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Original poster

How often do you have sex?

151 replies

Lights22 · 14/02/2023 22:45

Just that really?

Pre children DH and I had sex maybe 5 times a month on average. Now it's maybe that many times a year 😱

For context our children have never slept through so for 5 years I've not had a good night's sleep. We still love each other, hug, laugh, snuggle, enjoy each other's company etc etc

Not many people talk about how sex changes over time. So now I'm curious, how many times do you have sex?

Happy valentine's day 😘❤️

OP posts:
LadyJ2023 · 15/02/2023 00:53

With 3 babies and 1 teenager not often. But we still have a very loving and fun marriage cuddles kisses fondles etc etc an funnily enough discussed this subject the other week and yes we miss it but its not the full basis of our marriage either

Cookiecreamppie · 15/02/2023 02:34

4 or 5 times a week

Bookegg · 15/02/2023 05:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request

C1N1C · 15/02/2023 06:11

Once a month if lucky.

Genuine question tagging on to the OP's post... purely devil's advocate. And obviously going to preface this by saying no one should be forced or made to feel forced to have sex etc etc

If a relationship starts with lots of sex (e.g. OP's 5x a day, which to me is a lot), then when it declines to virtually non-existent, how are people surprised that partners get upset and/or cheat? Has this not set up an unreal expectation of the sexual future of the relationship? We've all seen it both ways on MN... men's libidos declining... women's libidos declining... so this isn't aimed at any specific gender.

I've likened this in the past to say having children... if the impression at relationship initiation was children were on the table, but taken off the table once the relationship flourishes, why is this not expected to be a deal breaker too???

MavisFlump · 15/02/2023 06:16

Never.
Cba.

Witsendwilly · 15/02/2023 06:17

Most mornings and most evenings, more at weekends.

Probably 12-15 times a week on average.

Married, both mid forties, been together 5 years.

MinnieMountain · 15/02/2023 06:23

1-3 times a week. I know DH is happier at 3 times a week but I’m peri-menopausal and my libido has gone down.

userxx · 15/02/2023 06:29

thismumrocks · 14/02/2023 23:37

Last time about 2 or 3 years ago, married 12 years together 25 years.

I really don't like sex at all, and kissing, iv never enjoyed it. Iv retired from sex and happy to never have it again in my life.

We are still very much in love, my husband just accepts the way I feel.

Retired from sex 🤣

FawnFrenchieMum · 15/02/2023 06:37

It varies but probably around 10 times a month. I tend to have a week where I can’t get enough of it and then other weeks I’ll take it or leave it.

We have some form of sexual act (hand / mouth) at least every other day though.

We’ve been together almost 20 years and married for 18. Kids are now teens.

We have had patches of our relationship where it’s been much less, but that usually indicates that one of us is either unwell or stressed / depressed. Even when the kids were small we tried to make time for it. It’s an important part of our relationship.

TheLastDreamOfTheOak · 15/02/2023 06:58

Every other day. Which is not enough for me but suits dh.

KangarooKenny · 15/02/2023 07:30

My DH used to work away a lot, so it was once when he was home for days off.

Zanatdy · 15/02/2023 08:38

New relationship of 3 months so every time we have seen each other when at his house we have sex. 2-3 times if I stay over. Sure this will die down over time, but whilst we don’t live together I’m sure we will have sex everytime we see each other. I went over a decade with no sex as I was single by choice after relationship with father of DC broke down. After years of mediocre sex it didn’t bother me. Now I’m having great sex and can’t get enough!

sealon82 · 15/02/2023 14:39

2/3 times per week. 40 and 43.

summerlovingvibes · 15/02/2023 14:49

Haven't had sex since I was 3 months pregnant with DD2 who is now 4.5 months. Have been intimate in other ways once since then. Would like sex again, but simply cba at the mo!

trevthecat · 15/02/2023 15:22

Mid 30's, together 8 years, 3 kids (2 older are mine from previous marriage, 1 together) probably 2/3 times a week. Would probably be more but with the kids, work, housework etc were both tired!

bobbytorq · 15/02/2023 15:26

I'm in a new relationship and I only wee my partner over the weekend but probably 3 or 4 times during that period.

Parentofatween · 15/02/2023 15:31

1-2 a week, together 13 years married for 10 with a 11 year old DD

Parentofatween · 15/02/2023 15:32

Oh I'm 47 and and DH is 40

illtakeit · 15/02/2023 15:36

Once a year

Leakingtoilet · 15/02/2023 15:38

peachgreen · 14/02/2023 23:30

DP and I don’t live together and we usually only get one overnight a week so on average it’s once a week (there’s usually a child around any other time we see each other!). Often twice in one “session” though. I suspect if we lived together it would be twice a week. Before DH died he and I averaged maybe once a week after DD was born, and probably twice or three times a week before that.

Ideally I’d have sex at least once a day, but I’ve never found a partner who has the same high sex drive as me!

Very off topic, sorry, but just wanted to say I'm really happy for you. I remember you and what happened with your DH and I'm so pleased you've found some happiness.

peachgreen · 15/02/2023 15:39

Oh @Leakingtoilet that’s so kind. Thank you. I miss DH every single day and wish he was still here, but DP is a wonderful man who has brought me so much happiness and joy. It is a very strange feeling, but I am content.

springhassprung22 · 15/02/2023 15:41

My realistic goal is once a month to be honest! I think we managed that last year. DH would like it more, but to be honest it feels like an effort for me to fit it in. It's always good, fine, and I do feel closer because of it, it's the thought of making the effort for me. Two young DC 7 and under, married 10 years, together 14.

Firsttimemum120 · 15/02/2023 15:43

I’ve just gone 8 weeks and had it twice but usually have it 3/4 times a week with my partner. Our child is only 14 months old so we find the time but I imagine it may lessen as she gets older but I find we both prioritise it.

Iloveabaconbutty · 15/02/2023 15:44

We've been married for nearly 26 years, are in our mid-50s, and have four young adult children two of whom are based at home for the moment.

Sex frequency has actually remained pretty constant throughout that time between one and maybe three, sometimes four times a week depending on tiredness, opportunity and so on.

I would say the quality of sex is the best now that it ever has been in terms of how we relate to each other, communicate with one another, know what we each like best. We are basically so much more relaxed and chilled about the whole thing than the early years we were together.

BurbageBrook · 15/02/2023 15:50

Currently pregnant, once a week ish, though there was a month in the first trimester I went off it completely. When not pregnant, 2-3 times a week, but guessing that might change after baby is born...

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