How much would someone smoking cocaine on a weekend bother you?

[400N]

I can’t decide if I have massively overreacted or if my gut instinct was right to end it over this

For context I have ADHD and find decision making really difficult - often changing my mind multiple times before making a final decision

I’ve been divorced 5 years and with DS now off to uni I began dating and all were terrible until this latest one

He is 55 so 10 years older than me, has his own flat ( rented as couldn’t afford a mortgage after his divorce ) and seems to be a great dad to his 2 kids although they are adults

We met the first evening for dinner and he was charming, paid for the meal and was lovely - he did seem quite loud and chatty but mentioned his kids both have ADHD so I thought maybe this was why

The second date was longer as we went for drinks after a meal and he suddenly starts sprinkling cocaine into a roll up cigarette as if this was completely normal behaviour

I made my excuses and left early although continued to talk and message before he asked why I was avoided meeting him again and I told him - he said it only happens when he drinks which I believed then as didn’t see any signs on date 1 and if he wanted to hide it altogether I thought he would have sniffed it rather than smoked it in front of me?

Anyway date 3 rolled around and we went to a film, all nice but he wanted to go for drinks after and I didn’t want the topic to come up so left early

Date 4 he booked a hotel - he started smoking it again after a few drinks at the bar and I found the sex really weird
It lasted a very very long time and all felt quite detached on his part

Weirdly straight after was very loving and close and he had bought me a beautiful necklace for my upcoming birthday which he gave to me early

He holds down a high powered job and works very long hours and says this is just his way of unwinding - for me cocaine is to get high and have a buzz?

Ive never taken drugs and don’t know if I’m considering ending a really good thing over a weekend habit or whether this is what addiction actually looks like and I’m being an idiot

Any help very gratefully received xx

Weird, I thought one snorted coke not smoked it. Shows just how behind the times I am.

I wouldn’t spend a minute in a relationship with anyone who uses drugs.

I think you mean cannabis not cocaine.

Can you even smoke it in a cigarette?

And me
Never seen it before in my life
He does part time modelling so said it’s to keep his nose nice 🙄

I don’t!

I didn’t realise it was smoked either. This would be a deal breaker for me, someone doing drugs on a weekend wouldn’t match my interests/way of relaxing etc. it’s just personal choice though I guess

Just googled and sprinkling it in a cigarette makes it largely ineffective. Do you mean cannabis?

I am also quite confused about people smoking cocaine!

It can only be smoked in the form of crack… you’d be insane to be with anyone that does that shit

Dump that loser.

Unless it's crack then no you don't smoke cocaine.

Nope I mean cocaine

White powdered cocaine

Unless he is snorting it as well but then I don’t know why he would admit to it as I watched him sprinkle it into every cigarette

I also googled and although it’s largely more ineffective the hit can actually be harder and higher at the time as directly going into the lungs

I would have been out of there long before you. Please don’t bring this man into your life any further.

You did the right thing. Someone taking cocaine would be a 100% deal breaker as far as I'm concerned. I'm astounded that he appeared to think that taking it was such a normal and commonplace occurrence that he did it right in front of you on a second date.

It wasn’t crack
It was white powder

Definitely not completely ineffective as he was hyped up after 2/3 cigarettes with it in it

Surely you can see how seedy this is?

It would be a definite no for me… 🚩🚩🚩

Yes I raised this with him and said iy was very common in the workplace he’s in ( a barrister FFS )

And part time model

It greatly reduces its potency but I suppose for some, particularly crack users, it's a slightly more sociable way to partake.

OP, this guy seems drug dependent. He isn't doing the odd line on a night out. This is how he keeps himself stable. He is a functional addict in my opinion.

No thanks.

A relationship with someone who regularly uses illegal drugs is never going to be a “really good thing”.

Yes I can

Ive never taken drugs so have been made to feel really judgemental by him for my opinion and even a few friends have said it’s because I’m sheltered and it’s very common is high paced jobs

Can you smoke it?? I really don’t think you can smoke cocaine. Maybe crack cocaine which is crack I think and if so cut him loose and quickly.

Could you possibly be outing him here?