politeness - is there a time and a place? (sorry if tmi)

[toopolite]

Got a new fella in my life, we've been to bed, something's bothering me...

When (ahem), I'm doing things to him and at the moment of big pleasure (if you get my drift) he utters such words as: 'oh gosh, golly gosh, oh flip' and at the high point, I got an: "oh sugar".

I find this a terrible turn off, it's like being in bed with Billy Bunter, what would you do?

Also, I've noticed that he talks about his mother in almost every sentence... should alarm bells be ringing?

Got to dash to work now but will check in later, please offer me some advice, I've been out of the dating game for ages and may be a bit rusty, but is this normal for a grown man?

p.s. regular mn here, just name changed (hope it works, cringe)

It's just that I imagined him wanting to be "punished" for being a bad boy. Perhaps he's trying to displease you so you will be strict with him?
It sounds very much like he's a "bottom" then and will never, ever be able to do the things you want him to as it's not in his submissive nature.
If he's not even able to switch and be equally dominant then you will forever have an unhappy sex life.
I couldn't handle a truly submissive man either, I like being taken in hand too much.
It seems that he's a mouse rather than a man in the bedroom and unless you're into being the dominatrix , all you'll get is very frustrated.

I have nothing to add to this, but I'm off work today pretending to be ill and I nearly chocked to death on a strawberry Quality Street at "lady foof".

Classic.

Malifience - that's a really interesting point you make. I think it's just the way he is and I won't be able to make him become a beast in the bedroom. Will ponder this some more.

Or, do you think that if he was to use a 'naughty' word or groan in ecstasy, then I may be able to 'punish' him (i.e. be extra sexy, no pain or anything, just deliver some sexy trick to the bad boy?

If you know what I mean?

cocolepew - better than a toffee finger, arf!

Update - I'm seeing him at lunch, he's asked me out. I'm going to swear like a sailor and then say, oh oops, but actually, do you mind etc, then maybe ask him what the worst swear word he knows is?

Might steer round the conversation to boudoir matters if the mood is right - if you don't hear from me, then I may be indulging in a bit of afternoon delight!

I'm wondering if he's on his best behaviour and wants to let rip?

Or is he just too polite for me?

Only time will tell...

test

Sorry, wrong thread

Perhaps a warning to him that if he makes a sound, you will punish him?
Then if he says " that's a bit weird, I'm off" you know he hasn't got a major kink for being submissive.
If he disobeys you with eyes like a wounded puppy then he really wants you to hurt him!

I will often "disobey" my husband, with a glint in my eye, in order to get a spanking.

Maybe, if we do make it back into the sack at some point - which I fully intend to do - I can get him to use a 'bad' word, then be stern and say: "How dare you sue that foul language with me' and give him a reward for it?

Will that give him the idea?

As he never swears in RL, then maybe he will reserve that kind of behaviour for the bedroom?

I have to find out.

Popping out now to meet the man for lunch - will report back with findings...

Also, meant to add, darn it, I've got no work done at all today because of you lot!

I've been in 3 hour meeting and have been dying to know how this thread was going! Have you not come back from lunch yet then toopolite?

lady foof aahhh...wipes tears, picks up chair, sits on chair...

laughing aside surely -
lady foof + talks about mummy alot + likes to be dominated = run for the hills

Is it just me? I like a man to be all man and I definitely don't want to be his mum!!!

Freename, my feelings exactly.

He could make the perfect slave though, stick him in a pinny and a chastity device and Bob's your uncle! All your housework done.

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=foof

apparently other people use this term too so not something he and his mummy made up

Right-o - back from lunch, but have been called in for a meeting, will have to give a full update later on, but in a nutshell, he said that he swears loads!

Huh?

Sorry to type and run, will be back later!

Am liking the idea of keeping him in a pinny as a slave to clean up my filthy house.

How very, VERY odd.

< wipes tears from eyes >

omg, you could have some evil fun with this man

am loving some of the scenarios

you could keep coming and reporting back how a particular approach went

especially since this is a new relationship and you will be at it like bunny-wabbits rabbits

this could keep us amused for weeks !

ok, so he's a nice bloke, but surely if this gets on your nerves, then don't you find his language irritating out of the bedroom?

you just seem too different all round for it to go anywhere (as far as i can tell)

I keep picturing Hugh Grant, but we all know what a dirty bugger he was!

I agree wih Anyfucker - we need ALL the gory details for our -twisted entertainment- serious opinion.

Damn it I only put one hyphen!

hmm, yes and putting a hyphen between 2 words cancels the strike-out

OMG PMSL !!!!!!!!!!! cannot believe what i am reading, i can't read anymore i keep laughing out loud and my 4 months olds asleep and i dont wanna wake her up!!!!

toopolite - get rid!! he sounds a bit weird!! ;)

xx

Are really you sure his name doesn't begin with a J? I can't believe there's more than one of them around!

I stuck with it for a while because I hoped he had potential. But eventually I ran for the hills.

The straw that broke it was his mother. And his reaction to her and me. It so wasn't how I thought it should be!

Ok. We went for a bite to eat, then about ten minutes in, I eased into the subject thus:

Me: Oh you?ll never believe it, there was this person in my office who was going ape-shit to someone on the phone, giving them a real bollocking. Fucking Hell, he was really letting rip! Oops, mind my own language here, I think it?s rubbed off a bit on me? so, do YOU have a favourite swear word?

Him: Oh yes, I say bugger and bollocks all the time, plus fuck. I?d save the C-word only for when it was really necessary.

Me: (flabbergasted silence)

Me (continued): So when do you swear, I?ve never heard you swear at all, you?re always so polite?

Him: It?s only since I?ve met you that I?ve held back.

So ? dear MNtters, what ever do I make of this and what do I do? Why have I made him go all Bertie Wooster in the bedroom? How can I get him to stop it and Russell Brand it up a bit? Where does all the Enid Blyton come from?

Seriously, I have not heard him ever swear, nor say anything smutty, when does he do it all then?

Fortunately, he didn?t mention his mother over lunch, which was a first, I think I caught him unawares with the swearing chat.

I am very confused.