Grandma intervening all the time

[LunaMoon1986]

Just a Rant.
I am SO fed up with my little girl's nana constantly undermining me as her mum! 😤
Every time I tell my daughter NO, she runs straight to her nana, who thinks she should never be refused anything because she's only a little girl. 🙄
YES, she's a little girl, but she's also a child who needs boundaries! When Mummy says no, the answer is NO. Running to someone else shouldn't mean she gets her own way.
I'm her mum, and I'm trying to raise her properly, teach her respect and boundaries, and prepare her for the real world.
YOU CAN LOVE YOUR GRANDCHILD WITHOUT UNDERMINING THEIR MUM!
I'm so tired of feeling like I have to fight to parent my own child. Stop interfering, stop undermining me, and let me be her mum! 😤👏 I have tried telling my ex partner who is the father to our little girl to tell his mum to stop sticking her nose in. All I get back is well your mum doesn't do anything your mum doesn't treat her so my mum is doing everything that your mother can't be bothered to do so I'm not getting support from her or him absolutely gets on my nerves.

You and this “nana” seem to live in each other’s pockets

Are you reliant on her for substantial childcare? Very strange to be spending SO much time with your ex’s mother

@Offtoday what do you mean by that?

So she’s an ex MIL
why is she spending time with you rather than your DD and your ex?
and is the criticism of your mum got a kernel of truth to it or is it your ex being vindictive ?

@Offtoday I don't spend any time with her at all I've no reason to her son is my ex what I'm saying is when my little girl wants something and I say no she will then go and ask her nana after I've just said no and when I say to my little girl you shouldn't have done that when mummy says no I mean no but then her nana is like she's just a little girl you shouldn't refuse her things of course you can how are they going to learn that's what I mean I don't hang around her

@rubyslippersmy mother doesnt really bother with me or my daughter. His does do alot for our daughter but when I say no to something she says yes. I dont hang around her ive no reason to.

It' a bit confusing @LunaMoon1986 . You say you don't spend time with this woman so how is your DD going to ask her nana' when you say no?

@Woojihoonshe has a tablet. And when she goes to her dads on a weekend. My ex lives with his mum.

How is your child able to go running to the woman-does she live very close?
Why is the woman contacting you to tell you 'shes just a little girl'?

Your post doesn’t read like you don’t spend a lot of time with her
and if your ex’s mum is hands on and involved then you’re right to ask for boundaries
and your ex does have a point if your mum isn’t involved (however it doesn’t mean his mum should be undermining)
you need to work with your ex to resolve this like grown ups

My daughter has got a tablet and she messages her nana on that so this is how my little girl manages to get what she wants I just want to make things clear I do not interact with my ex-boyfriend's mother I've no reason to what I'm saying is when I say no to my little girl her nana says yes and that's what annoys me I don't hang out with her I don't interact with her my daughter communicates with her nana via tablet that's how she gets what she wants.

one possible option is limiting the tablet time? how old is your little one?

@rubyslippersi don't have a great relationship with my mother to be fair with you. He is right his mother does do a lot for our daughter but what I am saying is I don't like it when she says yes to my little girl after I've said no I just feel like I can't parent my daughter with boundaries without his mum overriding my response to my little girl plus not only that my mum suffers really badly with her legs and her back so she doesn't really have that much of a social life and can't really go far and majority of the time is always bed bound that's another reason why she doesn't interact with my daughter

How old is your DD? You are her parent, you can remove the ability for her to call/message her Nana on a tablet.

I'm not really understanding how the woman is overriding you via tablet - can you give some examples.

If she's with her Dad at weekends there's not much you can do. You have to reinforce what you want from DD in the week when she's with you and limit her ability to speak to the woman when she's with you.

@shellyleppard9. She does have her time limited then that's when she has to come off it when she is with her dad at the weekend she spends time with her nana as he lives with her I just don't like the facts that his mum always says to my little girl yes darling you can have it when I've said no before so I have said to my little girl when Mummy says no no is no it doesn't mean gone ask nana she does it because she knows her Nana will say yes.

@Woojihoon basically my daughter wants an electric scooter i said no you're too young. She has then video called her nana and asked if she could have one for Xmas her nana said yes. After I said no. That's overriding my response to my child. I said no she said yes

50/50 with your ex?
Focus on your 50.%

I agree
but presumably her father is fine with it

@AbsobeautelyShe sees her at weekends. She has a tablet that she video calls her nana on.

Your child is with your ex every weekend?

You need to come to an agreement with your ex. His excuse that your mother is not involved is not a reason for his to over indulge and is a cop out for him. Speak to your ex MIL and tell her that you are not willing to allow her to give your daughter what she demands all the time. Tell her clearly what your boundaries are and if necessary tell her you will be implementing your daughter's strict use of her tablet. Remind her that you are the primary parent and she should be respecting your boundaries. Tell her you appreciate her involvement with your daughter but the constant giving her granddaughter everything she asks for is not good parenting/grandparenting, You need to nip this in the bud.
What age is your daughter?

@Offtodayyes sadly he is. He doesn't look into these things like i do with electric things. The scooter is going to be big its fast and she hasnt been on one alone. I'm probably sensitive.

@OfftodayNo every other weekend.

@LunaMoon1986 i understand its a difficicult situation.

What a deadbeat.
You own the tablet computer, so you control the child's use of it.

Electric scooters are illegal except on private land, does the woman own land?