I can’t decide if I have massively overreacted or if my gut instinct was right to end it over this
For context I have ADHD and find decision making really difficult - often changing my mind multiple times before making a final decision
I’ve been divorced 5 years and with DS now off to uni I began dating and all were terrible until this latest one
He is 55 so 10 years older than me, has his own flat ( rented as couldn’t afford a mortgage after his divorce ) and seems to be a great dad to his 2 kids although they are adults
We met the first evening for dinner and he was charming, paid for the meal and was lovely - he did seem quite loud and chatty but mentioned his kids both have ADHD so I thought maybe this was why
The second date was longer as we went for drinks after a meal and he suddenly starts sprinkling cocaine into a roll up cigarette as if this was completely normal behaviour
I made my excuses and left early although continued to talk and message before he asked why I was avoided meeting him again and I told him - he said it only happens when he drinks which I believed then as didn’t see any signs on date 1 and if he wanted to hide it altogether I thought he would have sniffed it rather than smoked it in front of me?
Anyway date 3 rolled around and we went to a film, all nice but he wanted to go for drinks after and I didn’t want the topic to come up so left early
Date 4 he booked a hotel - he started smoking it again after a few drinks at the bar and I found the sex really weird
It lasted a very very long time and all felt quite detached on his part
Weirdly straight after was very loving and close and he had bought me a beautiful necklace for my upcoming birthday which he gave to me early
He holds down a high powered job and works very long hours and says this is just his way of unwinding - for me cocaine is to get high and have a buzz?
Ive never taken drugs and don’t know if I’m considering ending a really good thing over a weekend habit or whether this is what addiction actually looks like and I’m being an idiot
Any help very gratefully received xx