What do you wear to look understated sexy in your 40s?

[SoledOut]

I knew how to look sexy with no effort when I was younger, and I've always been one to dress down not up (London influence)
But now my body is a bit more lumpy and I don't like getting my arms or legs out, how can I look like I've made the effort to dress up without looking like a try hard?
I'm single again after many years in a LTR and although the pubs and bars aren't open yet, they will be and I want to go on the pull (I realise that might not be allowed anytime this year, but I'm an optimist!)

🤣 you've probably nailed it there, laughing at whoever said he's sixty his taste in what he finds women sexy in obviously ages him 20 years as only in our early 40s.

For those that asked the bodysuits are both from next but one is their own brand the other is Reiss.

Was supposed to quote this in my other post 🤦‍♀️

Seriously, you don't have to be that slim to be sexy, a lot of men seem to like curves!
Well I'm curvy & not currently slim but it doesn't stop good looking often younger men flirting with me at work etc.
I think what women see as fat & what men see as fat are different things.

I'm not on any dating apps right now, I'd prefer to meet a man in RL.

I am in my late 20s but love fashion (and I work in the industry ) so I thought I’d hop on here!
What about places like Cos and Arket?I love the fabrics/shapes. They nice tailored items, a lot of the models are styled with trainers too!
Another vote for Maje

Why can't trainers be sexy? I think sexiness is also to do with attitude as opposed to just your clothes. Lots of attractive people can be dressed very well but have zero sex appeal.

Trainers do look good! I wear them a lot personally. But you have to be careful when going out at night as lots of venues in my area won't let you in wearing trainers.

Whatever suits your body. I'm tall and slim with very short crisp silver grey hair and blue eyes. Me- loose cut jeans, interesting man's shirt or floaty top if summer, my Chelsea boots, my favourite indigo blue 'chinese worker' jacket or my dark blue/black Trench & Coat long wool coat. A silk scarf. Jasmine oil dabbed on, no make up.

Regarding places to shop, I can only afford the cheaper end of the high street so I try to make it work for me;
I do tend to change even 'classic' items like jeans regularly as cuts & trends change and you don't want to end up looking a bit frumpy really.

Anyway I like fashion & always have done.

@joystir59

Whatever suits your body. I'm tall and slim with very short crisp silver grey hair and blue eyes. Me- loose cut jeans, interesting man's shirt or floaty top if summer, my Chelsea boots, my favourite indigo blue 'chinese worker' jacket or my dark blue/black Trench & Coat long wool coat. A silk scarf. Jasmine oil dabbed on, no make up.

I so wish I could pull off an interesting man's shirt - having sizeable boobs (no matter what my weight) almost always means they can look 'sexy' in a shirt.

I do want to get a new pair of Chelsea boots as my old ones are I think damaged beyond repair.

Just seen the end of your comment @Battytwatty thank you that's kind to say.

Isn't it interesting how different everyone's thoughts on sexy are. I reckon OP you should try a few different things, experiment a bit at home as well and then wear what makes you feel good.

I've recently got back into clothes after feeling a bit blah since child no 3 and I forgot how important it is to wear things that make you feel good.

Come back and show us pictures please 🙏 love some clothing inspiration especially from "real" women

It's the little things. Great smile, a nice necklace on a collar bone, smelling amazing, a bit of a heel. Tactile fabrics in a touch me kind of way.

No one has mentioned accessories? For me a nice, good quality bag, preferably on chain strap is a sexy look; see also decent belts and shoes.

Also - for me - styled hair, good makeup (in my experience post-40 cheap foundation look dreadful on me). Just groomed - not OTT but showing an effort. Post-divorce and dating I had makeup done professionally a few times and I loved it. It made a big difference to how I applied products.

I'm a nightmare for buying stuff (I've not been out in forever) but still persist in curating my wardrobe 🤔. I LOVE Depop, eBay and several Facebook groups fir good quality bargains - current obsessions are B&ASH, Sezane and Maje. I love the nonchalantly sexiness they have.

@courtrai could you link to the facebook groups please? I really want to look for some good quality clothes but can't afford 'new' prices

@CleverCatty
The irony of your own statement is clearly lost on you.
Pity.

My dh finds cool and boho sexy, so trainers are fine by him!

For me a nice, good quality bag, preferably on chain strap is a sexy

I love a bag but don't see how a nice one has any impact on looking sexy.

so wish I could pull off an interesting man's shirt - having sizeable boobs (no matter what my weight) almost always means they can look 'sexy' in a shirt.

I have boobs & dislike them. Think they can make shirts look matronly.

I think men are fairly straightforward aren't they? I mean, cleavage and fishnets really.

@marbellamarc

For me a nice, good quality bag, preferably on chain strap is a sexy

I love a bag but don't see how a nice one has any impact on looking sexy.

I do - for years I had one handbag, it came with me everywhere but was essentially a sack full of detritus. Now I've broadened my collection. You can put together the most beautiful outfit but if you're lugging around a daysack full of rubbish it rather spoils the look. Plus when I was dating I tended to fiddle - nerves I know - but I found a bag a handy prop so it needs to look good

Most men, perhaps, although there are some complex beasties amongst them who appreciate elegant sex-appeal.

Well there is a lot of advice to on here!

I am presuming that you won’t be doing any of this until summer at the earliest, so the good news is you have tons of time to work things out.

I’d be going along the lines of basic linen jumpsuits and T-shirt’s, dark jeans, strappy flat sandals and cool jewellery.

I’ve always done understated when going out and although I’ve not been single in years it always it always seemed to help attract the right kind of guys for me.

This kind of thing

Yes lovely clothes but boiler suits and wacky earrings aren't sexy. You probably look cool and funky rather than sexy.

Sezane is good, although too £££ for me. I get inspired by their website and find similar at H and M.

Good luck.

IMO I look understated sexy!