How much would someone smoking cocaine on a weekend bother you?

[400N]

I can’t decide if I have massively overreacted or if my gut instinct was right to end it over this

For context I have ADHD and find decision making really difficult - often changing my mind multiple times before making a final decision

I’ve been divorced 5 years and with DS now off to uni I began dating and all were terrible until this latest one

He is 55 so 10 years older than me, has his own flat ( rented as couldn’t afford a mortgage after his divorce ) and seems to be a great dad to his 2 kids although they are adults

We met the first evening for dinner and he was charming, paid for the meal and was lovely - he did seem quite loud and chatty but mentioned his kids both have ADHD so I thought maybe this was why

The second date was longer as we went for drinks after a meal and he suddenly starts sprinkling cocaine into a roll up cigarette as if this was completely normal behaviour

I made my excuses and left early although continued to talk and message before he asked why I was avoided meeting him again and I told him - he said it only happens when he drinks which I believed then as didn’t see any signs on date 1 and if he wanted to hide it altogether I thought he would have sniffed it rather than smoked it in front of me?

Anyway date 3 rolled around and we went to a film, all nice but he wanted to go for drinks after and I didn’t want the topic to come up so left early

Date 4 he booked a hotel - he started smoking it again after a few drinks at the bar and I found the sex really weird
It lasted a very very long time and all felt quite detached on his part

Weirdly straight after was very loving and close and he had bought me a beautiful necklace for my upcoming birthday which he gave to me early

He holds down a high powered job and works very long hours and says this is just his way of unwinding - for me cocaine is to get high and have a buzz?

Ive never taken drugs and don’t know if I’m considering ending a really good thing over a weekend habit or whether this is what addiction actually looks like and I’m being an idiot

Any help very gratefully received xx

Now you’ve written this down and hopefully read your own posts, OP, you’re not honestly still needing us to contribute? You know the answer to this one.

I call bullshit on the whole scenario. ‘Barrister and part-time model’. 😂😂😂

Why have you got 2 threads about this?

Drug takers, just like alcoholics, will always say 'Oh everybody does it'.

That's the excuse they use to fool themselves into believing that they don't have a problem.

Well unless he’s on mumsnet?
And it’s true

I wasn’t sure on the part time modelling think either - he said this in direct response to me asking why he smokes it instead of snorts it because I honestly didn’t know it was a thing

I didn’t know if there would be many responses on here
why?

Absolutely no way.
Run a fucking mile!!

If he's so detached from reality that he's not even trying to hide his habit...by blatantly sprinkling it on in view of you, then he's an addict and it's a huge issue.

Run and do not look back.

I divorced someone that was using coke for thrills. I wouldn't stand for it AT ALL.

You shouldn't be dating anyone if you can't see how bad this is.

Disgusting. I would have ghosted him the first time he did it.

So many weird threads on here at the moment!

Thank you for this and sorry for your experience

it was very shocking for me as I’ve never taken drugs or been around them and it www very normalised in his world

Just because you’ve posted them 1 minute apart 🤷🏼‍♀️

Ok so I’ve googled it and it appears it’s crack. Sorry but that’s craaaazy! Block him.
Cocaine is bad too but maybe more recreational. Crack highly addictive. Do not go there. Barristers are under lots of pressure etc, he isn’t stopping anytime soon. Erase him form your life!

I couldn’t find anywhere in my googling that crack was a white powder?

Not that it makes it any better but where did you find that as I couldn’t?

Delete from your phone and block. What a loser. You can do better than a drug addict!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

how many threads do you plan to start about this?

Well there are 2
Jeez

I’ve worked in substance misuse for over 15 years and never heard of anybody smoking cocaine. 🤷‍♀️

Search for powdered crack cocaine in images.
https://www.oceanrecovery.com/addiction-blog/what-does-crack-look-like/#:~:text=Crushed%20powder

Crack cocaine can be powdered - the preview image shows the rocks, but if you click the link it'll show the powdered form.

It’s not crack.

I’ve only ever known one person who smoked cocaine in a cigarette. It’s not a common way to use it, but that doesn’t make it crack. Crack is smoked using a pipe, or foil.

Hard and immediate no from me.

Those careers do not go hand in hand @400N, are you sure he isn’t bullshitting?
In any event the only “mistake” you made was going on dates 3 & 4, he’s a druggie, and if he didn’t do this he’d probably be able to afford a house!

I wouldn’t get involved in this. A man that age that still does drugs is always a mess. Cocaine absolutely wrecks cardiac health, and most sane people would of quit long ago especially with having kids.