TDWP and recent goings-on

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

We thought it would be useful to explain our understanding of what occurred last week between Zombie, Footsteps/TDWP, Rhubarb etc to try to clear up any misunderstandings.

When the situation started to develop last week, we absolutely did not know that Footsteps was TDWP. We unearthed something to suggest that she was near midnight on the night that everything was kicking off. At that point, one MNer was waiting in a public place to meet up with her, and we had been told by Zombie and by Nom that the police were aware of the rendezvous details and were standing by to help if anything went wrong.

We could see from some PMs flying around that posters were saying that the crime reference number checked out, and that the refuge had confirmed they had a space for her, so at this point we thought the best course was to keep channels of communication open. So we didn't ban Footsteps again at that point, despite having realised who she was. We did re-ban her once things had settled down and we had been told she was in a safe place. Given past history, TDWP is not a poster we would consider allowing back to Mumsnet permanently.

At various points throughout the evening we were in phone or text contact with Zombie and with Rhubarb, mostly trying to establish (as far as we could) what was going on and whether people were behaving safely. FWIW, we thought at the time - and still do - that it was a hugely risky thing to do, and not something we would advise or encourage. We would never recommend that any MNer goes into a situation like this, particularly not on her own. As most of you will know, we remind posters regularly that not everyone on the internet is who and what they say they are. We're pulling together some content on internet safety for adults and hope to publish that soon.

We asked Rhubarb at the time (before we had conclusive evidence about Footsteps's identity) whether she thought the person Zombie was meeting was a previously banned poster, and she said that she had no reason to think it was.

Pretty much everything else took place off-board and via channels that we have no access to - so beyond this account we aren't able to say with certainty what has gone on.

No, outing posters publicly is never fair.

I am still stunned by the power and control issues being played out by a few poster's purportedly having inside imformatin into the situation. It seemed that there were a few people intent on being hero's. I agree with scottish mummy. This should have been left to those trained to deal with crisis situations. All that has come from this sad situation is a ton of bad feelings.

Having said that, I believe TLES was open about her old username, and RL name. Which is another social media boo-boo, tbh.

Oh sorry. Thought v was a posting name only

'Heroes'

She was very open about her name SDTG - it's all over here on threads.

Zombie - I agree with Mary & Beer. If you want to see why everyone was so worried, get a hold of the threads from that night - I am sure MN would happily email them to you. Until you have read them, I don't think you will see what all the fuss was about. It seems relatively well handled from your pov. It wasn't from ours, not at all. It was made far worse by crytic posts from the others involved.

The 'uncle' was probably the so called hammer wielding maniac - she does a good line in pretending to be scared does TDWP. If you didn't know who she was it's not at all surprising you fell for her antics.

(Two wrongs don't make a right though. So just because she was lax about her internet security doesn't mean it is ok to be lax on her behalf. I'm posting this in brackets cos I know its not the main subject of the thread)

nolans I thought she used it as her posting name too!? She chose to

(She changed her MN name from her rl name. That suggests to me she wanted some sort of anonymity at some point).

But, TBF, the first time I became aware of TLES was when she posted a thread in AIBU entitles something along the lines of "To want to tell you all my real name?"

Ok, I give up. It's not much to ask is it, to keep real names off a thread (which isn't even about tles) but apparently you can even argue the toss about that.

It's not too much to ask, no, which is any I haven't mentioned TLES's name in my post. But OTOH, it does indicate just how very open TLES herself was in linking the two. You live by the sword, you die by the sword.

.

Well I'm off to bed. A funny old day on Mumsnet, and not funny in a good way.

Can I just have a (drunken) group hug with Maryz, Rooners, XOmnie and Rhubarb Please, Teletubby style????

Pwetty purleeze?

MaryZ
Nothing to do with the current situation. They were posting of the RL name of a poster (who has used it as her posting name in the past, but I think it is better gone anyway)

Jayzus, I have just read Rhubarbs thread.

What a fucking shit way to treat a kind hearted long standing genuine poster. Clearly a group hug is NOT going to happen.

I read the original thread, Rhubarb was hardly on it. She was in a parents evening at her childs school.

Yet, she has been made a scape goat for all the palavar last weekend.

A good reason to leave this site, with venom spewing vindictive, drama and thrill seeking harpies....

No, the venom was one sided before rhubs became aware what was going on...

Zombie was the one who went haring off into the night to apparently take a woman to a hotel and spend the night with her It wasn't even slightly necessary and it was foolish, dangerous and ultimately turned out to be feeding the ego of a known troll and fantasist.
Rhubarb got involved because zombie contacted her. The whole thing was handled very badly by rhubarb and Nom even more so, and rhubarb has her part to play in offering her home to a random internet sprite which was also ridiculous, and I hope she thinks twice in future. But this wasn't rhubarb's idea and she didn't know about it until after zombie had left. It's very unfair to blame her for zombie's actions.

I did say that I didn't realise it wasn't her posting name. As in genuine mistake.

Kapish?

Pop your dummy back in your gob quint.what a big ole red faced tantrum
If you think mn is full of harpies,perhaps you're getting over involved.have a rest
Frankly,the whole event was histrionic and I think two parties involved liked the drama

We habitually tell our kids to be online safe,to not charge around meeting online strangers
The adults should heed such caution too.

Have to say I agree with quint. Rhubarb is taking an absolute pounding for this when it appears to have been any number of mistakes and risks being taken by more than one poster.