so a bit pasty & sweaty still 😆

Note to self:
Purchase t shirt, tea dress , tea lights....

Gillian Anderson is my idea of timeless sexy. Her wardrobe in Sex Education was stunning. She had a blouse just like that one up thread that may have been cheap but would fit right in at Sezane in silk. Don’t know if men think her clothes are sexy but if I thought I looked anything like her I’d be giving off such fuck-me vibes i could be wearing a sack.

I think if you take care of the staples like nice, glossy hair and good skin (which also make you feel more confident) everything else can be more forgiving. Groomed brows and nails ( I like natural nails, shorter and neutral colour for every day and colour for night out). Perfume is a must!

Well fitting clothes either leg or cleavage not both when older. I like Reiss, All Saints, Hugo Boss and French Connection. Being smiley,
confident and not taking yourself too seriously helps.

Oh yes, loved Gillian A’s wardrobe in Sex Education and sat taking notes - not about the actual sex education, I’m a lost cause there. More her clothes!

It's a cliche but men do like a fitted white tshirt & jeans & also floral dresses.

All men? 😂 I don't think they do. DH hates floral dresses - I like them so I wear them but he definitely prefers jeans and t shirts over either of the looks you describe.

Obvs not all men didn't think I needed to make the distinction.

men do like a fitted white tshirt & jeans

he definitely prefers jeans and t shirts over either of the looks you describe.

What's so different about your jeans & t-shirt's? 😆

@marbellamarc Well I suppose I mean he wouldn't really prefer the 'fitted white t-shirt' look over an oversized band T, for example. I don't consider 'jeans and t shirt' to be just one look really, sorry I should have made that clearer.

You seen to have taken a little offense to my comment, please don't, it certainly wasn't intended.

No I was just confused by it.

Yeah, Gillian Anderson ever since The Fall. I have a whole wardrobe of slinky blouses, thanks to her. Who'd have thought Sully would become a style icon?

Scully

Yes she is a good example