What do you consider to be vanilla?

[quirkycutekitch]

And what's the next step up from vanilla & has it got a name?

Chemsex is taking drugs to increase sexual appetite and loosen inhibitions. This is how me and dp fell into more hardcore stuff. Very addictive tho, not just the drugs we were taking the drugs for the sex. We found we were having much less non chemsex as a result.

So dare I ask which drugs stabby?
I did ecstasy & coke back in the day and was far more rampant and kinky than now, but I didn't have kids then

I think there is the BDSM definition of vanilla i.e. in no way BDSM ( and afaik they coined the phrase so that is the original def as it were)
And then the everyday common usage version. Where it means the less adventurous side of what most people think most people get up to.

Ok given the definition of vanilla mostly used here, (which is more vanilla = nothing kinky/bdsm) what do you call the other side of vanilla from kinky?
Because I have met lots of men who e.g. do not do oral, only really do missionary, view shaving as risque, will not masturbate in front of their dp, think their dp is out of order if they do, no sex during periods etc. Etc.
To them kinky is sex in the doggy position!

So other than deeply boring, what are they if not vanilla?

I would go for a scale of vanilla, normal, adventurous, kinky, really kinky, weird/specialist all of which are fine if consenting (and then there is illegal, wrong and nasty).

Cat, speed, coke, Legal highs. It was very crazy. Ecstasy made me loose all motor skills couldnt move on that stuff, sex definitely not possible!

pegfin your right everyone's perception of vanilla is going to concede with what they themself are happy doing.

I think some of those men would have described themselves happily as vanilla. Vanilla and proud!

But really I am up for suggestions for another term for them as it seems vanilla on here would be their idea of Sodom and Gamora (only most of them weren't religious and at least one was bi but in every other way extremely uptight (in his case possibly mildly disgusted by women but funnily enough it was the acts possibly most associated with gay sex he found the most unappealing))

pegfin I would probably put that under "repressed" TBH.

However, I hate period sex . It's messy. Your partner's dick looks like a crime scene afterwards. You have to get out of bed to put your mooncup/tampon/towel in/on. You get blood all over the sheets. Also, if the guy has a long cock IT REALLY HURTS ME, I'm assuming because your cervix is more open or whatever.

I've been on depo for 6 years so I don't really get periods any more and I could not be more thankful.

HATE, HATE, HATE the term vanilla.

Slightly off topic - but how long has there been a 'sex' topic I didn't know about???

About a week, penguins :)

Shower sex best when you have a period. Although runs the risk of third degree Burns

Oh that's not so bad then pocket

I was wondering about a BDSMonth discussion thread. My husband and I are Dom/sub but we're discovering it together rather than being full on fetlife users.... certainly my ideas of what I thought was"very kinky" and out there has changed!

The terms "kinky" and "vanilla" cannot really be defined as they are both relative, surely?

What is water sports?

Isn't it weeing on someone?

can I just ask those of you into rimming. What if unbeknownst to you the rimee has worms. They lay the eggs on the anus

orange and also around the vagina....so....

around the entrance to the vagina rather

I am sooooo vanilla and don't care. I am actually a real prude tbh. Anal is defo out and don't give BJs either. Each to their own though'

I don't rim, it just doesn't appeal, but have been rimmed, and is quite pleasant,

It is recommended that the safest way to rim is to use cling film, so you don't lose sensitivity,

I think the term vanilla is pretty personal to each....what I deem "vanilla" might be very kinky to others & vice versa. As long as everyone involved is a consenting adult then who really gives a fuck as to what each other considers vanilla/kinky/perverted.

unknown what do you mean, lose sensitivity? The arsehole or the tongue?

Also, wouldnt it taste a bit like poo?

beavington I'm glad I'm not the only one having these thoughts I'm such a prude

If you're into rimming then the person receiving should be having a thorough wash beforehand with a soapy finger up the bum to be squeaky clean. Lots of people use an anal douche before bum-play to avoid the risk of a nugget of poo making an unexpected guest appearance

TMI, I'm def a prude but I don't think I'm vanilla