The Goose and Carrot Pub Thread

[roaringdragon]

Everyone is welcome, and the thread disappears after 90 days.

Thank you for the last thread @lougle. I hope the doctor was helpful and DD2 isn’t feeling too rubbish this morning.

DS1 has used the last of his EOTAS hours today. There will be at least a few weeks before the EHCP is finalised and funding restarts. He will hopefully have his operation during that time, but it is still going to feel like a long time without that provision.

I hope the funeral goes well @drspouse .

Today has not gone well. Boiler man has been and gone - parts on order. Contractors and surveyors have been and planned works. Solar panel engineer has come and rebooted the system.

DD2 did not manage college. She was only meant to be in for 1½ hours, but firstly, we had no idea where the LSA would meet her. In the early mornings the SEN team stand at a table by the reception entrance. We found the SEN lead's room and she said we should meet the LSA outside the classroom. We went back over to the building, but DD2 didn't know where the classroom was. The building is called the North West 1 building, the classroom is S473, but the rooms a) don't have an S in front of the number, and b) don't follow a clear '1st floor/ground floor' system. By this point, DD2 was saying she wanted to go home and was hot and close to tears. We persevered and went back to reception, where we were told the room location. We got there to find no teacher, and no LSA. So we went back to the SEN lead and she explained that the LSA had messaged her to say that the previous class she was supporting in had overrun. There is no crossover time, so one class finishes at the same time as the next class starts, but the LSA has to make her way from one to the other. When DD2 heard the LSA's name she said "I don't even know who that is.", and said she couldn't do it and needed to go home.

I've explained that this isn't going to work for DD2. She needs to know who her staff will be and for them to meet her outside of the building. It isn't going to work for her to have to navigate her way through groups of students to wait for a LSA.

@roaringdragon My LA has confirmed in an email that they will do an EHCNA of DGD, seven days before they had to get their response in. Does DS need to get a consenting order from the tribunal, or can he take the LA’s word for it?

(I have known parents in the past, who cancelled a hearing because the LA promised to make provisions specific in the statement/EHC plan; before the LA issued the amended statement/EHC plan and then the LA reneged on it)

@drspouse

I hope the funeral goes well too. Sorry, I missed that it was today.

@Lougle

Oh dear. I guess with building work you expect some hitches along the way but not good about College. How appallingly bad. Have they apologised? Do they have a plan to improve things and be better?

DC got to College. I know this because I dropped DC off this morning but outreach worker said DC made it to classes. They do help them navigate around the College etc but also I e mailed a list of queries about study spaces, lunch and quiet spaces, what the study support would involve. Nothing weird or out of the ordinary for a SEN parent to ask and they’re getting back to me when they have the information. I do feel I’m visiting a parallel universe sometimes and I just want it all to stop. I hope College steps up for your DD!

@LathkillDale

Good news. Never trust the LA or school! I’ll leave @roaringdragon to answer your question properly.

@drspouse I’m glad the meds review went well. I hope the funeral goes as well as it can.

@LathkillDale another disabled person failed.

Your DS doesn’t need to withdraw the appeal and he doesn’t need a consent Order. A consent Order is only relevant when the LA has already responded to the appeal. Instead, the LA needs to notify SENDIST the appeal is unopposed.

University support is so much easier to secure, isn’t it? Although DSA has become tighter over recent years and may become more so following the consultation earlier this year.

@Fififizz unless you are happy for people to know the school, I would ask MNHQ to delete your last post. There are very few schools that cater to that cohort and it is incredibly easy to work out the school if you know it. Strangely, one of the other schools who cater to for the same cohort and is very similar to your DC’s school also rides on its previous success and good reputation and has experienced a similar decline but the slide has been even greater, IMO.

@Lougle I’m sorry DD2 didn’t manage college. That all sounds incredibly stressful and chaotic. It is frustrating that the college didn’t realise DD2 needs more. I hope the college puts together a plan that is going to work for DD2. Your house is going to be like a whole new house by the end.

@roaringdragon

Thank you. I had been careful but can see it’s possible to join the dots. I’ve reported my own post as a safeguarding concern. I’m not sure how to request mumsnet HQ to remove it. I’ll try and find out.

@Fififizz if you have reported your post, that is reporting it to MNHQ. I took so long to write my pp, that when I said ‘last post’ it wasn’t actually your last post. It is your post at 16.17 that I think gives away the school.

@roaringdragon Thank you for the swift reply. Yes, it is another disabled person failed big time!

@roaringdragon

Yes, it’s gone. Thank you!

Hope the funeral goes as well as it can @drspouse

Sorry about DD2 @Lougle hope its solvable.

Trying to decide what to do about boiler - I think choices will be either move it to laundry room which is next door but will be expensive and may cause issues with having a sink or to get a fused spur though are trying to confirm with electrician and plumber and project on hold until we can resolve.

DH wants to move the boiler and says then DS won't switch it off. I think he'll still switch it off and it'll be very expensive to move and may jeopardise the sink and I want a sink. Hopefully a solution can be found but its going to raise costs again. If by some miracle DS does stop turning the boiler off then it will pay for itself in a year but I have low expectations with DS. And even then they are still too high at times. I ordered 2 packets of blackberries so DS would have one and we had one but nope in less than 24 hours both have gone. Trying to get plumber round to find a solution.

