Dear black people of mumsnet

[PatricksRum]

Ideas for a black section on mumsnet.

Should we have separate sections i.e black hair and beauty, black parenting, black cooking or a general black section?

Link to previous

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4018383-black-section-on-mn

And Meme I will gladly take the second bundle of hair from your brothers to make my wig.😅

@PatricksRum

For fuck sake.

When a black woman explains how she feels just shut up and listen.

Why do white people keep commenting trying to defend? It's not about you!!!!

Have some respect.

Learn by listening not speaking.

I thought you said you weren't here to educate us. So, with all due respect, why do you then demand that we listen?

In any case, some of us have listened, and read, and gone out of our way to research topics of which we know little, in order to understand and appreciate your point of view in a way that we didn't before.

But that doesn't matter to you, does it? Because all you want to do is demand that we shut up. Like I said before, you can't have it both ways. If you want white people to support you more, then why don't you think about how that could be achieved? Because berating those of us who are doing our best is not going to get you anywhere, is it?

Why do people get so defensive, I can't get my head round it.
What's wrong with shutting up and listening? If it doesn't apply to you and you are listening, what's the problem?
Saying listen isn't saying people are educating you. Education is on you, (general you) the onus is on yourself to do that.
Sitting down and reading for yourself.

@Codexdivinchi I'm mixed Black Caribbean.

But what made you think I'm white? Genuinely asking.

[quote AMemeByAnyOtherName]@Codexdivinchi I'm mixed Black Caribbean. [/quote]
Ah ok apologies I misread your post up thread. I think I’ve got you confused with a poster who said she was white but had Afro hair due to ancestors.

Sorry

No need to apologise no offence taken at all. It's not often on MN I get to feel proud to shout I'M NOT WHITE

@Dastardlythefriendlymutt

And Meme I will gladly take the second bundle of hair from your brothers to make my wig.😅

they're now the unwilling participants in our new hair business then 🤣

@AMemeByAnyOtherName

No need to apologise no offence taken at all. It's not often on MN I get to feel proud to shout I'M NOT WHITE

I know it's all over bar the shouting, but I wanted to add my support to you personally, @PatricksRum, late though I am to the party. You didn't come across as rude to me; I think being forthright is perfectly justified in the circumstances, and that's the way I'd describe your posts. Not a problem.

I have always wanted to make jollof rice but have never had it and now live in the backwaters of Devon so unlikely to

Apologies if this has already been suggested/rejected. Could the rather simple 'Black Matters' be the main title so that it encompasses both the area in which discussions and subsections are found but the philosophy of Black lives matter. (I mean in general rather than political movements)

@flyingsnozwanger

Why not?

My skin is not black.

We do need a section for those from Africa and the diaspora. Just don't call it "black".

Huh? I still don’t understand why you feel a topic cannot have a black title?

If you want to lobby for a Africa and diaspora thread then feel free but that shouldn’t negate the need for a Black topic?

@Leakinglikeacolander

Apologies if this has already been suggested/rejected. Could the rather simple 'Black Matters' be the main title so that it encompasses both the area in which discussions and subsections are found but the philosophy of Black lives matter. (I mean in general rather than political movements)

I like this. This and Black Perspectives are my current favourites.

I’m white but I can’t see what’s offensive about this idea.

If you want to talk about black hair and make up, fine by me!

@Incrediblytired

I’m white but I can’t see what’s offensive about this idea.

If you want to talk about black hair and make up, fine by me!

I agree.

Unfortunately a lot of white people feel uncomfortable accepting they have privilege and feel threatened. In response they either defend or attack. Quite sad really.

I admit the first time I heard the notion I thought, what!!, how can this apply to me? in Ireland, where everybody else (almost) is white too, and I'm a single parent and broke, and judged. I identify with our status as the victims of ''The 800 years so it was a GEAR CHANGE for me to acknowledge white privilege '' but I do get it after I paused to think it through. For all of the hardship (financial) that we endured in my DCs childhood, I've never had to choose to send him to a good school where he'd be an outsider or a school with poorer results where he'd feel he fitted in. I never had to have The Talk with him because if he gets in to trouble I suppose the gardai will look at the facts. I don't worry that people in positions of power will give everything he does the most negative interpretation instead giving him benefit of the doubt.

@elppaenipBut that doesn't matter to you, does it? Because all you want to do is demand that we shut up. Like I said before, you can't have it both ways. If you want white people to support you more, then why don't you think about how that could be achieved? Because berating those of us who are doing our best is not going to get you anywhere, is it?

I agree, it is not so much what is said as how it is said. Rude, just rude. Not about race, colour or creed, just simple rudeness for the sake of it under the guise of everyone else being the enemy. We really aren't, but you approach other posters in that way all the time.

You see rude, I see assertive and not bowing down to all this crap

@PatricksRum

I thought you said you weren't here to educate us. So, with all due respect, why do you then demand that we listen? When a black person is telling you how they feel about the racism they face from white people you should shut the fuck up and listen.

In any case, some of us have listened, and read, and gone out of our way to research topics of which we know little, in order to understand and appreciate your point of view in a way that we didn't before.
Great. Gold star for you. I frequently research things I don't understand. Like why white people try to take over.

But that doesn't matter to you, does it? Because all you want to do is demand that we shut up. Like I said before, you can't have it both ways. If you want white people to support you more, then why don't you think about how that could be achieved? Because berating those of us who are doing our best is not going to get you anywhere, is it?
No, it doesn't matter. The onus is on you.
Yes, I'd be grateful if you shut up.
I don't need support from white people.
What we need is for you white people to stop killing us.

There really is no prospect of having anything resembling a reasonable discussion with you, is there?

Unlike in many parts of the world, here in the UK we have freedom of speech, and I'm sure that we are all grateful for that privilege. We are all entitled to an opinion, which you have admirably demonstrated. A discussion about that opinion doesn't have to be a disagreement - it can be a mutually beneficial exchanging of views, following which both parties can agree, or agree to disagree. But of course some people are only ever interested in their own opinion.

I don't need support from white people. One of the posters upthread said exactly the opposite. I am referring to the post at 23.45 yesterday by @anewdispensation to whom I was addressing my original reply. Perhaps their stance is subtly different from yours.

WiserOlder

@BlueThistles

Mumsnet are creating a section, they agreed already.

great, thank you 🌺

Glad that this decision was made

Have you agreed what the new section will be called yet?
Or is there a list of suggestions?

You see rude, I see assertive and not bowing down to all this crap

Have we had "uppity" yet? I've filled the first few bingo cards but still have one or two squares to mark.

Perhaps their stance is subtly different from yours

Bugger. I forgot we are a hive mind. Perhaps the OP did as well.

Unlike in many parts of the world, here in the UK we have freedom of speech

Please show me the legislation or act of parliament that says this, freedom of speech is an american principle, most often quoted in 2020 by racists who want freedom from consequences of what they say

Patricks as a white person I support you fully, and will hopefully learn more about the struggles Black and other POC experience in Britain on a probably daily basis whether through blatant racism or in micro aggression form