How often do you have sex?

[Lights22]

Just that really?

Pre children DH and I had sex maybe 5 times a month on average. Now it's maybe that many times a year 😱

For context our children have never slept through so for 5 years I've not had a good night's sleep. We still love each other, hug, laugh, snuggle, enjoy each other's company etc etc

Not many people talk about how sex changes over time. So now I'm curious, how many times do you have sex?

Happy valentine's day 😘❤️

3/4 times a week, sometimes more, sometimes less

Pretty much every day, but we don't have kids together (I have 2 from a previous relationship) and I think that makes a huge difference as we still have the 'have sex and make babies' hormone urge. Together 4.5 years, early 40s.

Between 3 and 5 times a week , together 17 years , one ds9 together .

I have a 3 year old and a 5 month old. We probably have sex every 10 days or so? I have to make a real effort I don't have much libido atm.

We have one extended bdsm play time together each week, then ‘ordinary’ sex 4 times usually. Both late 40s.

For those who have sex multiple times a week how long do you normally spend on it? We would like to be more frequent but DH drags it out so takes hours (but not in a good way) which is not motivating to do more frequently

about once a month at the moment... we have two DC who are 5 and 2. Toddler is still breastfeeding, we're both working. It's not enough and he'd like more but I'm just really tired all the time. It's good when we do.

Once since my 10 month old DD was conceived. It was just before I started chemo and as that’s aged me about 10 years, I’ve only got one boob, and barely any hair on my head, I very much doubt I’ll do it ever again. Never felt more repulsive in my whole life. Poor DH.

1/2 times a week. Both are happy with that

Oh I wish i could!

Feel exactly the same.

Tbh, about once a month but I'm really not bothered about it in the slightest. Sex can be good, but I'm genuinely not bothered. Would much rather sleep!

@Glitterbaby17 one session lasts approximately 4 hours, the others are 1 hour each. This works well for us!

Once or twice a week. More in school holidays.

Totally depends. Sometimes it's twice a week and then nothing for a month.

There is no pattern.

We have very different sleep schedules, I like to be in bed early. DH stays up until the early hours (and then moans that he is tired, but that's a story for another thread 🙄)

@WorryMcGee you have a new baby and have been through surgery and chemo, you’re an incredible woman! I understand how your self image has suffered but seriously you are not repulsive, your partner will be grateful every day to have you by his side. Please be kind to yourself 💗

Twice a week minimum
More when on holiday
TBF before we had kids we had sex virtually every day

Shocked at how much time you all have for this 😬♥️ I only have one DC and feel like I have no free time. Pre DC we were pretty regular but since childbirth I’ve really lost all libido… body not the same, not a priority, too tired, not into it enough… I’m sure DH would rather it was more often, and I’d like a more equal split of the mental load. Nothing like a bit of inequality to turn you off. Can’t always have what you want can you! X

@Judeisnotobscure 4 hours?! That's hell to me.

Maybe 3 or 4 times a week. Would do it 3 or 4 times a day if partner had his way.

@20viona i look forward to it all week!!

Hardly ever. Our teen has insomnia and doesn't sleep and also has lots of MH stuff so doesn't go out either. And we have a very creaky bed. Everything conspires against us. So there's no sex for us.

God I miss it.

To add, we're late 50s, married 17 years, and I'd still bang him like a storm door in the wind, given the chance...

Once or twice a week lately. It doesnt feel like its often enough.

Thanks for your replies. Really interesting!

Our eldest was never able to self settle and we're not up for sleep training. She always starts in her bed, wakes once, comes into our bed and sleeps through after that. It works for us. Baby is 11mo. Much better at settling himself but still waking for feeds or cuddles. Worse on days he goes to nursery.

After having our eldest my body had a new "purpose" birthing a baby and feeding a baby. Not sexial gratification anymore!

Tiredness is the biggest factor for us, we know that. DH regularly sends me to bed in the evenings so I can catch up with MN to get some sleep because I look "dreadful" (love him 🤣)

My libido has also seriously disappeared. I used to love sex, now I do enjoy it but have no drive for it. I get intimacy from him emotionally which works for me. Poor sex-starved guy!!

About twice a week- used to be three but oh is always tired and depressed. Tbh I would like it about 4-5 times a week. It pisses me off.

I used to just feel tired at the thought of sex and would often think that if it were made illegal, I would not be bothered.

Now I'm edging towards my mid forties and my libido has shot through the roof. It depends on where I am in my cycle - there are times when we do it 2x a day - but it is mostly around 4x a week.

We have 2 children, including one who doesn't seem to sleep as he has adhd, so we have learned to do it very quietly. Together 15 years, both mid forties.