Whilst waiting for that went to do gardening with DH - just clearing leaves and cleaning from silkies. Go back in and realise DS in still in the bath so we go back out and garden some more and plant some daffodils and hyacinth. There was a branch down as well which we cleared looked like DS may have pulled it down by accident. That's all sorted along with the clementine peel and apples he left round the garden. The silkies were very happy and singing. I really hope they don't dig up the bulbs. Then he came downstairs so we came back in and I could have a bath and DH has gone to piano lesson. The neighbour has their tree surgeon in tomorrow also coming into our garden but have pre warned DS.

@Lougle - our boiler and the electric central control unit (or whatever it is) are both in our utility room, with the sink, washing machine and tumble drier. I believe it’s the fashion to have them all together? A central control room or something like that?

(We had it done as part of our extension, as we needed a power vent system to get the water to a shower upstairs and downstairs, a long way from the tank in the loft).

Thanks @LathkillDale Yes I think they would make sense to put together, its just cost of moving the boiler and also one plumber came out and said there may be an issue with where we would need to put sink due to distance from drain which is in downstairs bathroom. I think its still possible its whether it will cause issues with the sink and how they plumb it. We need a second plumber around anyway to assess as that one doesn't do gas boilers. Its potentially a better solution but likely another £1.5k on the bill and I was originally trying to do things as low cost as possible. But that's kind of gone out the window. 😂

Can you just have it boxed in with a lockable cabinet @Violasilkie ?

Or if he's flipping a switch something like this cover could help.

It seems a bit extreme to relocate the boiler.

If it's a time switch that he's switching off, there's This one

@Lougle

I wondered about boxing it in with a padlock. A student digs I once lived in did this to prevent over use of the heating! You can get some boilers somehow controlled by a Hive phone app now I think too but I have no idea how those work.

Thanks @Lougle The boiler issue is as we will be adding a bath to the downstairs bathroom in theory which adds a zone 1 meaning the boiler plug cannot be used as insufficient distance. So from looking it up options are either a fused spur, we don't think just moving socket outside will be an option due to distance / doors etc or to move boiler. Though we need to check with plumber and electrician what is possible. DH is very keen on moving boiler. But it will just be in the next room a few metres from where it is now and it'll still be hearable so I think DS will still switch it off though who knows. It would be nicer moved but suspect it'll be about £1.5k to move it though will need to get quote. Personally would just do the fused spur but DH is really keen on moving it but we need a decision before we can carry on with project as it affects sink location, type of sink, worktop, plumbing, electrics.

Thanks @Fififizz I think ours in theory has an app but DS has managed to deactivate it - he took the whole boiler apart before during the night and he can break into everything. He caused chaos in hospital taking out every fire alarm and a lot of their security alarms just to annoy them as they were annoying him. He even got through metal before.

@Violasilkie I hope you find a workable solution.

DS1 had 3 roast potatoes and a carrot baton today. The most he has eaten orally in quite a while.

@Violasilkie

Gosh, he’s very highly skilled. I can think of various industries that could use those skills but frustrating for you and the boiler situation.

@roaringdragon

That sounds very positive that DS1 managed to eat something.

DC is not himself at all. I’m hoping this week is better. His new treatment plan has come through. It’s the same as before as he won’t consider changing meds. They’re stimulants and so help focus but not helpful to his current anxious state. He’s refused melatonin to help sleep or considering trying another med because of titration which can take ages. We had this when he started. He started meds just before mocks and was angry with me about their impact yet he was the one who decided he wanted to try them. I definitely wasn’t pushing meds just a dx. Now the ones he’s on have helped him with his focus for GCSE’s he won’t change them but College days are much longer and his appetite is negativity impacted too by everything that’s going on including the meds.

@Lougle the launch into the setting is vital and so so so simple to achieve, it doesn’t need specialist knowledge, just turn up stick to the agreed plan. It kills trust getting it wrong. I really feel for DD2 it would have been a huge build up for her mentally.

@roaringdragon oh celebrations! Lovely bit of food triumph for DS1 what a star.

Thanks @roaringdragon That's good about your DS eating orally.

@Fififizz Sorry your DS is not himself. Mine is a complete meds refuser. He is amazing at undoing electrical things and at least he always manages to do it safely but he needed a team of electricians at hospital to keep up with him and the boiler took a team of electricians to put back. I hope at some point it can be put towards something useful but not looking hopeful at the moment. The electrician we had round looked about his age (19) and I thought I hope it inspires him but people haven't so far but he does respond to gadgets like cooking things. He does DIY at times as well but whatever he has decided and just small things like putting a door handle back.

Heard from boiler plumber and he's said can stay but put it in a cupboard. DH still insisting he wants it moved but that will be really expensive and just a couple of metres away from where it is now so can't really see the point. Have messaged electrician to check if he can sort electrics. Asked DH why and he couldn't come up with a good reason other than DS may stop turning boiler off but I think sound won't be much different so I suspect he will carry on. We are all set up with alternative heaters and currently its very warm here still. The only difference I guess is the bathroom has a lock on door (which DS has a habit of locking then leaving through the window 🤔climbing over the sink) but DS is like spiderman / a mastermind burglar and will find a way into anything. At the end in hospital they used to keep finding him on the ceiling and they were like how on earth can he get up there but he could to take out all their smoke alarms. And they would move him to repair one and then he'd take out the one in the next room and so it went on and on then the door security system got dismantled. And the CCTV.

@roaringdragon that's awesome. I'm glad he prioritised the potatoes. Roast potatoes are the best.

We're back in SAU. DD2's pain and nausea increased and didn't improve with cocodamol. Luckily she has open access until tomorrow afternoon, so we've bypassed A&E.

@Lougle ☕️ 🍰