I want tickers and avatars .... I appreciate others may have an opinion on this, which is lovely, and good for you. I'm not going to be dissuaded though.

[HoneyDragon]

The site is a smorgasbord board of pointless lary coloured sales pitch and bumph.

It's bursting with venomous spite and bilious stupidness some days (amongst the stalwart niceness soldiering on regardless) , so on those days I'd like to see a spot of cheer.

A unicorn crapping a rainbow, or a humorous meerkat picture with a whimsical caption.

I want kittens and puppies and flowers.

I want tickers telling me how long it was since the poster last handed out grips.

We've been told Mumsnet is moving on.

If it is, I want the the future to be sparkly and twee to the fucking max.

I try. God knows I try.

What colour for the Christmas posts?

Gold and silver for Christmas? Or maybe only gold in December/designated christmas discussing periods?

See, Four, you're coming round to this already. You know bit makes sense.

Where ARE mnhq? I thought they monitored site stuff?

Do they now just ignore ALL my posts?

I was wondering if they just looked in and ran away screaming.
Or possibly they are running on a giant hamster wheel to keep the site going

Hamster wheel you say...?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=ELcbhxae9wQ

Hang on, why would an internet-savvy adult google rainbow cock?

Maryz is not who she says she is!

I'm getting quite vexed that my thread is not been treated with the gravitas it deserves.

Ah, this thread is giving me the laugh (and kittens) I needed today .

I love, love the SpongeBob "nobody cares" rainbow . It's amazing it is.

How about this being an option for posters who like to have a guess at the current UK laws on things?

I have no gravitas. Officially. I went on a course and came away empty handed. Will gravlax do?

How about this for dull threads.

Can you get video tickers? Mumsnet posts can contain a link to a video, only shows as video on some devices though. There might be a limit to the number per day, so could mean you could only reply a certain number of times!

THERE WILL BE NO COMPROMISE

THERE WILL BE SPARKLY SHIT AND UNICORN FARTS FOR ALL.

I demand tickers!
How else am I supposed to know how old my kids are?

Come on MNHQ sort this out now!

Gravit-arse? Anyone got one of those instead?

A gravitational field, produced by a mumsnetter large of arse, could be what's causing the slowness of late. Although I'm not sure if gravit-arse is the field-producing arse, or the arse-produced field.

Actual lol @ the glittery turd
MZ, you win the Internet.