My wife and I married 6 months ago.
She has a 17 year old daughter who lives with us full time.
I have a 6 year old daughter from a previous relationship who stays with us 2 nights a week on average.
Ever since I proposed to my wife 18 months ago my daughter has just stopped interacting with her. When she comes and stays she says hello and goodnight/goodbye and that’s about it. When asked why she says she doesn’t know and is reluctant to talk about it. I’m sure her mother has said something to cause this but both her and my daughter deny this.
It’s causing massive stress and arguments in the house. My wife dreads the time my daughter stays with us. There have been instances where she has banned her from staying overnight and tries to alter or cancel the allocated time my daughter stays.
When my daughter is with us my wife never wants to do anything with us. 2-3 days befor she will start an argument and the whole weekend is spent walking on egg shells with me trying to give both of them equal attention, something my wife claims I rarely achieve.
My wife’s 17 year old daughter and I get on well and I always make an effort to involve myself in her life and take an active interest in her wellbeing. (Her natural dad died when she was 5) I try my best to me a positive male influence.
Whenever my daughters name comes up in conversation my wife is derogatory towards her and I struggle to listen to it. I rarely talk to my wife about my daughter and any contact between me and my daughters mother is always done away from my wife as she massively resents her.
I understand it is upsetting for my wife to be ignored in her own house by my daughter and I have tried everything to get to the bottom of the reasons why. But I feel the relationship between my daughter and I is deteriorating and I’m petrified she will one day say she doesn’t want to come and stay because of my wife.
I genuinely don’t know what to do.
Does anyone else have a similar situation or any advice ?